To be this irritated by this habit?

[yummyicecream]

My brother answers for other people when I’m speaking to them.

So an example, I showed DH a photo on my phone of DD and held it up. Brother was sitting across the room and when I said ‘awe isn’t she cute’ shouted ‘yes she is’ in that sort of monotone not listening tone (and was looking elsewhere at the time.)

Or I will ask someone a question that they know the answer to (eg to FIL ‘when are you off to Devon?’ and he’ll shout ‘I don’t know.)

I know it sounds really petty but it alienates me from a group because I literally can’t talk to anyone.

I don’t need advice on dealing with it S such I’m more wondering if it would annoy others as much as it does me?

Well it would annoy me but then I would either completely ignore him or tell him to shut up.

How often are you and your brother together? Just stop seeing him as much maybe?

He’s living with us at the moment so a bit difficult not to! I do tell him to stop it and he apologises but then carries on doing it so it still has the same effect where I’m isolated in a group - not sure if that makes sense. I think it’s partly an anxiety thing so I feel bad for getting annoyed but it really is so annoying!

In that Devon example, I don’t understand how it alienates you? Surely you all just ignore the totally unhelpful and irritating “contribution” and your FIL then replies?

Surely you don’t see him often? And certainly not often enough to alienate you from others?

I think because the conversation moves on so fil doesn’t answer. And if I do try to speak to anyone brother answers so I can only talk to him. Very frustrating.

you know he is going to do it so be prepared to shout ‘not talking to you!’ And then ‘sorry FIL, I was asking when are you going to Devon?’

pull him up every time!

’no one asked you!’
’stop interrupting!’
’you’re doing it again!’
etc etc

How old is he?
"He's living with us at the moment" - does that mean with you and your parents in your parent's house or with you and your partner in your house?

Just ask the question again ignore your brother when he responds, your brother might have an impulse control thing going on so maybe just answers automatically, ignore it and accept he does it.

Or this.

My partner and I. Why?

God, kick him out. Chauvinistic, attention-seeking twat.

How does the conversation mode on when the question wasn’t answered?

you have several options.
You can address your comments to people "DH, isn't she cute?" "FIL when are you going to devon?"
You can tell him to grow the fuck up and shut the fuck up when he does it
You can shout "i wasn't talking to you" every time
You can shout/say "was i asking you? put a sock in it" every time
you can tell him if he carries on he must leave - give him 24 hours to pack.
Get everyone else to chorus "not now, Brian"...

It makes no difference if you say the persons name (and can feel quite artificial, like when I’m turned towards DH and we’re talking clearly to one another.)

It’s like he can’t hear a question without answering it even if it’s ’I don’t know.’ It’s very irritating and is really grating.

Repeat the question until you get an answer from the appropriate person. Tell him to be quiet. Tell him if he does it one more time then he'll have to move out

Start asking "when are you moving out?"
Bet you don't get an answer to that one 🤣

I would just ignore him and repeat the question. Ignore every time.

One of my parents does this. We are both ND.

I just say, "I was asking other parent/DH/sibling, actually." then repeat the question and add in the person's name at the end.

Or,

"Okay...SIS, what do YOU think?"

Or,

"Why did you just answer that question? You've never been to Skegness! I was asking MIL. Who has just come back from Skegness!"

I think they just don't understand when it's their time to speak!

He’d just keep answering it … he isn’t really listening to what I’m asking hence the I don’t knows. Like I say I’m not looking for advice on how to handle it more wondering if it’s me being excessively grumpy or others would want to kill him too!

I think he is ND @PerkyMintDeer . Which is why I don’t want to be too cutting - but my god it’s really frustrating.

Water pistol. Just squirt it at him when he answers.

We ND people are ok being told facts generally. Often we think, "well why didn't someone SAY something?!" when we keep making faux pas!

"Brother, you've got a habit of answering for other people when I'm asking them a question. I'm finding it frustrating and upsetting. Please stop answering when I'm asking other people. When I want to ask you a question, I'll say your name or look at you directly. If I do neither, please don't respond."

Either there's something wrong with him, or he's playing a nasty little game by stopping you having conversations with people. He sounds like a teenager who thinks they're funny.
Shut him down every time and tell the others to do the same.
Does he absolutely have to live with you?

@PerkyMintDeer - I have - I’ve told him it’s really annoying and makes me feel I can’t speak but makes no difference in the moment. I’ll call to DH ‘have you seen my keys?’ And get him going I’VE NOT SORRY. And then DH is ignoring me because he thinks my question has been answered! Argghh!

He isn’t nasty it isn’t like that. It’s a complete lack of social awareness I think - just thinks he has to reply if a question is answered, a bit like a little kid who pipes up ‘it’s not mine!’ when a teacher asks who a bag belongs to! But he’s 45 😂

Your family aren’t being very helpful. Twice you’ve given examples where he replies he doesn’t know and they don’t answer. If they know the answer and he hasn’t given it why aren’t they answering?
He’s annoying though, definitely. The only solution is to pull him up every time and re-ask the question.