To want the neighbours kids to stay out of my garden

[Alicew00]

My daughter got scared because the neighbours son just climbs the fence and hits his balls at the back door while she playing inside and he looks inside when she's gone to bed.
The other week he came into our garden and broke my garden lights. There was glass everywhere and his parents apologised and made him apologize. Although he just stood there shy so I said I forgive you. I let them both play in the garden afterwards and I kept sure I stayed outside the full time instead of being inside cleaning up washing etc but then he starts calling her names and saying he'll get the dog on to her just because she doesn't feel like playing sometimes. ...but today my daughter wanted to play on her own after being away with her dad and after been in the pool she came in after chatting with them over the fence for a while. Then she got a bit scared and said what is he doing in our garden. I politely asked him to go back in his garden.
He went into his garden and sulked. Am I being unreasonable?
They're constantly in our garden and it's hard to get rid unless they get called in to bed.

"I let them both play in the garden afterwards"
Don't do this, you're sending mixed messages to this boy.

Time for a chat with the parents. Be absolutely unambiguous and unequivocal - no more mixed messages! - and tell them that he is no longer allowed in your garden, ever. That you need them to keep an eye on him to ensure that he does not climb the fence or otherwise sneak into your garden. They need to hammer it home to him that your garden is absolutely out of bounds, off limit, never to be entered.

Unambiguous and unequivocal.

Yep, I would - the boy's repeatedly climbed over the fence into the garden, hits balls against the door, broke the lights, told the OP's daughter he'd set his dog on her (?!) and it sounds like the OP has been giving really passive responses up until now. If she doesn't want the kid in her garden, she needs to actually say so. It doesn't sound like she's actually said the words I don't want you in my garden uninvited before, so at the very least I'd go with a toned down version of I don't want you coming in our garden uninvited again, and if I find you've climbed in I will call your parents. It's trespass, and it's upsetting my daughter.

But honestly, I wouldn't waste any more time with the softly softly approach, I'd be very blunt, because to me that's preferable than being passive (but planting thorn bushes). She needs to prioritise her daughter's safety at home over sparing the feelings of a kid who clearly doesn't understand or respect her boundaries.

Why would you let him back in after he broke your garden lights?? Have his parents paid to replace them?

Big fence. Very strict rules required. Never come over fence; call for dd at front door.

But I'd be discouraging from coming over at all. He sounds like a rude little shit.

Did they replace the lights?

Have yo7 actually told the parents to stop him coming over? You need to be 100% firm, no coming over again given he said he’d get the dog on her. He can bugger off, little shit.

Be glad he broke the light and use it as an excuse to change the goal posts.

‘As you know CF neighbours, I didn’t mind mini CF playing in the garden, but since things keep breaking I think it’s best that moving forward…’

Good luck!

There was glass everywhere and his parents apologised and made him apologize

Wtaf???
Who is paying for this?
I'd be telling them he needs to stay out of your garden entirely. if he trepasses again you will be taking relevant action.

What a little arsehole.

Anti vandal paint is what you need - where I work we had terrible trouble with kids climbing over the fences at night and onto the flat roof of one part. Put a load of this paint up and had two irate parents banging on the door the next day with their little darlings' clothes in their hands expecting us to replace them. Didn't seem to give a shit that their kids would most likely be killed if they fell through.

Never had an issue again though!.

Op, children don't understand subtle approaches, you let him come over a few times so now he thinks is OK. You're going to have to tell his DPs that you don't want him coming over anymore. If you really can't bring yourself to do that then tell them a new fence is going in and you don't want it damaged, so please tell your son he's not allowed to climb it.

Hey neighbour kid. Do not come into our garden unless you are invited. Stay out.

With electric barbed wire.. problem solved.😎

I don’t understand why you keep letting him in. It sounds like he’s quite young, but that doesn’t mean you have to give in. Be clear - no, he can’t come in your garden. It’s not worth the hassle. Let him in once and he’ll see that as encouragement to climb over whenever he wants.

Also, stop your daughter seeing him while in the back garden, then she won’t engage with him. Put up a high fence and make sure your DD understands he shouldn’t be climbing it and she should only speak to him when you’re at the front of the house.

Unfortunately , geese might not discriminate and go for the daughter and mother, too 🤣 and you don’t need a pond for geese. Do need grass. Have to be prepared for the noise, which might make the mother unpopular with the whole neighbourhood
and
lots of sloppy poops, too. I was so glad geese weren’t as big as cows .🤣 Thorny hedges are wonderful and cheap, and only passively attack.

Get cctv on the garden and send parents invoices. If he continues to damage stuff then tell them you will start logging police reports

This is what I did. If they can stop burglars batman getting in (see pic) then they will stop a young lad.

Part of my neighbours boundaries slightly extended to my front garden, they have literally damaged their own side of the garden to the extent that they don't have any grass.

Now their kids started to play within my boundaries. With a baby crawling in a walker around the garden and their older son playing football in my front garden.

Iam I been unreasonable?

What can I do it's so annoying. Why are they not using their back garden. They have packed their car right Infront of their house and they would the play in my front garden.