Bizarre encounter with man

[VickyPollard25]

I was walking along a normal sized footpath on a busy road (room for people walking each direction). I was carrying my umbrella with the handle in my hand and the rest against my body and over my shoulder so that the end/tip of my umbrella was in the air above my shoulder. I was happily walking along and listening to a podcast.

I passed a man and his girlfriend/wife. There were no issues. Plenty of room etc. He then started shouting at me. He was so loud I heard him over my podcast. I was puzzled and took out my headphones and looked at him to understand what the issue was. He was yelling aggressively that I should not walk around with my umbrella like that as it was threatening! Apparently I was threatening him. I did not know what to say. I was dumbfounded and just said “what?”. He then raised his fist to punch me, and would have had his partner not intervened and pulled him away.

I am at a loss as to what his problem was and what I had done wrong. Am I being unreasonable to think he would never had said anything if I was a man? I am sure he acted that way because I’m a small woman and he wanted to be dominating.

It’s an excellent point.

Not threatening but I did have to point out to a lady once that the way she was holding her umbrella was potentially injurious (I was walking behind her). She carried it so it was sticking horizontally behind her (under her arm). It was a long umbrella so could cause injury to an elderly person or child, (or anyone really).

Thanks, I will report it.

Hopefully I won’t see him again.

What an arsehole.

I have had that experience while sitting in my parked car. A minibus hit me, taking off my wing mirror, and drove off. He couldn’t get far because of traffic and I was able to go and take photos of the number plate etc. The driver then got out of the minivan and came screaming at me that I hit his van. I called the police with him screaming at me. The police officer told me to go somewhere safe (she could hear him) and that happens a lot that the perpetrator will aggressively blame the victim even in circumstances where it’s ridiculous to even try it.

Im sorry this weirdo actually got you. It’s just mad.

Reading your post reminded me of a couple of incidents I've had. The first was when I was in a clothes shop with a bored DD who was using her fingers to pretend shoot things (she was around 4 yrs old), a man who was in there with his partner started pointing at her and saying loudly "she's shooting at me", when we left the shop and started walking away quickly he actually ran after us shouting and blocking our way! It was really odd and quite scary, I thought he was going to assault me or my DD, his partner dragged him away and shouted out an apology saying "he's very stressed". This happened about 20 years ago but I can still remember how horrible it was now.
The second incident was in a supermarket queue where I was waiting behind a man at the checkout, I had my trolley in front of me but at a normal distance for him (no where near touching him) and had just started putting my items on the conveyor belt when he turned round and started shouting at me to get back and wait - (this was years before covid) - I did back off a bit because again, he was pretty scary but he continued angry shouting until he left the shop! The checkout person was like wtf, but didn't challenge him, I guess they were scared too.
Anyway OP, I understand how puzzled and upset you must be, I have gone over both incidents in my mind over the years wondering if it was something I did, but it wasn't - it was them and they get away with this shit far too often!

I’ve described the way I was carrying the umbrella. It was not sticking anywhere near another person. It only extended about 10cm above my shoulder. It was across my body. Stop trying to excuse or justify aggressive behaviour.

Thank you for sharing this. It makes me think that we just have to share this world with some pretty unbalanced people. It’s hard not to let personal attacks affect you though.

How absolutely horrible for you

Not arguing he wasn’t a misogynistic arsehole. But he can be a misogynistic arsehole and your umbrella carrying habits not to be ideal.

Pointy things should generally be carried point down. If someone gets pushed into you, you trip, etc. an umbrella or any other pointy thing carried point up is more likely to do damage than if carried point down.

My umbrella carrying habits 😂 Oh my goodness. I’ll carry my umbrella any way I wish if it’s not impacting others. This was in no way impacting anyone else. Nor did it have the potential to. I was not in a busy area, there was almost no one around and people can easily pass each other on the footpath or on the grass on each side. I don’t have any illness that would cause me to start waving the umbrella, swinging it wildly or otherwise lose control of it. I don’t tend to trip on flat footpaths. When my umbrella gets heavy in one position, I’ll change that if I wish and carry it another way. This is just extraordinary!

My umbrella carrying habits

Carrying an umbrella whilst female.