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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Plane seat drama

387 replies

itstoohotnow · 02/08/2024 12:29

Just returned from a European break, booked 4 plane tickets for DH and 2 DS (19 &16) and I, eldest DS decided too old to go away with mum and dad so stayed at home. I contacted the airline as cheap non refundable ticket but said I can use it as a spare seat between DH and I so all good.

On return flight, only 2 hours long and we have seats A (me) B (spare) C (DH) and D (DS) then a couple with a baby in E & F

Couple with baby realised we were together and pretty much demanded DS moved to seat B - I politely pointed out it wasn't a random spare seat but a booked and paid for one, now I have 2 kids so appreciate it's hard to travel with a little one and would have offered the seat but they were so bloody rude and entitled. I pointed out we had paid for 4 seats and they had only paid for 2 - so asked for a contribution towards cost £30 (by this point they are just demanding the seat because they have a child)

They got pretty rude and offensive (called me a fat b**ch) so I said no, stewardess said was up to me

Should I have given them the seat?

OP posts:
PaperbackWrighter · 07/08/2024 16:34

TheMerryTiger · 03/08/2024 21:04

Why wouldn't the three of you want to sit together? I think that's odd. There's very little to be gained from having an empty space between you - it's more the leg room that's the problem. (Unless of course you are a fat b**ch). I would always be kind to parents with infants.

But not to people who post on mumsnet it would seem!

The benefit of having a middle seat free (which OP paid for after all) is most people don't like to sit in the middle as it's the worst seat. OP got a window seat, DS and DH got aisle seats. No mystery there. People with young child assumed they were entitled to one of the aisle seats but without troubling to be polite about it. Were denied. No mystery there either!

PaperbackWrighter · 07/08/2024 16:37

Despair1 · 07/08/2024 16:32

You should have given them the seat; in their view, it was unoccupied and they had a child. As a parent, you will appreciate the challenges of travelling on planes with young children. The couple assumed that the seat was spare and asked if your son could move over to accommodate their young child. I am unsure of your response other than charging them £30 for it's use. That makes me think that your communication was less than perfect. You shouldn't have been called what you were called but the couple were perfectly reasonable to ask for your son to move. Had you considered offering your son to move and allow them the adjoining seat to accommodate their child? That would have been the best option. I have just got off a plane this afternoon and offered to help with the luggage of a couple with a young child, pushchair etc etc

You are a hero.

PaperbackWrighter · 07/08/2024 16:38

Herculesthescot · 07/08/2024 16:32

The grammar posts are utterly boring!

Oh God, absolutely agree. Why come on a public forum and correct people's grammar? Unless it was a writers' forum and even then!!

LuluBlakey1 · 07/08/2024 16:40

No. They should have been removed from the plane because of their rudeness.

6gallonsaday · 07/08/2024 16:44

No, you paid for the seat, they didn't. Your seat unless they pay you for it.

Them being rude just the icing on the cake.

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 17:00

No. They want a seat, they pay for one.
They could have asked nicely if the seat was free, and then you might have offered it. But they didn't, so no. You were under no obligation to let them use it.

Nettie1964 · 07/08/2024 17:06

lolly792 · 02/08/2024 12:51

Absolutely would not have given up my seat, so you're totally in the right there.

BUT ... 'a spare seat between DH and I' ?????!!!

It's 'between DH and me'

Im honestly not normally pedantic about grammar but this just sounds so awful that I can't let it go!

You are wrong.

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 17:09

PoppyTries · 03/08/2024 19:50

Absolutely not. I have been hearing more and more stories about entitled plane passengers and people need to stop capitulating to them or it will just continue to get worse.

I was flying in the US and I had recently had shoulder surgery, so I spent extra money to buy a roomier window seat so that my bad shoulder would be against the window and not in danger of being bumped by anyone. It was a 2-4-2 configuration across the plane, so I only had the aisle seat next to me. The woman who sat next to me demanded, not asked, demanded that I trade my premium economy seat with her boyfriend’s regular economy middle seat a few rows back. I said no and I first thought she was joking because who would ask this if someone? She became irate, berating me, telling me I was selfish, all kinds of nasty things. She wanted the flight attendant to make me move.

The flight attendant actually had the nerve to ask me if I would move to appease her and I said that I would not be moving from my specifically-selected premium seat, that this woman was obviously aggressive and I wanted her moved because I had no idea what she’d do once we were in flight, and, if she desperately needed to sit next to her boyfriend, she should have paid extra to book 2 seats together, or ask one of her boyfriend’s neighbors in regular economy if they would be willing to move to an aisle seat in premium economy. The gentleman sitting next to the boyfriend piped up and said that he would be happy to switch so they could sit together. She started throwing a tantrum because she wanted to sit with her boyfriend in the premium seats and the flight attendant finally had to tell her that, based on her behavior, she needed to switch, otherwise she’d be escorted off the plane because they weren’t going to let her sit next to me.

I do not understand these people who ask for a favor, and refuse to take no for an answer, especially when they’re expecting you to take the lesser option.

Sounds like they had a wheeze going to upgrade the boyfriend to a better seat. Glad you stuck to your guns, and glad the staff supported you.

Angrymum22 · 07/08/2024 17:09

I would have politely explained that I purchased the extra seat for medical reasons. Which in DH’s and my case would be true. They could huff and puff all they like but if they’d wanted more room they should have paid for an extra seat.

Despair1 · 07/08/2024 17:09

PaperbackWrighter · 07/08/2024 16:37

You are a hero.

