To be annoyed that according to our mortgage application I am a housewife?

[MegBusset]

They have no category for SAHM (or carer or whatever) so either I am unemployed (as if!) or a housewife. FGS if I was a housewife then my house would be much tidier!

In France the term for housewife is femme au foyer (wife at home). But these days the term used is mostly mère au foyer, which is pretty much the same as SAHM.

yep the choice is always unemployed or housewife. Brilliant isn't it.

But, Ruty - It's not questioning what you do with your time, it's about how much money you bring into the household.

The lenders are only interested in calculating the risk of lending you money.

It's not personal!!!

I don't think "stay at home mother" sounds much better than "housewife" to be honest.

But as a couple of people pointed out, on the mortgage application you are irrelevant if you earn nothing, the bank people certainly don't care if you spend your days cleaning the hob or going to the park.

So YABU in my view.

Oh gosh, it doesn't matter.
On a financial application they are just interested in your income and they put Housewife as an option as otherwise we'd have to tick Unemployed which isn't accurate as it suggests you are between jobs for no particular reason.

well it is like when i fill in forms as 'Ms' it is assumed that I am divorced. It is inherently sexist. what do men put down if they stay at home I wonder?

I know that it doesn't matter, and I know that the only point is that I have no income for now. I'm not quite that paranoid (yet!).
Comparatively, it's a small thing. Is it still not allowed to annoy me though?

I don't like any of the terms used really. If asked I say I don't work.

Although 'mummy' as suggested above would have to take the biscuit.

I normally put my occupation down as Zoo Keeper, but you may have to field questions about the primates you care for

OK, so it is a small thing but small things can tell you a lot about wider attitudes in society. It's not like the forms just say 'How much money do you earn'. If you WOHM there is a great long list of professions to define yourself by.

Is there really that much variation in what goes on at home, though? Looking after children, doing housewrok (lots, some, just the basics), going to some groups, perhaps volunteering.

For the purposes of this kind of form, none of that is remotely relevant, whereas knowing you are one profession which has all sort of attendant issues in terms of job security perhaps, may well be relevant.

I don't think it really does tell you much about attitudes / society though. Even here you can see there is disagreement about what to call someone who has chosen to give up work and stay at home. It's not as if there's some obvious term that they're missing out because they're prejudiced against people who don't earn anything.

I think the term stay at home mother is pretty deathly (and I agree re. Mummy taking the Party Ring) but I can't see what you actually WANT to be there? Perhaps an option would be "Blank for your own message" then you can define yourself in whatever way you choose.

When required to put an occupation on a birth cert what do you choose? SAHM?

Actually, I reckon lenders would actively AVOID getting into too many descriptions....

I mean, there is a certain argument that the more kids you have, the more outgoings you have and therefore, the bigger risk you are.... Asking (or prompting) information about kids / SAHM etc., might actually lead to some lenders being biased.........

Message withdrawn

Sorry, I missed the part where I ran down women's traditional contributions to the running of the home. I have no objections to housewives. It's just not what I do.

My DH works from home (writing). I work from home (looking after my son). We both do not much an equal share of the housework. So I am no more a housewife than he is a househusband.

YABU

Housewife is just a label and as vague and unrepresentative as "unemployed" or "clerical". But like it or not, it's conventional shorthand for "not in paid work and looking after a family/home".

There's not much you can replace it with that doesn't sound too contrived or desperate. "Full time mother" is perhaps a bit unfair on WOHM's but that's how I tend to describe myself.

I think 'full-time parent' is certainly a fairer and less stereotypical term. For me, being a parent and being a housewife are two completely different things. But I can see I'm outnumbered on this one so I shall concede defeat and return to scrubbing my floors

Well TBH I think you should be doing a bit more of the housework if your DH is working and you are doing childcare. I do more housework than my DH as well as working 3 days a week. But that is a whole different argument.

Still I think YABU because it really doesn't matter. Is your DH not a full time parent btw?

Thanks for your input Bozza but how my DH and I split the housework is really none of your business!

I do accept that the term 'full-time parent' might suggest that those who work are 'part-time' parents. I guess I would say that DH is a full-time parent but only a part-time carer. Maybe I will start putting down my profession as volunteer childcare!

For the 6 months that I was not working between end of mat leave and finding another job, I described myself as unemployed, because that's what I was.

Not sure how voluntary it is if it is your own children though. I suppose just "childcare" as a stand alone term is more accurate, but for that it would probably be assumed that you are getting paid for it.

I get a wee bit exasperated when on the drop down list I can only find Lab technician. I'm a lab MANAGER FGS. I usually stick myself down as a Manager.
I think it comes down to not wanting to have a 50,000 entry list which is what these websites would have if they put every job title on.

MB - they are only looking for professions which attract a salary for the mortgage calculations, and housewife/homemake doesn't attract one. Look at it this way - if you earned a salary doing what you do you'd have to pay tax and NI
Honestly, there are more worthy things to get annoyed about!
I'm a SAHM mum atm, so know what you mean about the house wbeing tidier - I think I make a pretty crappy housewife