Adults calling their parents by their names

[lunchingwithladies]

Inspired by the Aunty Emma thread, my brother (in his 40's) calls my mother (in her 80s) by her first/Christian name, often in a slightly patronising way.

It gives me the absolute rage. Anyone else encountered this??

AIBU?

I never called my parents Mum and Dad growing up.
It was always Mummy and Daddy.
I'm not sure when it changed but my father, approaching 90, started referring to himself as 'your/my Dad' at some point so he's Dad now, but Mummy still signs cards and letters as Mummy so that's how I greet her.
My siblings and I refer to her as Mum in our own correspondence, but in her hearing it's always Mummy.

Sounds like he's trying to change the power dynamic

I call my dad Daddy and always have. He doesn't like it but tough luck. I don't see it any weirder than adding -y for affection to anyone's name.

I avoid addressing my mother at all but certainly wouldn't call her mummy.

I've never heard anyone doing "it in a patronising way." DH called both his parents by their first names, at their request, from the age of about 12. They decided he was too old to use Mummy and Daddy, especially in front of customers (they lived in work-related accommodation), and for reasons I don't entirely understand, Mum and Dad just don't seem to have been on their radar. Possibly a regional thing as they weren't upper-class. They never referred to my parents as "your mum" or "your dad" the whole time I knew them, always "your mother" or "your father." This vaguely irritated me somehow.

DH also called his paternal grandmother (he never knew the grandfather) by her first name and I think his dad did too.

My take is that you should always call people what they say they want to be called. It's not automatically disrespectful to call parents by their names - but it is if they don't like it.

I've always called my dp by their first names. I don't see why you care tbh. I think it's up to the individual.

Is he really being patronising? Or just using her name and you find it patronising?

I usually call my dad by his first name.

I think it started when we had children and I stated calling my husband 'Dad' to the kids - "Ask Dad," etc.

My daughter decided at some point to call me by my first name. I was not impressed. I let it go for a bit but then mentioned I didn't care for it. I'm her mum, there are only 3 people in the world who have the privilege of using that title to me and I'm not prepared to relinquish it. Maybe as I didn't have the opportunity of calling anyone that myself I feel so strongly.

I still call my dad, Dad.
I was in his class at school and couldn’t bring myself to call him Sir, it was just too weird!

my DC (5 & 9) occasionally call me and DH by our names…. I find it quite amusing but usually don’t react, I just respond same as I would if they said mum.

Why does this upset people so much? It’s what we called them - it would’ve felt very odd to suddenly start calling them ‘dad’ and ‘mum’. I would talk about ‘my mum’ or ‘my dad’ if I was describing them to other people, but to me and my siblings they were always Mummy and Daddy. And we are not posh or royal, it’s just what we used.

I’d give anything to be able to use those names again 😢

If both are happy with it, myob. DH called his parents by their first names after about the age of 25, respected them a lot.
I would never have dreamed of doing the same to mine, and certainly in the case of late father, I didn't respect him all that much.
Personal choice.

My family nickname was a shortened version of my first name, and all my family called me Tooty.
DS up until he was about 8 called me Mummy/Mum, then started calling me Tooty and still does and he is in his forties now.
I didn't mind then and still don't, it's my name.