Show quote history

Am definitely not! People have done the same for me, I'm a pretty average human being😄

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 17:11

AmandaHoldensLips · 02/08/2024 17:17

Reminds me of the mother who created merry hell on my flight back from majorca demanding that she wanted the front row seats for her and her son because of [insert random reasons here]. Kicked off and despite causing the flight to be delayed by 2 hours (after missing our slot) was not removed from the plane. In the meantime the front row passengers had thrown in the towel and given over their paid-for seats.

The staff ought not to have allowed the front seat passengers to be bullied in that way, nor should the plane have been delayed. The CFs should have been told to sit in their allocated seats immediately and shut up, or be removed from the plane and have their tickets ripped up.

BlueMongoose · 07/08/2024 17:14

shuffleofftobuffalo · 02/08/2024 18:21

Im so glad you stood your ground OP, they sound vile. This sort of thing seems to be more and more common these days.

On the last few flights I've been on (all easyJet I think) there has been a "sit in your allocated seat and shut up" type announcement during boarding and everyone did, no drama on any flight, only changes were made because unsuitable/unwilling people were in the exit rows. And then it was the one person who was changed not the whole party if they were sitting together. All very sensible.

One of the flights was pretty empty and the announcement was sit in your allocated seat, no changing, need bums on those seats to balance the plane.

Yep- balance is more important then people realise.

Osco · 07/08/2024 17:21

What happens when you book 2 seats from a check- in perspective? Do you have to check in for both to be able to make use of both on the plane?
In the OP’s case, was the spare 4th seat checked in? I thought that if someone doesn’t turn up for their flight by the designated check in time then the seat returns to the airline and can be used for standby travellers. This makes me question whether a seat that has been paid for but not checked in still belongs to whoever paid for it. Any ideas?

lazzapazza · 07/08/2024 17:32

If they did indeed demand then No.

If they were very polite about it I would probably have said yes.

notimagain · 07/08/2024 17:39

This will be one of those airline specific things…but as far as this case goes in a previous post the OP stated:

””I had contacted easyJet about keeping the seat so we had more space, they agreed this was fine but we could not take 4 carry on bags only 3 and I had followed their instructions on how to let gate staff know etc”

“I thought that if someone doesn’t turn up for their flight by the designated check in time then the seat returns to the airline and can be used for standby travellers.”

Depends on the airline, airport and what you define as “turn up” ..lots of the on-line check in passengers with hand baggage only don’t turn up until a few minutes prior to doors closed….you can’t start giving their seats away at STD -45 or whatever.

3CustardCreams · 07/08/2024 17:40

You paid for the seat. It’s yours. No discussion.

GrumpyPanda · 07/08/2024 17:44

Even if you hadn't paid for the seat, they wanted your DC to swap from aisle to middle seat. That would be a hard no from me.

notimagain · 07/08/2024 17:51

@Osco

BTW you mentioned stand-by passengers…Where I worked we didn’t allow commercial passengers to travel on a standby basis (not sure how much goes on in Europe, I think it’s more common in the US), our only stand-bys were staff travelling for leisure purposes.

Maelil01 · 07/08/2024 19:05

northernballer · 02/08/2024 16:25

Is it? I would have said I or me and thought either would do ,and it certainly didn't leap out as horrendous grammar.

At least it wasn't between DH and myself :-)

Show quote history

It is every bit as horrendous as the awful “myself”!

VTown · 07/08/2024 19:13

Lavenderblue11 · 07/08/2024 14:14

I would say that 'DH and I' sounds correct in this case...

Show quote history

It's not. When you use a preposition like "between," you must use an objective pronoun after it. "Me" is an objective pronoun; "I" is a subjective pronoun. "Between DH and me" is correct. You don't go by what "sounds correct." You go by the basic rules of grammar.

ShellSeaSand · 07/08/2024 19:52

Nettie1964 · 07/08/2024 17:06

You are wrong.

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Oh dear.

amicissimma · 07/08/2024 19:57

Nettie1964 · 07/08/2024 17:06

You are wrong.

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lolly792 is correct.

Don't they teach this stuff at school? It would save some poor long-suffering posters the pain of a grammar discussion if they did.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 07/08/2024 20:17

amicissimma · 07/08/2024 19:57

lolly792 is correct.

Don't they teach this stuff at school? It would save some poor long-suffering posters the pain of a grammar discussion if they did.

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Actually, if the grammar bores controlled themselves and back-spaced out of the thread or simply refrained from comment then we would all have been spared this unnecessary 'lesson' and derail of the thread.

But they cannot. Self-restraint is a valuable and much under-used skill.

===
Back to the OP. You were definitely not being unreasonable, I'm glad that you didn't give up your paid-for aisle seat to the odious couple.

Maelil01 · 07/08/2024 20:29

Lavenderblue11 · 07/08/2024 14:14

I would say that 'DH and I' sounds correct in this case...

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It’s completely incorrect.

If in doubt about me and I the easiest way to check is to take the other person/persons out of the sentence.

Maelil01 · 07/08/2024 20:34

WestminsterWanderer · 07/08/2024 14:50

If the person for whom the seat was booked then the seat reverts to the airline. They could have put someone in standby in it.

If you want a 2nd seat them some airlines allow you to specifically book this but it can be more expensive than just booking 2 seats with the 2nd in a different name (even allowing for APD). But just booking and then the person not turning up doesn't make it you seat-it makes it an empty seat on the inventory.

Edited

“If the person for who the seat was booked then the seat reverts…”

🤷‍♀️

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