To hate family holidays?

[Straitjacketsandroses]

I don’t get them. City breaks - love; short UK breaks - love, but any longer than that and it’s just same shit less conveniences around you.

We’re currently on a week-long UK break with my in laws and I’ve abandoned my husband and kids to come back to our (average, not as clean as my house) air b&b because the thought of another walk makes me want to scream. We’ll spend the day walking aimlessly to find the best spot for some squashed sandwiches and warm apple juice before coming home to sit uncomfortably round a kitchen table whilst my FIL watches EVERY soap back to back. And we’re haemorrhaging money on ice creams and pub lunches and fish and chips. It’s all just so expensive and dull. Take me home!

Anyone else feel like this or am I a one off? I feel the same abroad too if we go anywhere for more than 3-4 nights!

That would do my head in too. Can’t you ditch the kids with the in laws and have a night out? Shake it up a bit?

I love our family holidays but I think it's because we choose places where there are more things to do as a family than when we're at home so enjoy the time we spend together. I'm not a particularly domestic person - I can imagine holiday accommodation can feel unpleasant if you have very high standards of cleanliness at home.

Also, I would not enjoy any holiday with my in-laws, nice as they are!

If the expense is bothering you can you eat in more. Just stuff that you can heat in the oven? The weather is good at least so can you research more to do in the area?

That holidays sounds awful. I think you’re just doing the wrong kind if family holidays.

Sounds very boring . I am with you on this. Some shit different setting . On holiday I want an experience like a visit to a beautiful city or a beach holiday for some sun and sea . And deffo not with Inlaws . And for the same price probably could have rented a villa with a pool. And English TV channels.

I agree.

Do you have any control over what you actually do, @Straitjacketsandroses ? Can you make suggestions?

If you think it's dull, what would you do, given a free itinerary for the day in a 10 mile radius of the area?

It's easy to criticise. It takes more effort to come up with a solution.

YABU.

We tried this (and my in laws happily obliged - they’re fabulous grandparents) and we had a lovely pub tea - but then it was back to the same old stuff (sitting around with the TV blaring; I ended up taking a glass of wine and my book to bed). The issue there is our kids are old enough for us to enjoy a pub tea with them so it isn’t kid-free time I’m craving particularly; I think it’s down time away from my in laws and their incessant TV watching and love of aimless, muddy, destinationless rambling 🤣

Our family holidays are amazing, we live for them. Sorry to say but yours sound awful.

Ditch the in laws for a start 😆

I’ve learnt my lesson this year…. no more holidays with the in laws, as trying to have a day out with three kids under 6 is enough without throwing two 70 year olds in the mix who want to be with us 24/7 😬

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable because that sounds miserable and boring!

Family holidays are what you make them - you need to find somewhere interesting you actually want to go, with plenty for everyone to do, and plan better food than squashes sandwiches!

Yes, I always feel like there are so many hours to fill. It’s very intense, with 3 proper sit down meals together every day for a week. It’s great in some ways, but I’m definitely done in by the end of it.

Let your in-laws go for walks if that's what they like while you take the kids for a day out somewhere else. Are there any parks, beaches, attractions nearby?

Those of you who have amazing family holidays - tell me why!!

We take our kids to a lovely European city most years and we all adore it. We have a fabulous time. We have done trips in this country just the four of us and had a wonderful time.

I think it’s being with my in laws. They’re lovely but they don’t do food, so days are typically walking or exploring muddy wild places - which I enjoy but occasionally and always preceding a pub lunch. Evenings for the four of us would be a meal out or pizza in with games and wine and maybe a late walk. We haven’t really done that here as they don’t do meals, so will choose to cook some pasta, drink coffees and watch the soaps. And there isn’t enough space for us to do our evenings too

I'd never holiday with ILs, it's my idea of hell and life is just too short for forcing a happy cohabitation when you have different ideas of enjoyment of an evening. Meanwhile, how about saying to FIL 'you've had your soaps, my turn now!' As you take the remote and switch over. Do it with a big smile and laugh and settle down to something more interesting. He probably doesn't want to be there either and just doing it to keep your MIL happy.

Your comment about the average air b&b struck a chord . A friend of mine once said ‘ never go on holiday to a place that isn’t as nice as your own home.’ That’s true isn’t it, you want it to be over and above so you feel happy to be there. I’m with you OP, add in the In Laws as well and it’s a definite no!

I used to find with older ones that a week in London, even, was more fun for everyone than a traditional country or beach holiday.

Ditch the inlaws. Or do your own thing for evening meals and let them do their thing. It sounds like hell.

This hits the nail on the head. My comment above about not wanting to spend money related to this; my own home is lovely - we’re within walking distance of pubs, restaurants and parks and we have a lovely garden. If I’m gonna spend £100 a day I’d rather it was at home because the food is better than the average pubs here 🤣 We have more space too so the kids can chill, we can chill, and when we want to spend time together we can. And no in-laws 😩🤣

I really find that this is a problem as you get older, it's so difficult (expensive) to find accommodation that's nicer than your own home, so everything can feel a bit rubbish!

I love my family holidays and always have done.

I think your issue relates to PILS ☹️

You're doing it wrong.. I love holidays, but an Airbnb in the UK with my inlaws?? I'd rather be at work 😱

I feel so guilty on my husband too but I’ve hit the point where I cannot socialise today. He’s so good at planning holidays and has the added pressure of a few serious health issues from my in laws which mean I think he’s worried this holiday could be the last and wants them to enjoy it. They are (they told my BIL they’re having an amazing time) and so they should; they’re great people. Except all that makes me feel even worse for hitting the point of being entirely unable to force myself on another pointless walk or through another conversation. So I can’t tell my FIL to turn the TV off or force them out somewhere else as really it’s about them having a good time i guess.

My younger boy (8) is being pretty difficult at times and i think he probably feels the same as I do but can’t rationalise it. My poor husband ends up trying to please everyone and that makes me feel even worse!

Can’t you take DS out somewhere just the two of you?

So we’re in a tiny village with no phone reception. Our car is parked up a huge hill away from our accommodation and I would have to drive a mile or so to get enough reception for Google Maps. I’m a confident driver but have awful sense of direction so being ‘off grid’ really puts me off. There’s nowhere within the village to go particularly!

I think at this point I’d feign illness (lots of covid going around) and head home. Crap food and accommodation is not a holiday. Just think of your lovely bed waiting for you 😂

It made me laugh your comment about the Airbnb. We just stayed in one for about £100 a night that was smaller and less comfy and not as clean as my own house. I'd rather stay in a hotel to at least get my bed made every day!