Would this be too much for your young kids ?

[toomuchfu]

I'm aware they're all different etc etc.

But I am just talking to my mum and how things were when I was little and what we would get up to on holiday and how we would behave vs how it is with my kids..

So I will outline a couple of days as an example

1. Get up after around 9 hours sleep ( kids are 2 and 4 ). Go to the beach until around 1 pm. From around 10 am. Then have a sit down lunch until around 2pm. Go home, 2 year old naps for a couple of hours and 4 year old goes in the pool. Go out to dinner at 8 or 9ish. Sit down dinner for at least an hour. Then go to a fun fair and let them go on trampoline, ferris wheel etc.. then home and in bed at around 11 pm.

1. Another day, get up after 9ish hours of sleep. Play at home and have lunch at 1, set off on 1.5 hour car journey. Kids nap in the car. Arrive at destination, go to friends house for 45 minutes . Wake kids to go into house. Then stop at hotel for 30 minutes, then go to buy some food at supermarket, then go to buy kids clothes at shop,then onto another stop and then a two hour meal. After meal at around 10 pm, go to an another place for a drink with kids. Then go home and kids in bed by midnight.

1. Kids up after 9 hours sleep. Off into the car to have breakfast at cafe, then quick play at playground and onto 30 minute journey ti have lunch at relatives house for two hours. The straight back to the car and journey home for 1.5 hours. Then just home time and bed.

I didn't cover bath time and story time but it's also I there.

Don't you think that this is A LOT for kids this age? Especially a 2 year old? And you'd naturally expect there to be some tears and tantrums with this kind of schedule ? My mum says my parents did even more with us and we just slotted in and didn't complain......

That sounds absolutely fine. There are more rigid parents who stick to their schedule at home pretty much on holiday too so you will get hugely varied responses and all are valid for their family. My kids would change for holidays and sleep in or nap during the day poolside etc or if very young nap in buggies while we were still out, if they needed to. If not then still up enjoying the night, fairs, trampolines etc. There’s nothing wrong with any choice as long as you recognise what your child needs at any time but there are often ways of helping them get the most out of a family holiday that means everyone can enjoy themselves.

@Ponoka7

Children got smacked legs, it's why we behaved.

What an absolute load of rubbish. You don’t abuse your children into behaving. My son is autistic and you could beat him black and blue; it wouldn’t make any difference to his behaviour.

You need to be a better person. My parents constantly hit us. The only thing that happened is that we all hate them now that we’re adults.

It’s stupid, non emotionally available parents like you who decided that children need to stay up late to suit their schedule, instead of realising that they need to make sacrifices for their own children. Selfish, selfish people.

Mine are 4 and 18 months. Late bedtimes for them are 9pm (like on holiday). Any later, they'd just be exhausted and grumpy.
Only once were they up later. My sister's wedding. They went to bed around 11pm which was midnight for their body clocks (we live an hour ahead of the UK). My eldest threw up in his sleep just from exhaustion. So we have to watch he's not being pushed too far...

I'm not convinced that everyone who claims that their own DC "just slotted in" is being truthful or has accurate memories.

DD is 6 and was up until 10 last night as a rare one off. She has a tummy ache today and is pretty exhausted and weepy – we had to leave a soft play party early! Some kids just really can’t handle late nights whereas others are fine, just the same as adults. I don’t think it’s the level of activity, it’s the lack of sleep.

Ours would be fine, our 2.5 year olds last 17 days on holiday looked fairly similar.

I think all three days sound well balanced and child focused, with due thought given to their needs and pleasure throughout. Whoever came up with that schedule gets full marks from me! The quality of the arrangements cannot be judged on whether DC of that age tantrum or not as that will largely be down to how they feel on the day and in the moment, as well as the fact they are unique people and what's too much for one might be fine for another. All you can do is go along with your plan but build in as much flexibility as possible in case the tiny ones don't play nice.

I think Brits are much more obsessed with early bedtimes than other nations. That said I do think grandparents either forget what small kids are like or don't want to change their routine for small children. Mine are teenagers now but we had a holiday with the ILs and DHs extended family (must have been 50 or so of us) and it was a bloody nightmare. I was heavily pregnant and we had a 3 and 4 year old. Our schedule was completely out of sync with everyone else and FIL was an arse about the fact that I wanted the kids in bed about 9pm (dinner was often after 10pm) and told me I couldn't feed them separately or put them to bed early, they had to fit in with everyone else. Never mind that I was the one who was dealing with them getting up very early and completely shattered. We went to my best friends house on the way home and I was crying with relief (pregnancy hormones) that she and her DH fed us at a reasonable hour so the kids got a full nights sleep.

