It’s better to quit than be sacked

[Tigerbreadbum]

I have a new job 2 months ago, completely different from what I did before and I’m doing really badly.

it’s fairly basic admin but very well paid, flexible, great employer with lots of benefits. On paper all good. I had a catch up with my boss today and she had a long list of mistakes I’ve made. I feel utterly useless and embarrassed. It’s just basic stuff like no replying to emails, setting up things wrong. She kept asking if I felt I needed more training etc but it’s not technical stuff I’m struggling with, it’s just basic tasks.

Its probably relevant that I have ADHD which I disclosed at interview and I’m just struggling with focus as it’s so many bitty tasks.

Do I accept that this just isn’t the right job for me? I feel like everything I do now will be scrutinised and it’s making me so anxious

Sounds like your boss wants to help you op, it would be a shame to quit before you've even given yourself a chance to settle in!

Was it a long list of mistakes or just the things you've mentioned? Sorry to hear you're feeling insecure.

ask for support with an access to work application, ask for reasonable adjustments that you think you may need.
try and find out why you are making mistakes, I don’t reply to emails unless I leave them on unread and I find them distracting so I set aside email reply /dealing with times and don’t log into emails when I’m doing something else.
I would accept the training too, double check you know what you are supposed to be doing and make yourself “how to” guides inc screen shots if applicable til its second nature.

My boss is absolutely lovely and I think she does want to support me, even checked how I was feeling and if I was in the right headspace to receive some feedback before going ahead. There was about 10 things but all along the same lines. I think I’m just embarrassed really.

@Tigerbreadbum ask for another sit down with her. Tell her how you feel - you can tell her you feel embarrassed. This will be down to your ADHD so work with her to come up with a plan.

Lots of random little tasks? The list won't be totally non exhaustive so write them all down and just check them each day to ensure you've either done them or had a look to see if they need to be done.

What would you say you're struggling with the most?

Access to Work can fund coaching to help you develop strategies to manage your difficulties in this role.

You can apply directly yourself.

A lot of people with ADHD have strong rejection sensitivity and can interpret any feedback as criticism (i know, I'm one of them!)
It sounds like your employer wants to help, not push you out the door. Maybe you should think about strategies that might help you before you throw in the towel?
ADHD can make certain jobs more difficult, but it can have a lot of pluses too. I bet you're creative and have bursts of motivation where you can take on the world, no problem! I hope it works out for you, OP. Best of luck.

Give it more time. If your boss felt you were a lost cause she would have done the, “sorry but this isn’t working out good luck for the future blah blah” thing instead.

It is not difficult to get rid of people after such a short period. But she obviously didn’t want you gone!

It's entirely possible it is the wrong role for you. Reasonable adjustments can only do so much. Are there other roles in the organisation that may be more suitable?

It sounds as though she was trying to help you and even though you said you don't need training, this can come in the form of giving assistance in how to manage your workflow, techniques to prioritise tasks, set reminders, keep a spreadsheet and update it regularly, that type of thing rather than 'standard training'.

I think it would be a good idea to go back to your boss and ask for training tailored to your needs, and also self refer to Access to Work as there's coaching/mentoring support for ND people. I'm autistic and I have a work coach/mentor.

Is there a probationary period? If so, and you don't engage in trying to address the issues, they may dismiss you within the probationary period.

I agree. Try it out but ideally do another role.

I am in the position of the manager who has to check the work of a team doing very bitty tasks. It is soul destroying on both sides to correct and be corrected time and again, especially for repeat errors.

I wouldn't quit, I would take it as a chance to learn new organizational tools and tricks that will help you in any job
Go through the list she gave you and identify the problem

Not replying to emails - is this setting up an automatic response to outside people acknowledging receipt of email or is it internal emails confirming you will be actioning something

Could you create subfolders in your emails so only unprocessed emails are in your main inbox etc

Every job I've been in not only do the companies have different approaches and ways but so do individual staff members down to the salutation of an email. Small things that take a while to get

I would say 6months is a good time to reassess

It sounds like you need some help getting some systems in place to help you do the tasks/keep on top of them. It's easy to be overwhelmed when it's all bitty and things are competing for your time. I think you ll get there with a supportive boss willing to help.

