Can you help talk sense into me- health anxiety worries

[limom]

I feel like I've been stressing out for weeks now about my health.

I had some stomach pains and convinced myself I had pancreatic cancer or something. I went to see a private specialist because the GP didn't take it very seriously and had an ultrasound and and MRI scan. Ultrasound was fine and now I'm waiting on the results of the MRI. I thought about it every day for about a month with varying degrees of anxiety. My stomach hasn't really been hurting and I think I'm probably ok.

I had to have a blood test for something unrelated, as I take regular medication and it showed I have low folate. I found out yesterday I need supplements, fine. It happens but I am surprised. I've really had to stop myself googling low folate and cancer being linked or a cause.

Then last nigh I was scratching my arm and noticed I have a small lump under the skin on my forearm. Now I'm just stressing out about that. I know I have to get the doc to look at it on Monday and the most likely thing will be that I'll need a scan etc and I just know it's going to drag on and I can't stop thinking that it's something sinister and I won't see my kids grow up.

I just can't deal with this and feel constantly sad and worried. It's been a good 4-5 weeks since I've started to feel like this and I'm just terrified and it's really taking away my enjoyment of life.

How can I help myself deal with this anxiety around my health ? I'm just so afraid I won't see my kids grow up. Thank you.

Anyone

Does anyone have advice on how to handle anxiety while waiting for results etc ?

Ask the GP for medication. Propranolol or antidepressants.

Rather than spend money on private scans and consultations which are only going to increase the anxiety, invest in ERP therapy https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/erp/

This is me & the only thing that helped me get a grip, albeit a loose one, is sertraline. It does not make it go away but I am not so panicky about it.

It's a horrible disorder to have & ppl just brush it off. Book in with your GP & ask for help. In the meantime, remind yourself that cancer is always the least likely outcome of tests - even for ppl put onto the two week pathway with specific symptoms.

If you feel yourself spiralling you have to distract yourself - I find silence is the worst so I've always got a YouTube video playing of something lighthearted or chatty. When you've got that urge to Google (which is all the time!) say out loud 'nope, not googling!'. If I absolutely cannot avoid it I tag my search with 'mumsnet' or 'reddit' so I just see experiences of ppl with whatever ridiculous thing I'm worrying about. It's often very very reassuring.

It's awful, I totally totally understand.

So am I definitely over reacting ?

With love but definitely :)

Stop getting tests.
Stop checking your body and stop Googling.
In order to do this find a therapist that specialises in anxiety that you get on with.
see them regularly and engage with it.
CBT, ACT and Emdr can all be helpful.

1.If you cannot accept that we live life as it comes and just chillax, 2. then turn to your faith if you have a faith, if you cannot do that, 3. See a counsellor

we all get ill and some of us heal, some of us die , even early. These are topics we shouldnt be afraid exploring and I advise you to look at eternal life and other faith issues, now. Might actually help you, rather than deepen your fears.

my husband is like you, even though he badly hides it. His father died of cancer at the age of 50 and this left him scarred. I on the other hand , have been to hospital wards all my life with severe asthmatic issues. I have virtually survived many times. My best friend died of asthma attack on a street in front of her kids. For me these things are just like: so what? This is life. It happens

I am so much used to doctors and hospitals, that I love them, though of course no need to go the other extreme end and become obsessed. Unless I apply for a job in a hospital, which will be good because they always employ.

It’s easy for us who are rational to say “stop worrying.” But I realise that’s just dismissing your concerns.

I’m no medic, but I’d bet the lump on your arm is nothing sinister. Most of us would not be contacting the GP unless we start to get other symptoms or the lump changes in some way.

You definitely need help with your anxiety so would still see the GP, whether that’s medication or therapy.

I was similar to this years ago, would worry so much that something was wrong with me. My GP put me on citalopram (10mg) which is an antidepressant for anxiety and I’ve not looked back. It honestly just levels me out and I don’t obsess over random symptoms anymore. I do feel for you. Please speak to your GP about it.

