To hate family holidays?

[Straitjacketsandroses]

I don’t get them. City breaks - love; short UK breaks - love, but any longer than that and it’s just same shit less conveniences around you.

We’re currently on a week-long UK break with my in laws and I’ve abandoned my husband and kids to come back to our (average, not as clean as my house) air b&b because the thought of another walk makes me want to scream. We’ll spend the day walking aimlessly to find the best spot for some squashed sandwiches and warm apple juice before coming home to sit uncomfortably round a kitchen table whilst my FIL watches EVERY soap back to back. And we’re haemorrhaging money on ice creams and pub lunches and fish and chips. It’s all just so expensive and dull. Take me home!

Anyone else feel like this or am I a one off? I feel the same abroad too if we go anywhere for more than 3-4 nights!

Echoing other posters, your problem is that you’re going away with your in-laws! I’d much rather have no holiday at all than go with my in-laws.
And yes to only booking a holiday home that’s nicer than your actual home. We’re currently in a place that has loads of space, beautiful views and a games room with a pool table for our teenage DCs to play on. It was really expensive, but it feels like a holiday! Why spend money on something that makes you stressed and miserable?

omg this is exactly how I feel. I love my house so I only rent places that are as nice or nicer - otherwise what is the point. We booked 2 trips away this year and each time I spent a bit extra to find a nice house right on the water.

Op, where you are sounds awful tbh. Can't you, dh and your kids go out some evening the 4 of you for dinner or find an activity your inlaws can't/won't do (ziplining or whatever) and do that for a few hours.

I would hate to holiday with my in laws (or my own family - or indeed any family!) and I love them.

I do holidays with DH and DS only. DS and DH and I all like the same kind of holidays so it works. I've tried group family holidays and there's always one who expects you to do what they want all the time or they are impossible to compromise with. At a push, I might do a girlie weekend but that's the most I'd do.

And I refuse to do self catering. I do all the cooking at home so if everyone else is away from their daily grind, I want for me too!

But surely you go on days out eg, zoo, beach, theme park, national trust property, water park, children's farm, bowling, caving, etc etc. I have never been on a UK holiday what consisted of walks and squash.

If it's only a week and it isn't every single year then just suck it up. You say they are wonderful grandparents and presumably not unpleasant people and it pleases your DH to offer them kindness. I also think it does children good to realise that sometimes their elders (especially those that love them) should be accommodated, even if it means their own holiday isn't quite so enjoyable.

What I would question though is the choice of AirB&B. Why pick something so remote and awkward! Surely something in a more lively village/town would have been better given the mix of ages and interests involved.

Next time Id suggest a weekend break in a nice hotel with the in-laws rather than a whole week in a poor airbnb. Then you have a separate holiday by yourselves.

I don't necessarily agree that accommodation has to be nicer than your home. Not everyone can afford that and might still want to travel. However, if you're going to choose less luxurious accommodation it does need to be in a place where there are lots of things you want to see and do.

I think the car thing is a bit of a non-issue. A mile isn't that far. One of you walks to bring it closer then you can all go out. Lack of google maps for one mile is not a reason not to go out. Drive for a bit until you have signal or find a signpost.

Your first mistake is you are with your in laws. Hell would freeze over before we spent our precious family summer holiday with in laws or even my parents tbh who we both get on very well with.

LOVE family holidays with just our two kids amazing quality time as a family. Lovely to find that away from work / school their social lives we actually all get on really well.

It sounds shit OP and you in laws are being really antisocial not wanting nice dinners and just sitting there with the TV on all evening. They may as well be at home.

The blaring TV would do my nut in.
Can you hire bikes/e-bikes?
Any fishing in the area? Boat hire?

Your holiday doesn't sound shit at all.

It's my ideal holiday; pottering around with nothing much to do, glass of wine and a book and a bit of TV in the evening.

It's relaxing.

But then I'm very busy normally.

"Lack of google maps for one mile is not a reason not to go out. Drive for a bit until you have signal or find a signpost."

I must admit I read this with some amusement. Do people really never, ever get behind the wheel anymore without google maps. Presumably the OP is in a little village in Devon or similar and not the Australian outback.

It does if its not your choice of TV.

