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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was soo harsh of a punishment

43 replies

Olympicmumgold · 03/08/2024 16:39

Hi, maybe I am too soft and willing to be told otherwise 😂

we recently went on a 5 day holiday with a larger group to a well known outdoor holiday parc in the uk.
there was 3 parties

party 1 - mum and 1 child
party 2 mum and 3 children ( me )
party 3 grandparents, mum and 2 children.

all the children know each-other and all super excited. Each party had a child with additional needs including party 3 with a 11 year old with autism ( I know it isn’t used anymore but I do think it’s relevant to say he is high functioning ) and is very independent. Let’s call him Fred.

fred was as good as good 99.9 percent of the time. All the children at some point were told off/ made mistakes.

the children all played together in the evenings which started on the Monday night.
tuesday night Fred had reacted to the younger one kicking him and called him something ( didn’t quite hear what ) and was removed instantly to his lodge / bedroom and wasn’t allowed out until the next day.
during Tuesday he was great and spent time swimming which he loved, with party 1 parent and all the kids. He was very very excited about going swimming again Wednesday evening and didn’t stop talking about it during the day Wednesday asking for reassurance that he was going again and was lovely to see how happy he was about the swimming pool. They were leaving early on the Friday so Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday were the only days possible to swim.

on Wednesday they did some activities in the morning, I was already back at the lodge with my disabled DC when Fred arrived back exclaiming the others were behind him they had picked the scooters up from the bike / scooter park where they had locked them up. He was about 3 /4 minutes ahead of them.
he hadn’t realised because there was no cars etc and he knew the way that driving ahead would be a problem and really didn’t think, I am guessing because it wouldn’t have been a problem for the other children the same age ( mine and party 2 )
all hell broke lose when the other adults caught up and the mum removed him from our lodge in to theirs. We were swiftly informed that he was now not allowed to leave his lodge until the next day so was banned from swimming. We had gone in and he was sobbing. We had to collect all the children and walk off to swimming leaving him behind.
I don’t know, I can see he did wrong and I probably would have told him off to but I felt like it was quite cruel and there was many other solutions ?

OP posts:
Newtrix · 03/08/2024 16:41

Shitty and cruel.

GreenIvyy · 03/08/2024 16:44

Ah bless him 😢

TonyeKnausgaard · 03/08/2024 16:45

Poor kid. No, I wouldn't punish a child for making an honest mistake. I especially wouldn't punish them by taking away something they clearly cared deeply about.

That's made me feel quite sad.

LoneHydrangea · 03/08/2024 16:45

Cruel and nasty. Poor kid. Some people should not be parents.

Newsenmum · 03/08/2024 16:47

Poor kid :( and he’s autistic wtf

Sprinkles211 · 03/08/2024 16:47

Jesus poor kid I have 3 with sen of varying needs and no way I'd punish any of them for just being excited.

Sunshineafterthehail · 03/08/2024 16:49

Sounds like they just wanted an excuse not to take him swimming.. Twats.

GoogleWhacked · 03/08/2024 16:51

Seems unnecessarily cruel to me. He's only 11, I presume he didn't realise he was "in charge" of getting the other home.

jakesmommy · 03/08/2024 16:52

I don't understand why it was such a problem, he was on a holiday site with no traffic and found his way back, I would have praised him not punished him

BloodyBrokenCar · 03/08/2024 16:53

Were the others with an adult?

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 03/08/2024 16:56

The punishment was for riding off ahead of the adults?

It's very harsh.

If I was to play devil's advocate, perhaps him running off is a regular thing that they are trying to come down hard on? I still don't think it's reasonable, I'm just trying to speculate on what their own internal logic (if they had any) might have been for enforcing such a punishment for something that doesn't seem like an issue at all really.

Olympicmumgold · 03/08/2024 16:57

BloodyBrokenCar · 03/08/2024 16:53

Were the others with an adult?

They were coming back from activities and with adults they had stopped to get the scooters and he grabbed his and started scootering arriving back first.

OP posts:
GoogleWhacked · 03/08/2024 17:00

Olympicmumgold · 03/08/2024 16:57

They were coming back from activities and with adults they had stopped to get the scooters and he grabbed his and started scootering arriving back first.

Oh I misunderstood, I thought he'd raced ahead of other younger children. Even more cruel 😢
What a horrible way to treat a young, excited child.

UrbanFan · 03/08/2024 17:00

Poor little fella. How wicked of his parents.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 03/08/2024 17:05

Seems harsh.

Waaaaaahh · 03/08/2024 17:06

Sunshineafterthehail · 03/08/2024 16:49

Sounds like they just wanted an excuse not to take him swimming.. Twats.

That's what I was thinking. Now they don't need to bother.

Balloonhearts · 03/08/2024 17:06

If they called after him and told him to wait then I'd say he asked for it and there's no point in a consequence that the child doesn't care about.

If no one tried to stop him or told him not to then how was he supposed to know he had to wait? In that case I'd have just told him not to do it again and explained why.

Lillycc · 03/08/2024 17:18

Disgusting parents. And to be honest I'd have made a stand and said none of the children are going swimming then as it's really unfair to leave him out. Shitting parents and I hope they see this thread and see the replies.

oatmilk4breakfast · 03/08/2024 17:33

You should show them this thread. Awful parenting. It’s made me very sad.

Witchbitch20 · 03/08/2024 17:37

Shitty parenting.

Timetoeat · 03/08/2024 17:42

Very over the top punishment for the "offense" .
Who stayed back with him? Did the grandparents come to the pool with the other child? We're you expected to mind the other child?

Olympicmumgold · 03/08/2024 17:45

Timetoeat · 03/08/2024 17:42

Very over the top punishment for the "offense" .
Who stayed back with him? Did the grandparents come to the pool with the other child? We're you expected to mind the other child?

I couldn’t swim due to youngest. Party 1 mum mainly took other 5 with occasionally 1 grandparent going. The party 3 mum never went once.

OP posts:
Timetoeat · 03/08/2024 17:55

Had It been discussed who was going to be going swimming? I think it's a bit cheeky of party 3 to expect the party parent 1 to take their other child swimming aswell without discussion first.
I would not be happy about one parent to 5 children ratio.

SussexLass87 · 03/08/2024 17:59

This has made me feel so sad - absolute overreaction.

Crazycatlady79 · 03/08/2024 18:04

Poor boy. Borderline cruel.
Wanker parents.

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