Appropriate level of celebration?

[Saoirse96]

I submitted my masters thesis yesterday. My husband didn't get me anything, plan anything, and just said well done and that was it. I've not had a life for the past 6 months. Throughout this I've consistently done majority housework and worked two jobs over 5-7 days a week. It's felt like such a slog.

For all of his special achievements and occasions I bake, host and organise surprise parties, get meaningful gifts, decorate with balloons and banners, plan entertainment, you name it.

I feel so deflated. Is it just onto the next grind and move on? Am I being bratty? I'm not able to attend graduation so I won't get a celebration there. I wonder if I'm just being an ingrate and maybe I'm just tired.

That sucks! Congrats @Saoirse96 Well done for all your hard work 👏

That’s very rubbish. This is Mumsnet so you’ll be told to grow up, but IMO celebrating big events in your life is a normal and nice thing to do and actually marks your achievements. The little things mean a lot as that saying goes!

Well done you 🥂💐

Congratulations - that's a phenomenal achievement. And with 2 jobs and a house to run!! Well done. It's forever surprising that men felt they were always the superior sex....
Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself. What does this mean for you in life? A career change? The possibility of working just one job and getting some time to yourself back?

And no you're not wrong to be disappointed with his attitude. Do you have some girlfriends you can call on for solidarity and some fuss. Maybe he needs to see how proud they are of you to realise he is being a pig.

That’s sad that your husband doesn’t do anything nice like this for you. Why can’t you attend graduation though?

Well done! Such an achievement. I also finished my Master's whilst working and being the main parent for my dc (3 of them). I think I got a 'well done' too, and reminded of how many days I spent away at uni studying.

Stuff him! Let's celebrate on this thread! You've done an amazing thing!

So, for you I have:

1. 🍾🥂
2. 🎂🍰
3. 🎉🥳
4. ❤️

I recognise how much work this takes, the sacrifices you've had to make and the exhausting juggle of life of you've had to do to get to this point.

You are amazing 👏🏼

I'm actually bubbling 🥲

Well the obvious answer is tone down what you do for him as he obviously doesn’t feel celebrating is necessary . Congratulations

Thank you so much.

I think you would be a little unreasonable to expect the same level of fuss that you give him - balloons, etc. feels a little ott for most, I think, and I would assume you were doing that because you enjoy it as much as for the person receiving it. However, I think some kind off recognition like a meal out to celebrate, bunch of flowers, etc. would be pretty normal and quite sad that he hasn’t thought of doing that. I’d be disappointed too.

Well done, it must feel like a huge relief.But isn't the celebration after the result or have you received that?

Well done OP. That's a great achievement and you've had to work really hard.

Personally I'm not one to expect big celebrations but as you make sure to celebrate your DH's achievements and he must know these things are important to you I think it's sad that he didn't bother to mark the occasion for you.

Thank you so much. It means everything really - massive career (and financial) change next year but plodding along this year in existing jobs to allow me the time to finish renovating and landscaping.

One of my friends called me this morning to invite me to her city for a week at the end of August, so I think I might just head there 😊

Well tone down what you do for him

But maybe he doesn't see "just" submitting it as an achievement? Maybe he's waiting until your results come in

Why can't you attend graduation? I'd make every effort to be at my Masters one (and one day I'll make it)

Without going into details that would reveal my anonymity, the long and short is a new medical diagnosis.

You know, I wasn't sure that Mumsnet was always the kindest place. But you. Your post has really made me feel so happy and I'd like you to all know how much a small message like this can really change someone's day 🥲

@Saoirse96 please make sure you go away even for a few days with your friend in August. You definitely deserve it 🍾

What special achievements of his do you celebrate? I can't think of any outside of birthdays.
Is submitting your thesis the same as getting your masters? Surely most people celebrate when they actually graduate?

Definitely go and see your friend and tell him she's invited you as a huge congrats for your amazing achievement. And good luck with career change etc...word of warning, these changes sometimes come with a change of DH ;-)
The sun is shining this week. Can you head out somewhere that makes you happy and celebrate YOU!

You submitted, surely the celebration is for when you pass?

I wouldn't be 'celebrating' the submission. That would happen when the results came out. I think my DS got a 'Thank God for that' when he submitted his undergrad dissertation 20 mins before the deadline!

Well Done You!!!

My recollection of an MSc while working is
exhaustion, anxiety and wondering "WTF am
i doing this "

It's a huge achievement and everyone should be proud of you-and show it!

But despite observing the effort they may not
really get it so defo so something to reward celebrate yourself (theatre, spa or sleepathon at a lush hotel)

Well done, that is a fantastic achievement! 🥳🥂🍾🎓 your husband should absolutely have arranged a celebration meal out with champagne at the very least! I suggest you get a few girlfriends together and go out and celebrate with many cocktails 🍸 good food and maybe end the night dancing 💃 then I would plan a nice shopping day for yourself, lunch somewhere nice and treat yourself to a few nice things just for yourself. You deserve it after all your hard work 💐

Absolutely well done! Doing my masters was possibly the most stressful year of my life, and I would definitely never be able to put myself through that again, so you deserve every kind of celebration that is🎉🍾🎊🥳🍻

also the submission is 100% worth celebrating- that's the real end of the work .....but maybe he doesn't get that?