To be bullied into making a PIP application by EXH when I don't think I'm eligible?.

[Wishitwasstraightforward]

I have a formal diagnosis of ADHD, chronic migraine and episodic cluster headaches. These conditions are all pretty disabling, especially cluster headaches as the pain is utterly excruciating and I can barely move.

I have never claimed PIP. I have looked into it and don’t consider that I am eligible- mainly because although I am often unwell, I can perform the types of tasks listed on the PIP criteria (using the toilet, feeding myself, communicating, getting dressed etc). The exception to this is during a cluster headache when I can’t do anything. However, a key criteria of PIP as I understand it, is that your conditions need to affect you 50% of the time. The truth is I am not incapacitated by cluster headaches 50% of the time. They tend to last 1-1.5 hours, are most often between 11pm and 5am and although they are unbearable I do function inbetween them albeit feeling tired, scared and battered. If I get one in the day, I can’t do anything until it’s over- I have an injectable painkiller and portable oxygen and if I get them into me in time I can feel well enough to carry on within 40 minutes, but if not it may be 2 hours before I am ok.

My husband left me 18 months ago. It was sudden and unexpected. He left our house and moved into a house that we had previously rented to tenants. We are getting divorced.

As part of the divorce, I am understandably required to maximise my earnings and also claim any benefits that I’m entitled to- this is so I can show that I am doing all I can to support myself before looking to EXH for a financial settlement.

I am self employed and am working very hard despite my health conditions to earn a salary that is bit more than a minimum wage full time job. I manage this by having a job that is entirely flexible, so I can work around migraines and clusters. My job also doesn’t involve coming into contact with any migraine or cluster triggers. I’ve been given help from the HMRC Access To Work Scheme which provides some practical help with admin so I can avoid using a PC (migraine trigger), and other things that help me to work.

The divorce process has been brutal. EXH has taken every opportunity to be difficult and adversarial. I’m exhausted by it. He has a great deal of money, assets, earns a massive salary etc etc.. I am not asking for much at all IMO.

The whole process is horrible and complicated and we have been to court once, with another date set for December of we can’t agree.

He is insisting that I have not given an adequate explanation for not applying for PIP (I sent a copy of the criteria and said I did not meet them 50% of time). He’s raised a schedule of deficiency for the court saying that if I am too unwell to earn more money, then I should get PIP. My understanding of PIP is that it’s nothing to do with how much you can earn, and everything to do with whether you live independently. I’m baffled as to why his solicitor is pushing this point given she is an expert in family law and surely should know how PIP works?

I know many people incorrectly assume PIP is for people who can't work at all, or much due to their health. But my understanding is that's not the case.....

They will not listen to reason. I’m wondering if it would be easier to just apply for PIP- despite being sure I’m not eligible. But it just feels dishonest and unnecessary. I would absolutely be truthful if I claimed and so presumably I’d then get turned down and EXH will use this fact to claim that as PIP has rejected me I am not significantly affected by my health and should both get a different job earning more money, and also not be looking to him for a settlement that takes my health into account.

My solicitor isn’t much help, I have been trying to get advice from citizens advice for weeks but with no joy.

Can anyone offer any thoughts, advice or perspectives please- AIBU to consider applying despite not being eligible?

I'm sorry that this happened to you @ZebraD. This is exactly what I am worried about.

Thank you @TigerRag- I know what my triggers are more or less. I more meant that it would be helpful for me to have a more objective idea of how life is affected and the adaptations that I've made which maybe I am so used to that I barely register them as adaptations.

Why don't you apply? If you're not eligible you will have proof, if you are eligible you will have a non means tested benefit..

Its a paper based form or if filling in the form is an issue thete are usually local voluntary groups or benefits advisors that can help..

This is a much simpler for this than asking solicitors who will not have a clue about benefits usually..

I don’t know if there are any specific resources. The Migraine Trust is great for generally understanding the condition and how it impacts you.

When I filled out my form I did it over a couple of days and just tried to be aware of every time I made adjustments to accommodate the condition. If it was something I usually did, I put it in. Then I filled out the numbers bit at the end once I’d read over all the comments. It’s eye-opening TBH.

There is an organisation called Benefits and Work www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/ who would be able to help you with this issue around claiming PIP. I found OUCH very helpful with describing your needs with cluster headaches and PIP.

Awww I sorry if I sound like I am causing any anxiety, I am honestly trying to prepare you for what I was not prepared for.
try and apply for the pip. At least you have tried. It takes around 12-16 weeks I think currently.

You need to show that you are taking at least the minimum steps to provide for yourself. File the application ASAP. If you don't qualify then that's it you at least made the attempt.

Did you say how long you were married for? If not that long then he's benifited massively from the money you put into the deposit on the marital home. You could argue you should get more out of the split as you put more in and have less earning potential than him. If it's a longer marriage that argument isn't as strong.

My ex moved into the house I already owned. Two children and 15 months later we split up. Financially I could show he contributed nothing to the mortgage or house. I did have two children that were his but I got to keep my house. But he didn't fight me for long once he saw what solicitors cost. The fucking idiot thought he would get half the value of the house not half the equity and once he realised that and realised I wouldn't be forced to sell until children adult he gave up. Had the marriage been longer even though it was all my money he would have got half. So the length of the marriage is very relavant. Also did you house and support your children before him- you need to be left with the means to do this again if so.

I do écho à pp get a barrister. My experience of family court judge was misogynistic camaraderie between the old male judge and exs male barrister. I had a female barrister and even she was spoken down to like some little woman. I hate to encourage discrimination against my own sex but if I faced that again I would get a male barrister if my financial future depends on it I would not risk another sexist judge.

Apply anyway.

If you don't get it you have proof you applied.

If you do get it I don't think it is counted as 'income' by courts. It is for benefits, student loans, anything else I can think of.

I wouldn't apply, it's a long form, with a long wait time & your right, your very unlikely to get anything from it.

I would get your legal team to remind him most people with health issues don't receive PIP. You can have a disability that impacts your & not qualify for PIP, a quick Google can give you the numbers.

As you have stated you can work & receive PIP, ESA is usually award in place of working, or being unable to work full times hours due to health issues.

I don't think you'll qualify for PIP. I have chronic migraines and a few other conditions and although they are debilitating and affect me daily, they don't affect me significantly enough that I can't push through for more than 50% of the time, so I don't qualify.

Your EXH can't make you apply and if you are working you're doing enough. He's just threatening you.

There are murmurs of the Access to Work scheme being changed to include looking at whether people claim PIP and if they do asking them to use some of their PIP entitlement towards items that Access to Work would have funded.

Can you not negotiate this? Are you required to sell the marital home? If not does he have claim on it? If not then I don't see what the issue is as you are not worse off than before you married. If you drop the claim about health then you can try and fight for PIP later but it's taken out of the equation.

The vast majority of people are refused PIP first time and a lot of people have to reapply and go to tribunal to get it.