Look up The Anxiety Guy on YouTube. He overcame crippling health anxiety and his talks and meditations really help. His book was recommended on here and was life changing for me

Realistically your likelihood of having pancreatic cancer at an age where you are young enough to worry about seeing your kids grow up is very very very low. That’s the problem with google, it doesn’t take age and background incidence into account when giving suggestions (or if it does people panic and ignore it).

Small lump under skin in forearm? Much more likely to be ganglion or lipoma, and if small and typical it’s unlikely a GP would even order a scan.

Health anxiety is horrible but (if not settling down) usually responds well to SSRIs eg citalopram / sertraline +/- CBT - you can access that online or via workbooks as well as face to face.

The GP was proved right though - the private specialist charged you money for tests you didn't need and will likely do the same for the insect bite or whatever is on your arm.

Your anxiety has reached the point where you are vulnerable to exploitation and it is affecting your life considerably. Go to the GP for help with anxiety, not the minor lump, spend the money on therapy instead of a specialist.

Thanks everyone.

I just feel overwhelmed by all these cancer stories everywhere and I literally think everything I have- could be cancer. I guess it could be but also it couldn't.

When was your MRI? If it showed anything sinister they would have contacted you very quickly. No news means’s probably nothing has shown up.

Ps there is some speculation that higher rates of bowel cancer at present may be due to the processed western diet which is not fibre rich. Slowing the transit time of faecal matter in the intestines/colon may increase exposure time to potentially carcinogenic substances. Basically my point being by having regular bowel movements by eating adequate fibre and reducing UPF may help in reducing rate of bowel cancer. It is not proven at present but it’s a current theory.

I got the results back from my MRI scan and it's all normal.

I'm really relieved but I am still feeling pretty terrified I'm going to get cancer one day or that I already have it.

I've spent a fortune the last 6 weeks or so on this stuff.

I don't care if I die, I only care about my kids. The thought that I can't be there for them, absolutely kills me and I think about it A LOT.

What's happening to me ? I have gone through periods of this when I was younger but now it's getting worse.

Could it be peri menopause or something like that ? I am 38. My kids are 2 and 4 and they need me so much. I just keep thinking about how I need to stay healthy and vigilant of my health to make sure I can be there for them as they grow up.

Really glad your MRI came back clear! Your next step is to speak to your GP about your mental health :)

I don't think it's uncommon for HA mums to find new depths of worry and panic about their health when they've had children. My friend's is so bad she's said, had she known, she would have reconsidered having her small person. She ADORES him & is a wonderful mum but is terrified of him losing her. It's an unbearable thought if you're wired that way, it's all consuming.

Ring the Dr's on Monday, impress the urgency of needing help on them to get seen ASAP. You absolutely can get a handle on this, get it to the point of being manageable. But first step - GP.

What happened to your best friend must've been terrifying, not being able to breathe. Did you not experience something similar yourself? How do you stay so calm? It is life but we all have an inbuilt survival instinct and fear of death. Are you saying you were scared in the moment but it doesn't affect you long-term? I'm similar to your husband, I have anxiety around health things now from watching family members sick and dying, but I've never had a bad health scare myself (I've been lucky so far) and the thought of being really sick terrifies me.

OP I have all the empathy and the understanding.

I too have health anxiety. All based around the fear of leaving my children.

You need to have CBT.

It's unlikely you will get yourself out of this spiral without it, or if you do, it will only last until the next 'thing'.

I'm having a relapse myself at the moment and it's just god awful.

This!

I suffered terribly for years with health anxiety it's horrible OP. It's very common for mums with young kids to develop this and for me it was centered around the fear of leaving my young children behind.

I stopped drinking alcohol 4 years ago (completely) and I no longer suffer health anxiety. My kids are also older (teens/pre teens) and I'm sure that plays a part. But having a few wines to relax every evening was making my anxiety so so so much worse and going completely sober changed my life and I no longer obsess over illnesses I might have. I was being referred for moles, brain scans, chest x rays, convinced I has MS etc etc etc.

I am now calm, rational and happy. I hope you manage yours OP xx