To worry nursery will report to social services?

[hap10]

And if so will they tell us they’ve done it?

at the weekend we strapped ds into his pram which hadn’t been used in almost a year. He went straight to sleep in it (he’s nearly two). It was hot. Anyway when we got him out we realised the straps had been tight around his hips and there were two red marks especially on each bone hip. I didn’t think more of it as the redness faded fast and he didn’t seem bothered. But tonight I collected him from nursery and when changing him when home I noticed two small ish but obvious gold coloured bruises on each of his hips that you can see when changing his nappy. I don’t know whether to raise this with the nursery so they know but then again i feel like it makes me sound crazy to bring it up now when it actually happened on Saturday but the bruise is only just there? I am really anxious about it all.

I'm sorry you feel so anxious OP. I expect the threshold for SS is much higher that what you've described and that the nursery would react to ongoing patterns that might suggest abuse or neglect rather than a one off bruising on a healthy and happy child.

@Evaka thanks. I was really shocked when I saw the bruises tonight and it’s all I can think about!

I really wouldn't worry.
My child's nursery make me sign an accident form every time they spot a new bruise, bump, spot, rash or scratch (and it's often, he is 2!), but it's recorded for safe guarding purposes. I'm not concerned that they log every single mark or change on his body. It's all very innocent and easily explained. Things happen, accidents happen. It's normal.
I'm sure they would have questioned you if they were concerned, before going to the most extreme resort of reporting you.

just let the nursery know what has happened when you drop him off at nursery. A bruise that has a reasonable explanation will be fine with them.

My child is constantly covered in bruises and we have never been reported to social services.

Yes this! Just mention it at drop off. It will be fine. I am the same though and would worry, but there really is no need. They'd be reporting every child to social services for every bump and bruise otherwise!!

Don't worry about social services. As others have said, they are looking for patterns and not one-offs.

I would however be a bit concerned that they didn't mention the bruises to you. Usually any injuries noticed need to be brought up with the parents and a parent needs to sign something to say they acknowledge the injury wasn't acquired in nursery. That's been my experience anyway.

I work in a nursery. If I queried every bruise on toddlers, I'd be there all day! 🤣 If in an unusual place or very obvious I'd ask the parents about it and record it but it'd have to be fairly major to report it to SS and usually one of multiple concerns. Mention it to the staff if you remember but definitely don't stress over it. 🙂

I wouldn’t worry, and yes they should inform you if they’re making a referral.

Mention it if you feel you need to, but honestly I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Once they start toddling they pick up new bruises everyday. I remember being worried what nursery would think.
They can tell the difference between normal everyday, adventurous bruises and something of concern.
SS won't be interested and even if they were, you just explain as you've done nothing abusive.

I'm amazed they didn't contact you about it today

How did you not notice if was tight when you strapped him in? If it was tight enough to bruise him, was it not difficult to strap him in?

I was reported to SS by nursery when DS was a baby due to them noticing a mark on his genitals. They said that because of where it was they had no choice.

I was very upset but it was fine. A lady from SS came to visit my flat, saw that everything was fine, I also took DS to a doctor who confirmed the "mark" was a vein. That was the end of it.

They probably won't report this but I just wanted to ease your worries in case they do.

If they were concerned they would phone you an asked you what happened. we have forms that need filling in if a child comes into nursery with bump bruise etc.

And they would tell you they have reported you.

@CC222 thanks it’s the fact they’ve not said that’s made me wonder if they’ve just gone straight to social services. Thanks for replying x

@MidnightPatrol its the area though, one on each hip

@Sausagedog101 thanks, it’s the place that is worrying me. It’s literally one on each hip and not in an obvious place you’d bruise yourself like legs etc

@Beezknees thanks, so did they ask you about it first? And then they were totally open and said they’d report it? I think it’s the not knowing that’s making me most worried

@AlwaysGinPlease you sound lovely. Maybe literally always on the gin.

@Backto03 he was struggling and trying to climb out and we were on a walk but he didn’t want to walk, didn’t want to be carried, was over tired. Dp held him in place and I clicked it in and he calmed down and I guess we just didn’t notice how tight it was.

That sounds horrible

Are you ok? Was this sarcasm?!

@summerdazey yes when I got home that was what made me worry as it seemed so obvious to me (and wasn’t there this morning). My first thought was it had happened at nursery and I panicked but then remembered his red marks from Saturday