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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being too precious about baby nap timings at nursery?

61 replies

coffeeandsleep · 02/08/2024 14:42

Would like some advice from those who have transitioned their little ones to nursery.

My toddler will start at 13 months and is currently on 2 naps a day: 9.30-11am and 2-3.30pm (approximately).

The nursery room will have older toddlers who are on just one nap at midday.

They said they can accommodate a morning nap but it would be good if the afternoon nap can take place at 12.30pm and if I can work on this at home.

I’m not sure what they mean…. My baby wakes up at 6.30am ish and then needs a nap every 3-3.5 hrs. She won’t be tired enough after the first nap to just drop off to sleep at 12.30pm so I’m not sure how that’s going to work?

I’m concerned they want my toddler to follow a routine that is not going to suit until she’s ready to drop a nap.

any advice please? Am I being too precious and obsessing a bit too much about naps? This might just be part and parcel of using nurseries? Thanks

OP posts:
Workingtosurvivenotthrive · 02/08/2024 14:45

Id use a different nursery, your baby will need two naps for a good while yet and dropping it early isn't going to be easy or fun for anyone. It's against her natural rhythm. It sounds like a small nursery setting if they are all in together, mine has different rooms and spaces for different ages and run different schedules. That way they tend to have a very similar routine to everyone else and things like toilet training happen on our schedule not theirs.

Ponoka7 · 02/08/2024 14:46

I'd say it's part of going to Nursery. Very quickly the morning nap would get dropped, even at home. Normally they get shorter, so asleep 9.30 wake at 10.30, then make them shorter. More sleep as they grow, isn't necessarily a good thing. It's good that the Nursery aren't just expecting an older baby to still sleep most of the day.

Disastrouspottytraining · 02/08/2024 14:52

This was our situation and we had no option to change nurseries as all the rest of the nurseries around us were absolutely dire. Is your DC going full time? Mine went 3 days per week and ended up dropping the morning nap at nursery but kept the two naps going at home until she was around 18months. We tried to support longer sleep overnight to compensate as well and managed to get her sleeping until 7.30am which helped. I think that it would have been harder to manage if she was FT at nursery as the home / nursery balance is different. In my experience, they very quickly get into the nursery routine and adapt to what the other children are doing.

BarnacleBeasley · 02/08/2024 14:53

My DS started nursery before he was one, and they would put him down for a morning nap, but after a couple of weeks he refused to go to sleep if he knew everyone else was still playing. He'd probably have kept a morning nap for longer if he hadn't been in nursery, but I think nursery was the catalyst that encouraged him to drop it sooner because of his FOMO. Your DD is approaching the age when she's likely to drop a nap anyway, so it may not ending up being a huge problem. And when she drops the morning one, she'll be ready for the afternoon one a bit earlier.

The no afternoon nap thing is probably because they want to be able to take the babies out for little outings in the afternoons and if one baby has to stay in nursery to nap, they wouldn't be able to do it.

Classicstripewastaken · 02/08/2024 14:53

My son was transitioning away from two naps when he started nursery. They aim for a lunchtime nap but quite a few days they'd say he couldn't last and had been for a morning nap. Sometimes it would happen in the pram in their garden but it would see him through then he'd nap again in the afternoon. He has moved towards one nap and has adapted quite well, although doesn't get the same amount of sleep overall as he did on two naps. At the weekend, he still tends to need two naps - a short morning catnap then a long early afternoon nap.

minipie · 02/08/2024 14:56

Try for a first nap 9-9.45 or 9.30-10.15

May then nap at 12.30 and perhaps for 2 hours

Possibly a little nap on the way home too

Yes it’s not ideal having to wake them after 45 min but as pp says they are not going to nap well if they are out of sync with the other babies, plus this routine (short morning nap longer lunch one) works better for transitioning to one nap later on

KnickerlessParsons · 02/08/2024 14:56

I think that if you're going to outsource childcare to a multi child setting (and there's nothing wrong with that - I did too) you're going to have to get used to their routines. They can't possibly tailor nap time for every child.
Your baby will soon get used to the new routine.

2chocolateoranges · 02/08/2024 14:56

I’d say it’s all part of starting nursery, nursery will work with you to some extent but every nursery I e worked in all babies go for a nap after their lunch which is approx 12.30pm.

at 2.30pm most nurseries have their babies out a walk , doing activities or having snack.

id play it by ear, some children’s routines totally change when they start nursery as they are far too nosey to go for a nap while he room is so busy.

coffeeandsleep · 02/08/2024 14:58

Thanks everyone - I was a bit concerned after their comments around the naps. I definitely agree the older babies shouldn’t have to nap in line with my little one, but I hoped they could be flexible so everyone is accommodated. It is a small nursery and I wont have a chance of finding an alternative anytime soon due to waiting lists. I do like the nursery apart from this.

It will be full time at nursery (as i am unable to work part time at this point in time).