I agree, it takes at least 6 months to get your feet in under the table and feel more settled.

Can you try some coping strategies. So for 30 mins morning and afternoon you do emails. Set yourself a rota to do stuff. Take notes on how to set stuff up then use it like a cheat sheet. Structure your day. Stick to ridigdly. Follow your cheat sheets.

This is all really great advice thank you.

We have someone who is responsible for equality and diversity stuff who I imagine can help with access to work application. I know as a company we offer adhd coaching as I’ve laid the bills for it. I just feel cheeky asking for it so early on

If you ask within the first few weeks/months the gov fund all of the recommendations so best to do it as soon as you can, there’s loads of stuff you can access via access to work.

I wouldn’t quit.

i also don’t think it’s great form to accost you in a meeting with a list of things with no warning.

Would checklists help?

Was also going to suggest check lists. I did this for someone I was training before. My job also had lots of little bits to do. I'm sure I broke it down to stuff that had to be done and stuff that could be done in the morning. I also made her a little book of how to do every task

Don’t feel bad asking for reasonable adjustments early on. That’s what they are there for! To help you do the role now not to help you once you start to struggle.

The aim is to help before you struggle!
As pp has mentioned check your RSD - shame and embarrassment is so common as we have always “got things wrong”. Your boss wants to help you and they employed you knowing you have adhd which is very positive.

simple things you could try: only check your emails certain times of the day (ie not randomly through out the day) and when you read an email reply straight away or delete it/move it/mark it as unread before you move on to the next one. Even if you only respond to one email.

try to reframe and take control of the feeling of being scrutinised. Feeling perceived/judged is very uncomfortable so you could ask your boss to spend time every day/week/month going over your work with you. Or you bring a problem to the table. You could ask her to check that you have done something correctly instead of “waiting to be found out”.

it may be the wrong job for you but if you don’t ask for the help you need and deserve due to your disability, you’ll never know.

Yes, I'm speaking as an exasperated manager too. No ill will at all to my member of staff but for everyone's sake, including their own, I've come to the conclusion that it would be better if they did something else. That seems the inevitable conclusion now, once we've been through all the HR stuff. Also ADHD, also a role where multitasking, time management and accuracy are very very important.

Give it more time, when you get used to the company and the way of things it will be like second nature.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Be humble, accept the help, look like you want to be helped & the employer will work with you. X

Is the ones who don't care and plough in the employers write off

I would definitely give it a few more weeks.

It sounds like you can do the job but it’s your organisational skills that let you down.

Create an hourly timetable for yourself and follow it.
E.g. Check and reply to emails at 9am, 1pm and 4pm.
Make sure you get that task done before moving on to the next.

Are you WFH?
I have suspected ADHD and cannot WFH because I get too easily distracted/daydream.

If you are WFH, would it be possible to go into the office until you are more confident.

Great idea!

I’m 50/50 hybrid. My office days are really positive in comparison to my wfh days. Due to commute times and costs and childcare I wouldn’t be able go in every day.

I’ve been reading access to work and found some “virtual offices” programmes for people with adhd and I feel like that could help me.

I feel a lot more positive than I did earlier when I felt like I couldn’t face them again and was writing my resignation!

One simple thing I find useful is when I go through the incoming emails, I always - always - flag them if they need a response/something to do for them. That way, if I'm distracted by something else, they're sitting there with a red flag and in bold if it's the following day, waiting for me. Nothing fancy, no particular categories, just 'need to do this' - I only drag them into separate folders after I've dealt with them.

I also use very limited automated filtering - one particular sender goes straight into their own folder (I'd lose hours and a lot of emails if I were to sit there setting up 1001 filtering rules) - and focus assist so I'm not distracted by pop-up alerts.

Oh, and if I find something down the list that hasn't been done, I forward it back onto myself (and then flag it) to make sure it doesn't continually get pushed down.

Other things include having a whiteboard to brain dump on, but just flagging the stuff you haven't done the second you look at it is really helpful.

You can do it!