Bizarre encounter with man

[VickyPollard25]

I was walking along a normal sized footpath on a busy road (room for people walking each direction). I was carrying my umbrella with the handle in my hand and the rest against my body and over my shoulder so that the end/tip of my umbrella was in the air above my shoulder. I was happily walking along and listening to a podcast.

I passed a man and his girlfriend/wife. There were no issues. Plenty of room etc. He then started shouting at me. He was so loud I heard him over my podcast. I was puzzled and took out my headphones and looked at him to understand what the issue was. He was yelling aggressively that I should not walk around with my umbrella like that as it was threatening! Apparently I was threatening him. I did not know what to say. I was dumbfounded and just said “what?”. He then raised his fist to punch me, and would have had his partner not intervened and pulled him away.

I am at a loss as to what his problem was and what I had done wrong. Am I being unreasonable to think he would never had said anything if I was a man? I am sure he acted that way because I’m a small woman and he wanted to be dominating.

You did absolutely nothing wrong - he was completely out of line. I feel sorry for his partner if that is ‘normal’ behaviour for him…

Have you not held an umbrella with the handle part resting near the top of your legs with one hand at the bottom and another in the middle of the umbrella? The top doesn’t go very far past your shoulder. It’s pretty secure. But also far away from passers by. I’d passed dozens of people who didn’t bat an eyelid. It was also not a busy time of day and a wide path. There was no reason for any engagement or interaction.

Too right!

I literally cannot find a reason.

Other than drugs, alcohol or some sort of mental illness?

Either way, considering he tried to punch you, I sincerely hope you reported to the police?

If not, the very least you might be able to do is warn local people on FB or a neighbourhood app.

He sounds bonkers. I was once walking on a wide pavement, wheeling my bike up a one way street. Pavement deserted but for a guy in the distance. I had my bike positioned so that the pedals on the far side were hard at the kerb ie I was at the extreme outer side so as not to inconvenience anyone.

I watched this guy in the distance gradually veer towards me. When he passed me, he aggressively shouldered me then yelled at me for hitting HIM. Bonkers. These guys just want a fight. Or maybe he didn't like cyclists.

I thought about reporting him as his appearance was very striking, but the thought of dealing with the police was too off-putting. I felt a shaken and upset afterwards though.

What a vile bully how frightening

of course if you were a 6’2 heavily built man he would not have been so threatening he was threatening because he felt he could be

you did absolutely nothing wrong and I feel it’s an incident that should be reported he threatened you with violence (but understand if you do not want to)

Please report it to the police, it might be part of a pattern of behaviour.

The irony, shouting aggressively and actioning ready to punch a woman who was minding her own business, but yeah, she's the one who is threatening holding your weapon umbrella. 🙄

@VickyPollard25 I'd do an online police report, with a detailed description of him. Unpredictable men like that won't hesitate to attack a stranger.

His behaviour was awful. And agree with PP that his partner pulling him away suggests anger management issues are common for him.

Carrying an umbrella over your shoulder with the tip up like that is not a great way to walk around in public. But it’s thoughtlessly asking for an accident to happen rather than threatening, and certainly not something to shout at somebody over.

I don’t understand how an accident could have happened. I also think if I’m keeping to myself and inconveniencing no one, can carry my umbrella anyway I like. It wasn’t thoughtless at all. It was held out of anyone’s way.

This was just a misogynistic arsehole who thinks he can tell women what to do.

There's a lot of weirdos out there. I think it's a good idea for women to start carrying umbrellas. 😊
It would be a good idea to report it, op, as there may be CCTV in the area.
It won't be the first time he's behaved like that.
Sorry you're upset. It's not your fault.

I’m starting to think it would be a good idea to have a body-worn video camera on me at all times. So sick of random aggression from horrible men.

My latest experience was when I was collecting a parcel out of the lockers - on a busy street, a wide area of pavement- and this young guy lurched towards me and hissed that he was going to cut me up and eat the bits. Lovely.

Other than drugs, alcohol or some sort of mental illness?

Exactly. There is clearly something wrong with this person.

Another coward who feels like a big man threatening a woman!
He would have scuttled past meekly in silence had you been a man

There’s a lot of this behaviour about right now. A woman local to me was walking in the park with a few other women (they felt safer in a group). She moved over to let a man walk past and instead he barged right into her with his shoulder, and started shouting about how it served her right, and how dare she take up space.

I don't know if it's ironic, or just fucking exasperating, that an angry, aggressive man berated you for having a perfectly normal household object about your person, which could be used to defend yourself from an angry aggressive man 🤔🙄

It sounds like a possible PTSD reaction.

A fixed bayonet is carried the way you were holding your umberella.

He sounds like a cry bully looking for a fight with someone smaller than himself. What a big brave boy.

It’s not your fault dickhead men exist.

What a nutter. I'd do an online police report. Aggressive man on the loose looking to attack women going about their daily lives posing no threat at all. Thankfully for you the girlfriend/carer/whoever it was intervened. Hopefully he's volatile with the wrong person next time.

No words… what an absolute psycho. I’m sorry you had that experience.

Me too! It’s wonderful when nutters collide and they get the reaction they need to encourage them to shut down the bizarre behaviour in future.

Thank you. He was a total dickhead.

Maybe. He was a Middle Eastern guy so maybe he’d recently escaped a war over there. But I’m really not going to spend too much time coming up with excuses for him.

How dare she take up space? Wow.

It’s interesting that he said that. I was talking to my daughter about taking her space recently. Women tend to make themselves smaller sometimes, in work meetings, or even in their bodies. We have a right to exist and take our place at the table and walk down a public street or use our space on a train or bus seat without having to accommodate men who want to take more than their share.