OP posts:
Cookiedough123 · 02/08/2024 14:59

My little boy started at 11months and was still on 2 naps a day. I let them manage it however they needed to as he was full time. Just after he turned one he started to drop the morning nap and that was around 6-8 weeks later so he was around 13 months old and I would say he was ready to drop the nap so you might find they drop it anyway.

BarnacleBeasley · 02/08/2024 15:00

Honestly, I would prefer a nursery that gets the babies outside every afternoon to one that sticks rigidly to multiple different nap schedules.

coffeeandsleep · 02/08/2024 15:00

Thanks @minipie those timings might be the way to go.

she’s not far off the age of dropping the nap but it seems to be variable (Google says 13-18 months)

OP posts:
Jewelanemone · 02/08/2024 15:02

When is she starting nursery? Have you got time to gradually adjust her nap pattern?

Tbskejue · 02/08/2024 15:04

I found my DC naturally fell into one nap a day once in childcare; it was about the right age and they didn’t want to miss out on all that was going on when other children weren’t napping.

reluctantbrit · 02/08/2024 15:04

When DD moved to the toddler room she skipped the morning nap there but not at home.

At home she would nap 9-10.30 and 1.30-3pm. No way I would train her at home when she clearly still needed it and had no problem with one routine at nursery and one at home.

I let her decide on her own when to skip naps, she was 17 months when she lost the morning one and did then 2 full hours in the afternoon.

SnapdragonToadflax · 02/08/2024 15:05

How old is she now? 13 months is when they start to drop that nap anyway, and it was a pretty quick transition in my experience. Mine was just 14 months and one day just refused to nap in the morning anymore. (Vivid memories of walking the local streets during Covid.)

Mine started at 11 months and did have that morning nap after a bottle for the first month or so, but after that was more interested in playing and didn't want to nap. We changed our schedule to match theirs as it seemed easiest. Days at home they can catch up on sleep if needed.

Olika · 02/08/2024 15:09

My DD started nursery at 11 months when she still had two naps and I left the nursery to manage her naps. Most of the days she only took one nap there and fell asleep for 15-30min on the way home. Then awake for dinner and bedtime routine and we went to bed once she was ready for night.

3WildOnes · 02/08/2024 15:14

I would look for a different nursery. One of mine was still napping twice a day at 2. Her nursery worked around it fine. I would want a nursery that was child led in regards to sleep and not one size fits all.

VivaVivaa · 02/08/2024 15:17

At DS1’s nursery, they didn’t go into the toddler room until 16-18 months. Partly to allow flexibility around naps - most little ones are still napping twice at 13 months. They had to be on 1 nap to move.

Bearbookagainandagain · 02/08/2024 15:21

They will find their own rythme at nursery, if they need a nap in the morning they will do.
My eldest is a big sleeper too, he dropped his morning nap at nursery around 15 months but continued to have 2 naps at home (sometime 3!) on weekends past 2 year old. Even now at 2.7 he sleeps 3h at home for his afternoon nap but only 1.5h at nursery.

He was very tired and cranky in the evenings for a few months after nursery for a few months, and we moved bed time a bit earlier until it regulated itself a few months later.

Mel2023 · 02/08/2024 15:46

VivaVivaa · 02/08/2024 15:17

At DS1’s nursery, they didn’t go into the toddler room until 16-18 months. Partly to allow flexibility around naps - most little ones are still napping twice at 13 months. They had to be on 1 nap to move.

This was the same with us. At 13 months little one would still be in the baby room, which I found baby room very flexible with naps and followed the child’s routine and understood all the children were different. They didn’t move till the toddler room until 18 months and even that was flexible as to when the staff and us felt DS (2) was ready - there was a few things they had to meet to move. One was dropping down to one midday nap and the other was walking independently. When my DS moved to the toddler room at 18 months they all went down after lunch around 12:30/1 and that was fine as it was his only nap of the day by then. It’s the same at his new preschool.

However, you may find your little one starts to drop their nap anyway OP. Mine DS was about 14 months when he started dropping his.

Butterflies878 · 02/08/2024 15:49

I worried about nursery changing my nap schedule but actually theirs was a lot better than mine (which I didn’t realise beforehand) and her night time sleep really improved, she now wakes up later.
They did a morning nap 9-10 and then afternoon at 12.45/1 when I was doing it later like you. I worried she wouldn’t fall asleep at that time, but she did! You may be pleasantly surprised.

skkyelark · 02/08/2024 16:02

I would also expect a nursery to be flexible about naps for ones that young. Ours has a separate sleep room for those still on two naps, and those on one go down together in the toddler room after lunch. That said, I would be open to trying the suggested timings, as a longer wake window before bed does work well for many children.

coffeeandsleep · 02/08/2024 16:02

Thanks everyone. We’ve got one month to go till she starts nursery.

I have some settling in days prior so will ask a bit more around this subject. I am quite routine led at home so I may just need to let go of the control around this and go more with the flow and see how she adjusts and if she seems like she’s getting enough sleep overall.

OP posts:
coffeeandsleep · 02/08/2024 16:03

Yes I was thinking seperate rooms for those on 2 vs 1 naps would be the situation

OP posts: