Plane seat drama

[itstoohotnow]

Just returned from a European break, booked 4 plane tickets for DH and 2 DS (19 &16) and I, eldest DS decided too old to go away with mum and dad so stayed at home. I contacted the airline as cheap non refundable ticket but said I can use it as a spare seat between DH and I so all good.

On return flight, only 2 hours long and we have seats A (me) B (spare) C (DH) and D (DS) then a couple with a baby in E & F

Couple with baby realised we were together and pretty much demanded DS moved to seat B - I politely pointed out it wasn't a random spare seat but a booked and paid for one, now I have 2 kids so appreciate it's hard to travel with a little one and would have offered the seat but they were so bloody rude and entitled. I pointed out we had paid for 4 seats and they had only paid for 2 - so asked for a contribution towards cost £30 (by this point they are just demanding the seat because they have a child)

They got pretty rude and offensive (called me a fat b**ch) so I said no, stewardess said was up to me

Should I have given them the seat?

I’m surprised you saw that there was 3 of them and you didn’t offer them the seat you weren’t using in the first place.

They didn’t want the seat Op and her family weren’t using though. They wanted the aisle seat next to them, which was being used by OP’s son, and the son preferred it.

When my kids were young I taught them that if they asked for something in a rude way, or with a tantrum, they automatically didn’t get the thing, even if I had been planning to say yes before.
They learnt by about 3 or 4 that polite asking was the only way, so I would have said the same to these CFs “I would have said yes, but now you have been so rude, the answer is no”

I actually think that with children that’s quite cruel, unless you’re forgetting to say they could get back to the original position if they apologised.

Well, they seem to have turned out fine and they know to ask nicely for things and not be an entitled asshole, like this person on the plane 😁

Nothing cruel about teaching manners.

Cruel? Teaching children manners is cruel?

Saying “aaaah you could have had that but now you can’t” is cruel, yes. It doesn’t teach kids anything useful.

If you did it to ND kids in particular you’d cause a lot of damage if you did that.

With NT kids, I’m sure it’s ok as long as they can get back to square one by asking nicely and apologising, as I said, but not if you just said “ah ha, now you can never have it”. It just floors me anyone can think that’s ok.

And yes my kids are lovely and polite before you think it’s clever to suggest they’re wouldn’t be.

It teaches them something very useful - ask nicely and you might get the thing you ask for. Ask rudely or tantrum and you don’t get what you want. It’s not deep, it’s blindingly obvious.
I didn’t want to raise whiny entitled kids, so I took steps to ensure they wouldn’t be. It’s utterly bizarre to think normal parenting with rules and expectations is cruel.

The conversation (with a 2/3 year old) might go like this;
”mummy I want an ice cream”
”is there a more polite way to ask, using your please and thank you?”
”NO, I WANT ICE CREAM”
”That isn’t a polite way to ask - if you can ask nicely, you can have one, if you ask like this, you can’t”

And then the next time
”mummy I want an ice cream”
”do you remember how to ask nicely for one?”
“Mummy please can I have an ice cream”
”absolutely”

This is just normal parenting surely?

This is just normal parenting surely?

Apparently not! I do think that people with good manners are increasingly in the minority.

That was how my Mum was with me. One of her sayings was 'I want doesn't get'

Not cheeky at all. By refusing to pay, they show that they expect to get something for nothing, something that someone else paid for. It’s entitled and rude. If they wanted an extra seat, they could have paid for one when booking, but no, they hope that they can guilt trip someone else into giving them a freebie. The people who paid for it could use it and it gave extra elbow room too, so why should they move into the empty seat in the middle, squish together, and hand over the seat they paid for for their son, for free.

Absolutely not.