To think I did nothing wrong here?

[CatchTheRays1]

I have posted on the same topic before anyone jumps in...
In my old job I had a rough time. Other colleagues were being very unpleasant towards me. One colleague though, really stuck by me and was very supportive. When I left, I felt we would stay in touch.
She was acting fairly strange in the lead up to me going however. For example, one morning I greeted her at the door and she was fine. I was then chatting to other colleagues and she sort of moved away from us all and seemed really down and a bit off with me. I messaged her saying she could come to my home for a visit after I had left the job. She did but there was a mix up and unfortunately I was not at home. I told her to come back later that day but she said she couldn't. We kind of lost contact then until I bumped into her in town and said again that she should come for a visit but she didn't seem that keen.
Again, Didn't hear from her for a while until she texted me asking if I would like some books that a friend of hers was giving away. I didn't but enquired after her wellbeing. She has some chronic health issues and said she was struggling and not able to work much at the moment. I said I would keep her in prayer. That was a few months ago and I haven't initiated contact since. A friend through my church asked how she was ( I have spoken about her with them previously ) and I admitted that I didn't actually know and she said 'Don't you think as a good friend and Christian that you should have seen how she is?' Yet I feel like the friendship has run it's course and not everyone is meant to stay in your life.
I do have new colleagues who have turned into friends now but does this really make me so awful ?

up to you
you could offer to meet on neutral ground?

You wanted her as a friend when it suited you (ie. when others at work weren't beibg nice to you) and then made little to no effort when you moved on.

What even possessed you to talk about her behind her back to people at church who don't know her? However having done so don't be surprised that they are surprised when you dropped her when you had no more use of her. The lady at church was no doubt shocked that you pretty much ghosted someone who offered support to you at a time you needed it at a time they needed support back

Just as a PS (too late to edit my previous post): as for the poster who suggested that the secular approach to this friendship would be to let it die because it doesn’t serve you - that is utter bollocks. People are perfectly capable of behaving kindly and well without professing to be of any religious persuasion. Equally there are people who profess to be Christian who seem incapable of practising any of Jesus’s teachings about love, forgiveness and non-judgment.

@CatchTheRays1 - to be quite clear: I lost a friendship because I wasn’t there for a friend who was facing a serious illness. I let other things get in the way. When I reached out, it was too little and too late - rather like you saying you’ll include her in your prayers. What I offered was not enough. What you’re offering is not enough. But it may be all you can manage now. That’s okay - you’re human; it doesn’t make you a bad person. You just need to admit it to yourself and take the lesson.

This doesn't really sound like a close friendship but something that could have been a friendship in different circumstances. It might not sound nice but compatibility circumstance wise is very important for forming friendships, it's not just a case of how nice and deserving the other person is.

Don't know why people are saying she probably feels used when she got back in touch with me to ask if I wanted the books.....
I was always kind to her and of course not everyone can be kept in touch with. Our lives are completely different and mean has been exceptionally busy of late. That does not mean I am a bad person.

You're still not getting it OP.

You've got time to start a mumsnet thread about her and keep it updated/ make excuses. You've got time to message her. But you obviously don't want to.

Are you deliberately missing the point OP? In your OP you said;

"One colleague though, really stuck by me and was very supportive".

No one is suggesting you owe this woman a friendship, of course not. What people are saying is that she stuck by you when others were being unpleasant and giving you a rough time. You have shown her little consideration in return, not even bothering to check up to see how she was doing when ill. Saying you will keep someone in your prayers is just words, of no benefit whatsoever, in the moment, to the recipient. It might make you feel good about yourself, yes you can tell yourself you are a good Christian, but it is utterly meaningless when set against the actual actions of this person in supporting you at work.

No-one’s saying you’re a bad person. Many of us are saying that this woman was a better friend to you than you have been to her. As a PP said - you have time to post about her on MN because someone has injured your view of yourself, in which case you definitely have time to reach out to her.

Why can’t you approach this situation with some humility and self-reflection? Why can’t you accept that you are not perfect and that you have somewhat let this lady down? It doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad Christian. It just makes you human.

Why did you post, OP? You think your behaviour is fine and don't care if others think you were unreasonable.