Are the GPs complaining about the tears? Holidays are always disruptive to a greater or lesser extent, but either you try and insist on a quieter day on the DCs schedule or you tell them the tears are to be expected when doing so much but since you can cope with it they have to as well. But much simpler to just not holiday with them, after the nightmare holiday I refused to go away with them again, we just had them as house guests (MIL is a lovely guest) or DH went to see them with the DC without me.

Exactly how my eldest 2 were. Both better behaved when kept out and bust

And they were both nocturnal really. Still are.

So even on a normal day they'd most likely sleep from 9 pm ish to 7ish next morning. So a couple of hours difference on holiday would make no difference.

Ah ok. During holidays it's not unusual for my kids go to sleep at 10 pm. They wouldn't see their dad much if they always went to sleep at 7. As soon as there are school holidays, they go to bed around between 9 and 10pm. I mean completely asleep by 10. Just to see their dad. But during school time, they sleep by 8 or 8:30.

They aren’t. I see it all the time when older people reminisce about their children.
Often their memory of what a certain age was doing is way way off what is likely to happen.
One relative told me her baby always spoon fed himself from 6 months, never made a mess, never ever needed a bib, another claimed their 8 month old climbed out of the cot, down their stairs and walked down the street. All just incredibly unlikely. I think at a certain point people struggle to remember if the child was 18m, 2, or even 4. It all just blurs together as the early years. Understandable, but it does cast doubt on the claims that their 2 year old never ever whinged when tired, and they never ever based their day on their child’s sleep.

What's actually wrong with that though? It's pretty much how the whole of my generation were raised . Yet seems much more mental health issues and lack of resilience in younger age groups

At 2 years old my kids had 11 hours sleep at night plus a 2 hour nap in the daytime.

It's weird though, I never see other kids having tantrums and screaming. It's only ever mine !

My little one can't handle when he has to get off the firetruck merry go round at 10pm. All the other children seem fine ! He screams while being carried back to the car.

Mine would be hot messes doing any of that more than once, and I’d find it incredibly stressful and would avoid it.

We’re on holiday at the mo. We have a morning and afternoon outing (to the beach say), home in the middle for a nap/downtime, and bed by 7.30/8. Six and two year olds.

Absolutely nothing! I think it’s great. Kids are too wimpy nowadays IMO and it’s not their fault.

Heh? Come again, in bed by 11pm or 12 pm. I don't think this is okay.
Once off, sure. But every night I'd wrong imo
Also you get better quality sleep in the first half of the night than the latter. So a 9 hour sleep (which by the way is too little for a 2 year old) from 8pm to 5pm is better than 12 pm to 9 am.

Also I would feel terrible to wake my children up after a 45 minute nap, when they've gone to bed at 11pm and had such a full day.
If this is on a holiday, remember that just the fact that they're are in a new place , already makes them more tired. Their brains are working SOOO hard!

That was pretty much my last summer holiday with a 3yo. No extra tears or tantrums beside the usual standard - lost toy, cousin disagreement, dropped ice cream etc. But the difference might be that if my child goes to bed late they also wake up late. They don’t need a rigid schedule and are quite flexible.

How many episodes of tears and how many tantrums on an average day?

That's great! Mine always wake at the same time, no matter when they go to bed!

My children are 2 and 4. There is a reason they go to bed at 7pm - they are exhausted. On special occasions or on holiday, I tend to let them stay up until 8. Even so, we often pay for it in the morning and their behaviour reflects the missed sleep.

I would be putting my foot down, for sure. It isn't pandering to children to ensure they have enough sleep and aren't out all hours of the night!

It's because they're way overstimulated mama! They physically cannot handle the lack of sleep and busy days and all the changes and tantrumming is just communication. They're trying so hard to say 'mama I'm not coping'!
Btw I'm not saying it should be a rigid schedule, we all stay up later during summer hols. But near midnight for 3 days in a row. Sheez, I wouldn't even cope

My kids would have been fine with that, particularly my eldest, but she is and has always been a cat napper and good with late nights. The younger might have struggled a bit in the evenings but she'd have just fallen asleep in her buggy/the car if needs be. I think they would probably have been fine with that sort of schedule, but equally if we felt they were getting overtired or cranky, we'd have reacted to that appropriately and provided the opportunity to sleep and or decompress. They're 11 and 8 now, and were both up until midnight last night - we're currently on holiday.

That's because they have a nice, strong biological clock. Not a bad thing, except if mom is popping me in bed at 11pm. And my body tells me to get up at 7. Then I'm struggling.