To get more easily irritated with others and need more time alone, the older I get

[RosiePetalsRed]

I'm approaching 50, and seem to have lost my people-pleasing tendencies. I find myself getting irritated by other people, have less time for small talk and need a lot of time alone.

Can anyone else relate? I'm by no means perfect and realise I probably irritate folk also!

I have always been a bit like this but definitely becoming more intolerant now I am 54. I had therapy a few years ago and I discussed this. Therapist said that some people gain their energy from being around other people and some people gain their energy from being alone. I am definitely the latter. It helped me because I now feel ok about saying I don’t want to go to parties etc.

IMO it’s quite common. I need a lot more time in P and Q on my own nowadays, but then I’m a fully paid up Grumpy Old Bag.

I'm 41. Perimenopause in full swing - I didn't have a high tolerance for people before and now it is perilously close to nil. Not helped by Asperger's 😆

I feel like this too OP and I was never one for spending much time alone when I was younger. I'm 50 with two teens a DH and my favourite days are when they're all at work/school! The school holidays are the absolute worst - constant demands for food, constant requests to go shopping, I'm sick of it. I'm looking forward to going on holiday mainly so I don't have to do any cooking or meal prep for two weeks!

Omg this is me! I'm late thirties and just have no interest in small talk! I'm currently being assessed for ASD, so I think that's why...

oh god yes. I wasn’t sociable before. But even more so now. I’m 48 have a few peri symptoms and totally fed up with people.

HRT helps.

I’m in the Grumpy Old Bag club. I’ve always been an unsociable bitch though..,

Yanbu - Just turned 34 - felt like this since 30! 🤣

I totally avoid busy times/places, shopping etc I will go first thing in the morning as soon as they open. Dog walk is 5.30am, the less interaction the better!

I feel a bit like this but I actually think it's just a culmination of everyone always wanting things from me. I have just returned to work ft with a promotion which is more pressure than every before, plus doing so with a teen and a tween so I have the logistics of their lives too. My family all still want to see us ( and for a whole range of reasons which aren't unreasonable) I am usually the host or organiser for get togethers and holidays.

I spend a lot of time wishing everyone would just leave the me the fuck alone....and I don't want to be in charge of anything any more. Not where ds's white Nike t-shirt is cos it's been missing since he put it in the wash, or where dd might have left her sunglasses because I must have moved them from the lounge carpet where she left them or what time we need to be at the airport because dh sent me all the emails after booking so he didn't need to be in charge and expecially not what is for fucking dinner. I also don't want to hear about my dm's friend Sharon's dog (never met Sharon or the dog) and it's operation or what the vet charged or how many times their neighbours builder parked across their drive.

I have also become really intolerant of people with no manners (and much to my own children's dismay because it's so cringe I correct them). I have no time for men who think they can barge through with their cars when it's my right of way, or the ones who make inappropriate jokes at me. I cannot find it in myself to be polite or smile or giggle at these morons like I used to. I just glare or tell them to fuck off under my breath...to be honest the glare usually conveys that sentiment quite clearly.

I really need silence more often now.

Thanks, everyone, good to know I'm not alone!
I've always been a bit introverted anyway, enjoyed my own company, but it's the irritation and intolerance that's new for me.

Yep. I'm 41. Always been introverted, but perimenopause underway. Oh, I was diagnosed with ASD 6 years ago. I think that plays a part for me certainly.

I'm experiencing this at age 42 (also autistic). My tolerance for people has plummeted noticeably. I feel a bit bad about it tbh because my friends are as lovely as they ever were, but I need much more time alone now....

I am the exact same

I'm 60, now menopausal (finally.. that was a few interesting years getting there!) and just don't really like people. The world, my world, is too peopley.

My husband and youngest Dd are going out to an event in a couple of days and I am soooooo looking forward to being alone... just me and the dog (I can just about tolerate the dog!)

Yup, totally.

Yep, definitely. I’ve realised I don’t socialise at all now. Life with work and 2 teenagers and husband is enough too much peopley for me.

Hell yes. Me too.

I’m 50 & much as I still like spending time with people, I’m more grateful every day that when I close my front door it’s just me & the cats.

The best day of my whole holiday was when every one went out for a walk and I pottered around the holiday cottage, alone.
I've run out of fucks and can't be arsed to find my grip.
And I've no idea who made me the queen of object location but I'm bored of my 25 year reign.

I definitely am more like this also now at 50. I still enjoy meeting people but prefer smaller gatherings, meeting one person for a walk or lunch. I can't seem to cope with big parties, lots of noise etc. I like nothing more than getting stuck into a good book!

Me too but I think I’ve let it go too far. To avoid becoming a hermit I’m going to carefully seek out people who are the least intolerable.

Maybe without the people who really crunch my gears I’ll become a little more tolerant and not have to get myself a bunch of cats

I feel exactly the same op.

I remember reading an experiment they did with rats once.

They built them a wonderful utopia, and all was well. However they let their population grow and grow, and as it became more crammed, they observed all kinds of strange behaviours in the rats. One of which was some rats taking themselves off into any crevice they could find and isolating themselves, choosing to stay away from all the others as much as possible.

That's maybe us 😁

Definitely me too, 43, ND and in Peri. I simply cannot be arsed anymore and I couldn't be arsed much to begin with.

I am like that, but probably always have been. My DM would arrange for other people's children to come to play and I used to hate it.

I have good friends I love seeing, but it is usually one at a time and doing low key things. Large groups or noisy places fill me with dismay. Seeing my adult DC and their partners is always OK, they are all fairly quiet people too.

Someone I knew through my work wants to visit to "catch up" and I really cannot be bothered.

My work is very peopley, the rest of the time I like peace and quiet.