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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

… Should I take this job?

41 replies

NameChangeForParis · 30/07/2024 12:58

Hey all. Long time poster, name change for this.

I’m looking for a new job. I’ve been offered a remote role, by a company based in Paris ~ however they have made it clear they would prefer me to move to Paris and be in the office 1/2 days a week. In return, they will up the offered salary, relabel my role from ‘head of’ to C-suite, and offer a chunky signing bonus/relocation help. It’s a rapidly scaling company, and included the possibility for this role to move to C-suite within 12 months in the job ad anyway, so it’s not a huge surprise.

I’d normally throw this back and start my search again, but I’ve found myself imagining life in Paris (I’ve never lived abroad) and am really considering it. I never did Uni/Gap years and now really regret it. I’m asking for advice here because my family are very dramatic and all hell will break loose if I mention this before I’ve made up my mind 😂

Additional things to consider:

  • I have DS, 4, who doesn’t speak French. After crunching the numbers I could swing a private international school, or intensive lessons. He’s very outgoing and popular, and finds it easy making friends who don’t speak the language when we’re abroad etc.
  • I don’t speak fluent French, but I do okay. The company will pay for french lessons, and operates in English anyway (most of the team is distributed across the EU)
  • DS dad is not on the birth certificate and doesn’t want to be involved so this isn’t a consideration. We’re close to my family, but they are not massively helpful re childcare etc, I rely heavily on outside help and this would continue.

So… am I being unrealistic? If you’ve made this kind of move, please tell me the pros, cons and things to think about!

YABU - don’t move, you’re crazy!
YANBU - do it, you only live once!

OP posts:
whatwouldAnnaDelveydo · 30/07/2024 13:01

Go. It will be an amazing experience.

Acapulco12 · 30/07/2024 13:04

I definitely think you should go for it!

You sound excited about the idea of the job and it seems like a really good offer, and it’s also easy to travel between Paris and the U.K., should you need to.

Also, your DS is young and it sounds like he will adapt quickly, and going to school in Paris will do wonders for his social confidence - although you mention he is already outgoing - and for his French.

PiggieWig · 30/07/2024 13:07

I think you and DS will both get a lot out of the experience. It sounds like you have the logistics negotiated and worked out, so go for it! You can always come home if it doesn’t work out.

MapleTreeValley · 30/07/2024 13:07

My DH lived and worked in Paris for 2 years, he loved it.

Enko · 30/07/2024 13:07

Go and enjoy it. You will be giving your son the gift of growing up bi lingual. What an amazing experience for you both.

You can always come back if you hate it.

Maelil01 · 30/07/2024 13:09

I’d bite their arm off! It’ll be a fantastic experience, your son will be fluent in no time as will you (eventually!) You can always come back if it doesn’t work out.

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 30/07/2024 13:09

Do it. You would be (literally) very silly not to.
i did and it’s amongst the best things i ever did. Also magically you’ll manage to get your son EU citizenship if you stay there- worth its weight in gold these days.

KStockHERO · 30/07/2024 13:10

Bollocks - I accidentally put YABU. Sorry.

Go for it, OP. It'll be a fabulous experience for you and your son.

NameChangeForParis · 30/07/2024 13:11

Thanks all! Any ideas on if public or private school is the better idea? I’m not a huge fan of private schools in general, but don’t know if it’s necessary due to the language barrier.

OP posts:
theeyeofdoe · 30/07/2024 13:13

I would say that you're open to moving, see how the job goes over the next six months and then decide.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2024 13:15

Do it!!!!!!

They CLEARLY want you, so if it doesn't work I don't think you'll struggle for work. You son will grow up billingual. It's an amazing opportunity. Go go go!!!!

Maelil01 · 30/07/2024 13:15

Private schools aren’t really a thing in France. He’d be better in a standard school. Maybe start some lessons now for him.

Maryamlouise · 30/07/2024 13:17

I worked in an international English speaking school abroad with 5 year olds and they would come in not knowing the local language or English but generally picked up the language really fast so I would think that going for a local school would be fine. Pretty sure they start a year later there so assume your DS would be in a nursery/pre-school for 1 or 2 years. Actually also have friends who moved elsewhere in France with multiple primary aged kids and they are all really loving it and fitted into local schools fine

CantHoldMeDown · 30/07/2024 13:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MumChp · 30/07/2024 13:28

Go!

I would choose an English international school but he will do fine in a French school.

Rookie93 · 30/07/2024 13:30

Go, what an amazing opportunity for you both. Paris is only 35 minutes away from London by eurostar so you & your family can still be close depending on where you and they currently live in the UK. My elder sister spent a year in France as part of her teaching degree (modern languages) and took her dc with her. She loved it and the dc still speak French well many years later. Think it's a fabulous chance.

Bectoria2006 · 30/07/2024 13:44

I would do it! Sounds like an amazing opportunity and fluency in another language is a gift for a child in their future opportunities.

I would though think about what you would do if things didn’t work out regarding moving back / living arrangements and also that Paris is a very expensive place to live.

NearlyAugust · 30/07/2024 13:44

Go!!!

Clarinet1 · 30/07/2024 13:45

I’m another one saying “Go”!

DS will pick up French very quickly at that age and it will be an asset for life.

Some aspects of French life are quite different to the UK but it’s not as if it were Outer Mongolia!

Greytulips · 30/07/2024 13:47

We had children come into school with no English - they were fluent in 6 months. They are surprisingly quick learners!

THisbackwithavengeance · 30/07/2024 13:47

You would be a fool not to go.

I can't think of a single reason why you wouldn't. I wouldn't even bother with an international school for your DS; he'll learn French very very quickly in nursery/state school.

SleepPrettyDarling · 30/07/2024 13:48

Allez!

Love51 · 30/07/2024 13:49

4 year old? Do it! It isn't like he's got GCSEs coming up! If you don't love it you can look for a similar role in the UK with a year or 2 of experience behind you and don't need to cite a work related reason for being available. Perfect!

NameChangeForParis · 30/07/2024 13:50

Thank you all so much for the support and advice! I appreciate it all. Was half expecting to be talked down so am almost giddy with excitement now. Will start researching properly :)

OP posts:
DaisyChain505 · 30/07/2024 13:50

What an opportunity. Go! Maybe ask if they’d throw in school fees or some towards to seal the deal! If you don’t like it you come back.