Am I being too precious about baby nap timings at nursery?

[coffeeandsleep]

Would like some advice from those who have transitioned their little ones to nursery.

My toddler will start at 13 months and is currently on 2 naps a day: 9.30-11am and 2-3.30pm (approximately).

The nursery room will have older toddlers who are on just one nap at midday.

They said they can accommodate a morning nap but it would be good if the afternoon nap can take place at 12.30pm and if I can work on this at home.

I’m not sure what they mean…. My baby wakes up at 6.30am ish and then needs a nap every 3-3.5 hrs. She won’t be tired enough after the first nap to just drop off to sleep at 12.30pm so I’m not sure how that’s going to work?

I’m concerned they want my toddler to follow a routine that is not going to suit until she’s ready to drop a nap.

any advice please? Am I being too precious and obsessing a bit too much about naps? This might just be part and parcel of using nurseries? Thanks

If it helps, my DC dropped to 1 nap a day just before 14 months

The reality is, you can’t always keep children awake. We have children in reception at school that still fall alseep in the afternoon. We just leave them to sleep while others around them play.

I wouldn't worry about this - honestly. I was religious with nap times at home with both of mine, and yet couldn't control it at nursery and they were both absolutely fine.

They all seem to just follow the schedule there. Babies that can't nap in a cot or without BF to sleep suddenly just do it! It's pretty maddening at times! My kids both could only nap in a pitch black dark room, with white noise in a cot (and still require this now!) - never ever fell asleep in car or pram or anything. At nursery they slept on the floor on a mat - it's crazy.

Your LO will drop the morning nap soon anyway. I helped move the dial on this a bit and capped morning nap to 30mins (9:30-10) so that they were sleepy for a better, fuller nap at 12:45/1ish. This meant nursery post-lunch nap wasn't much different for them.

I think if you chose a childcare setting like that, you have to accept they can’t follow every child’s exact routine. If you want that; you need to use a nanny or child minder where there’s fewer kids.

IME babies tend to go down to one nap at around 14 months. I think you'll find the transition will be easier than you expect.

I wouldn’t worry too much - you baby will get into a nursery routine that may not be exactly the same as the routine at home. And they probably aren’t far off dropping that nap anyway?

Hopefully the earlier afternoon nap will mean they’re good and tired for an early bed time. I know MN wisdom is “sleep begets sleep” but that never worked for my two - they were much better if they hadn’t slept too long in the PM

You can just ignore them and your toddler will nap when he wants. Mine naturally adapted to nursery rhythm on the days they attend.

This. It's part of going to nursery.

A childminder might be able to meet your needs better.

I wouldn’t actively train your child at home to sleep at times convenient for nursery. But I’d just ask nursery to put your child down for a nap when they’re tired. You might find the child sleeps different times at nursery than for you and might sleep in later the next day after a big day at nursery…. Or nap on the way home. They might take bumper naps on weekend days with you to catch up. Either way the child and you will probably adapt.

When my little one started nursery at 13 months, I requested 2 naps and they happily obliged. But she quite quickly started just doing 1 nap at nursery and then just had an early bedtime in the evenings. She didn’t drop to one nap at home until she was about 17 months.

I imagine your toddler will start to transition to one nap if all the others are. I wouldn't stress. You can do differently for a bit longer on your days if you want.

DT’s were six months old when they started nursery. We let the nursery work their magic on naps times - they quickly adapted to the nursery routine.

So she's going into the toddler room at 13 months old?

That's a surprise. I've never worked or ran a nursery where they take toddlers that young. Usually they are in a baby room till the age of 2 as this is when the ratio changes from 1 to 3 to 1 to 4 (or the nursery can choose to do 1 to 5 if they wish under the amended ratios)

I'd recommend looking for a nursery with a seperate baby room.

We are flexible and follow the babies nap schedule. The younger the baby the more they need to choose their times. Older babies do tend to get into a pattern of napping after lunch but that tends to be over 18mths.

@YellowphantGrey shes going into a baby room which goes up to 18 months or so (i need to confirm this). It’s a 1 to 2 ratio there. Then they move up to the next room based on them meeting certain developmental milestones.

It sounds like she will adapt to the nursery routine over time and I can do it ‘my way’ at home

Nurseries and schools are designed for the convenience of the adults who run them, not the children, I'm afraid.

So, yabu for that reason.

They will do as they please and you will just have to go with it. IME, you have no control when you leave DC in their care.

DS was 1 when he started nursery and a dedicated twice a day napper. Nursery claimed they’d offer a morning nap but he just wouldn’t/couldn’t do it when it wasn’t part of the core routine. He very quickly adjusted to one nap at nursery and carried on napping twice a day at home until he naturally dropped it about three months later.

Don't try and change things now, either the nap time or the nursery. And I know this is going to sound patronising and I really don't mean it - but don't worry, it will work itself out. Toddlers change so much and so fast, this could be a complete non issue in 4 weeks.

DD dropped morning and afternoon naps by the time she was 16 months, and guess what, the nursery coped just fine (me not so much). The main problem I had was bringing her home in the car - 10 min journey and she'd be out like a light at 5.30pm!

So she should still be sleeping in that room and should be allowed to sleep.

How old is she now? It could be that by the time she hits 13 months, her sleep pattern adjusts anyway.

Often parents say they are happy for their child to follow the lead of the nursery in terms of sleep and in baby rooms they really should be allowing the sleeps the baby needs. Often the babies and toddlers fall into this routine anyway.

As they move through into the toddler room, the majority of 18 months and upwards are only on one sleep anyway and this is often after lunch.

I don't doubt for one minute someone will be on here saying nurseries are the work of the devil and force sleeps to suit them but amy good or outstanding nursery won't do that.

Believe it or not, the vast majority of us who work in the early years actually love our jobs!

Good to hear everyone’s experiences- I will try to go with the flow.

@YellowphantGrey yes this nursery is rated Outstanding by Ofsted and people say they’ve had a great experience there so I’ll put my trust in them. Yes I’m surprised no one has said yet nurseries are the work of the devil 😂

They don’t do as they please but the nursery professionals will be looking after a number of children and have a tried and tested routine.

Our nursery has individual routines followed in the baby room which is up until 12/14 months. In the toddler room they will still allow a morning nap but afternoon nap is at the same time for everyone. This is just part of using a nursery and starting them in the toddler not baby room

I always thought it was just part of nursery and never really questioned it tbh. My little one started nursery at 13 months too and we had to get on board with the one nap a day situation. He was gozzy with tiredness when he came home but we’d just do tea, bath and bed by about 6pm to accommodate for it. Hes been there 6 months now and it’s his normal routine even when not in nursery.