I'd suck it up for the rest of the week. But get a games night planned in somehow. Or google somewhere to take the kids that isn't a muddy walk.

I feel your pain - I'm off on holiday - fortunately only a long weekend - with grown up stepchildren their partners and DH's ex wife soon, who I like - but really we have very different interests and expectations of holidays.

They don't need to start the day till 2pm, by which time I've wanted to gnaw my leg off with boredom.

I would just go out for dinners every evening and leave the inlaws at home if they would prefer a quiet time and a Cook meal after a day's rambling. If the weather is fine then lots of wine and cards in the garden with the kids if games are your bag. I'm with them though - pootling around on a beach in the dying sun is my idea of heaven and my most loved holidays as a child were just that. Granted if you have to drive home that takes some of the fun out of it but frankly some non alcoholic beers would create just as much relief from Corrie as a bucket of rose.

The car/google maps thing is a bit wet if I'm honest. You can pin yourself on the map. If you pin the car and save it's location into your GPS or the nearest point you'll remember a route home from then you can always find your way home.

And remember not to do it again. Two days max, with higher accommodation standards or hosted at your own house. DH can still spend time with his parents. A ramble will still be a ramble unless you live in Central London.

That's such a shame OP- defo sounds like you need to book something more exciting next year! Agree with above posters, I absolutely live for our family holidays - for me they make all the work and daily grind worthwhile.

You are absolutely right, OP.
That's why I don't bother anymore.
Less fuss and yes, dirt.
😐

Maybe don't go on shit holidays with shit people? (sorry 😂). Obviously that's tongue in cheek, I'm sure your family are lovely, but I go on holidays, UK and abroad, both just me and my daughter, and with friends and their families, and we always have a wonderful time. Is it the case that you're just not going on holidays that you enjoy? If so, definitely stop doing that!

Same here. Children are young adults now but we’ve had such fantastic holidays. But we’ve had the luxury to be able to save up or to fully pay with points for 5 star hotels thanks to dh’s traveling through work.

Our dd went with us last week, she is 23 and moved from home a couple of years ago but we still had such a great time together.

You’re all right of course!

I know the car thing is a bit wet; I’m more explaining why I don’t just hop in my car and go elsewhere as I would if I were at home!

Fully agree with the poster who said we can’t always stay somewhere nicer than our own house; for us it’s a balance because our house is lovely and we have plenty of space as a family of four to all do our own thing when we want. I think next time we go away, we need to make sure that is the case. I can cope without living in the lap of luxury but I do get very claustrophobic.

We have found ourselves in the tricky position of people-pleasing on holiday; we have the same issue when we go abroad as we go with my parents fairly often and it isn’t necessarily the holiday we’d plan as a family of four. It’s a tricky balance because we have fabulous parents who our children adore and we’re aware we’re very lucky and this won’t always be the case. So I think we sort of suck it up for them?

Also want to make it clear, my in laws aren’t being selfish and forcing their routines on us: they are so accommodating and bend over backwards, but they like what they like and find situations out of their comfort zone to be very unpleasant so we don’t push it. You can’t have it all I guess!

I'm off on holiday - fortunately only a long weekend - with grown up stepchildren their partners and DH's ex wife soon

It doesn’t sound like a holiday.. 😅 But nice change to see people get along!

That would drive me mad, you can do that stuff at home.

i also don’t like air b&bs, I’d much rather a hotel where my beds made and I get fresh towels and although I don’t leave my room a mess I know I don’t have to clean up afterwards.

We do caravan holidays where yes we cook and clean but mostly we do use the on-site restaurants and there are loads of things to entertain the kids.

I also hate going away with other people. Call me selfish but when I’m on holiday I want to do what I want to do, which isn’t much, I like to relax and watch the dcs do fun activities. I hate having to accommodate other people, especially people who think holidays need to have every minute filled with activities or something to do.

My holidays involve drinking copious amounts of wine .... I used to feel rather judged when the in laws came with us. I can still see the raised eyebrow as I poured my second glass.

You have a problem called holidays with in-laws, not family holidays. Why are you going away with them if you don't like it?

This definitely doesn't sound like a holiday, I'd jack it in and go home while you can still enjoy a few days off work.

So you spend the majority of your holiday with your or DH parents???!!!!

Crazy!