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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I live in social Hosuing, the council want me to attend mediation with my neighbours who have threatened violence and stolen/broken my property many times

29 replies

ausi · 03/08/2024 09:52

I live in social housing and my local council sent and email saying they are aware of our issues and it can't be nice for anyone involved

They hate me because we exist. A bit of background. We're top flat and they are bottom. They bang up if I so much as hoover (I have a normal shark hoover). They cannot stand I go into my own garden which isn't shared, they cannot stand I have guest over (we don't have loud music or drink etc). I have three young children. They make the acceptable noise level (council has had noise equipment to prove this). Yet they harass me endlessly.

They've stolen my parcels, they've broken the kids bikes, they've cut my hose in my own garden. They've treated to "beat me up" many times over my kids playing. They've thrown smashed glass into my garden to hurt the children.

They are miserable people. They can't see anyone happy. A lot of people have suggested racism as my kids are mixed. I'm not with the kids dad anymore it's just me and my three children. As soon as we split they did so much more

They do such stupid things like throwing my youngest bike into the bushes when it's in my own garden. They've emptied their ash tray on my stairs (we don't share these)
Even things like I get my shopping delivered they go mental about that and that the delivery van shouldn't be parked on the street!!!

The council wants me to go to mediation with my neighbours is there anything I can do?? I've said no the only thing to stop their horrid behaviour is myself putting up cameras and I'm more than happy to keep reporting them to the police. I offered all the police numbers to them

Any time they do these things I just report them to the police

Is there any thing I can do??

OP posts:
JohnofWessex · 04/08/2024 22:22

One thing that Mediation should not do is allow unacceptable behaviour so if what your neighbours are doing is unreasonable or unacceptable then you should NOT be asked to accept it.

Sarahzb · 04/08/2024 22:43

Go to it and say they are impossible to live with

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/08/2024 05:06

I went for mediation once... it turned out to be the perfect set up for my horrific neighbours to show just how impossible they were to deal with... basically gave them the rope necessary to hang themselves with!

I was reluctant but my housing officer explained that they've got to tick various boxes before they can move to booting folk out... and they KNOW that the unreasonable, arsehole people will fuck themselves over in mediation most of the time... but it is obviously a scary prospect for the nice tenants so a lot won't go for it, slowing down the process.

Clarinet1 · 05/08/2024 05:27

I agree with PPs that mediation is part of the process the council have to go through in these cases. Take plenty of evidence with you (dates and times of incidents, photos of damage etc.). Also be prepared for the neighbours to say things about you that are untrue eg that something happened on a date when you were away so jump on that if they do!
However, look on it as a chance for the council to see how unreasonable these people are and, hopefully, a step towards either improving relations with them or getting them moved.

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