Is this child maintenance enough?

[Ilovepugs2017]

First of all, just wanted to say I realise I am lucky that my child’s dad pays some form of child maintenance as I know a lot of dads don’t.

I’m wondering whether what my ex gives me for our son is enough though.

We split up when my son was a year and a half old (he’s now 13) and we sorted an agreement between us rather than going through child maintenance service.

He works full time - not sure what he does but he recently told me he couldn’t have our son when arranged as he had been offered a cover shift for a shift manager at £250 for 10 hours work which he wasn’t going to turn down.

Anyway he gives me £30 a week maintenance for our son which has been the same since he was little - obviously as he’s gotten older things cost more and he needs more money for things. Clothing for example is a lot more expensive now (he’s in men’s sizes as very tall) than it used to be when he was a toddler.

I know with the cost of living it’s impacting everyone so I was wondering whether it would be unreasonable for me to ask him whether there is anyway he could increase it a bit? As what he is giving me is helping a bit but not anywhere near enough.

Just for reference - he has him one night a week for half of the year so basically 26 nights a year on average.

He is taking him on a camping trip in august with his family for a few nights (rare occasion) and has asked whether I’d be giving him any spending money. Am I right to think this is unreasonable? I don’t ask for spending money from him when we go on a camping holiday….

Any advice would be great, thanks for reading X

Use an online child maintenance calculator to see what the CMS says is fair.
CM is a percentage of his earnings do without knowing his annual income, it’s impossible to say.

Open a claim with the CMS and let them handle it. Unless he’s working cash in hand or self employed, seems not, I expect you’ll get a lot more than £30 a week. It’s usually worth discussing these things but since he’s asked you to help fund his holiday with DS from the pittance he gives you he’s obviously a piss taker so I wouldn’t bother appealing to his better nature, just make it official.

No experience of this whatsoever but shocked at the amount. If nothing else it should have been subject to an inflationary uplift over the years.
And as for the camping trip, no you shouldn't be subsidising their holiday and he's got a cheek asking imo

It depends what he earns really but £30 a week is not a lot really when you're bringing up a teenager

You aren't 'lucky' that he pays a pittance for his child. It I'd the least/less than your child deserves. All parents should be made to pay for the children they create. There should be a minimum amount that parents have to pay that builds up, if they have assets these should be used to pay. Too many people seem to shirk their responsibilities. Children should come first.

Go through CS, £30 is not a lot.

I’d tell him to do one if he asked if you’d be sending spending money.

does he every give your son spending money when you take him away?

he is not doing you a favour by having your child, he is his child too.

get on to cms and get it sorted properly.

i got £50 a month for 2 children..

£120 a month is nothing, you'd lose nothing much, go to CMS you can't do much worse.

+1
its a disgraceful amount

This cannot at all be real! £30 a week 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

oops i meant a week... infact it was £200 a month so less than £50 i guess

I would imagine the overtime shift he done recently at the last minute was double time (though this is me assuming).

On that basis is £25 an hour is double time is hourly rate would be £12.50 on average….

I know he works nights so I don’t know if he gets extra shift allowance for that

Say for example he was working 40 hours on 12.50 that’s £500 a week.

This is just based on what he’s said to me previously so I don’t know how accurate this figure might be …

I’m trying to keep things amicable between us for the sake of our son and have never gone down the CMS route previously incase it gets his back up but I’m just finding finances more and more of a struggle as he’s getting older. You know what teens are like - wanting to be out the majority of their time with friends etc so I need to make sure he’s got money for drinks food etc while he’s out and about X

You need to find out how much he is earning (or go direct to cms) but I reckon from what he said about the shift he was covering he is on at least £20 an hour which puts him at a minimum of 36k a year - presuming he only has the one child he should be paying you around £360 a month.
He's a CF for asking if you are giving any spending money...if certainly be requesting more money and if he refuses go to the cms. You are not lucky to receive something from him, he should pay a hell of a lot more than he does.

@Itsajobones it really is real unfortunately. As I said I don’t want to appear ungrateful by any means but £30 doesn’t stretch far these days…

He is taking him on a camping trip in august with his family for a few nights (rare occasion) and has asked whether I’d be giving him any spending money.

Does he provide spending money every time you take your son out?

You are mad - you’ve done yourself out of a lot more money by not going through CMS. And no increases in all that time? He must be laughing.

What does CMS say you should get from him? You can just do a quick check online for a ball park figure if you know his income

It’s based on his earnings, as others say. Do you think he’d be open to telling you what his earnings are? I think it’s 15% of take home in your situation (one child less than 52 nights a year) but the CMS calculator will give you a more accurate figure.

If you can discuss it amicably, you can just agree an amount based on that. If not you can open a claim.

Regardless, his wage WILL have increased since you agreed £30 a week, as will your DCs living costs. Therefore YANBU to ask for an increase.

Ungrateful????!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my god.

£30 a week? Pathetic, having a few pets can cost that. How little he thinks of his child if he believes that is ok.

No that's a flipping pittance - I got similar (actually £25), through CMS but my "delightful" ex always managed to work cash in hand etc .

I bet he's suggesting he won't give you CM for his camping week either?

He’s got one other son who is about 25 now so obviously doesn’t pay anything for him.

But he lives with his girlfriend and her 2 younger kids (16&7) so I think they would be taken into consideration by CMS?

Yes they would x

Op he's asking for money because you've let him off too lightly for years and he doesn't appreciate it. Think what you could buy for £30 then and what it buys you now, everything is way more expensive. Ask him to put your money up, if he says No then go to CMS.