Sending your parents a wedding anniversary card

[Needablueskyholiday]

For context - my husband sends his parents a wedding anniversary card every year. His parents married before he was born. I think it’s weird? He said he’s always done it and his mum would be upset if he didn’t. On big anniversaries he buys gifts, as again his mum would be upset if he didn’t.

YANBU - yes that’s weird
YABU - nothing wrong with that

Some people are more ‘card people’ than others. My aunt for example has a huge stack in her house and loves any excuse to send a card. I have other friends and relatives who don’t even send them for birthdays. It’s neither weird nor not weird, depending on who it is.

I used to do this until we lost Dad. I see nothing wrong with his choice.

It’s fine….why wouldn’t it be….it’s certainly not weird

It's not a big deal if he does but I wouldn't myself. I always think wedding anniversaries are for the couple. Maybe celebrate milestones with a special family celebration, but they are personal to the couple.

I’ve never sent anyone a wedding anniversary card unless it’s been a significant anniversary they’re having a party for, like 40/50 years.

It may be weird to you, but it’s not weird to him. Either way he isn’t hurting anyone and it sounds like he isn’t making you send the cards and gifts so it’s a non issue really.

We do it. We have Jehovah's Witnesses in the family (though not me or my parents) so wedding anniversaries are culturally significant to us as it was a celebration we could all enjoy together with extended family. I don't see anything wrong with finding opportunities to celebrate. Never understood why "she'll go to the opening of a crisp bag" was an insult 😂

Anniversaries ending in a 0 or a 5 ("tombola anniversaries" we call them) we go out for a meal as an extended family.

Totally normal in my family. Grandkids generally make cards and even homemade presents too. I don't see why not. I don't think my parents would be upset. But it's what we've always done. We go all out for milestone anniversaries too. Big family meals, generous gifts (holidays usually).

We used to send DH’s parents a card, as it was very important to them. My parents weren’t bothered, but they always sent us one. It was a different generation then and selecting the right card for various occasions was important. I’ve recently found my engagement cards, there was loads, so presume this was also a thing 35 years ago.

I personally dont get it, but for anyone else not weird at all

My husband's side of the family are big card senders but my own family weren't. My parents' wedding anniversaries were just their own thing.

Edit: I didn't vote because it's not weird either way just different ways of doing things.

I send a card to my parents - they're happy and wonderful and support us with so much it's nice to have an opportunity to celebrate them and I always send my mum flowers - to be fair I try and send her flowers at least once a month as they make her smile.

I do this. I also buy them a shared gift. Last year, a blood pressure machine. I thought they needed one 😂

DH always makes a big panic about remembering a card for his parents w.anniversary. It makes me a bit because a) i think it's odd, and b) they don't bother with ours. Rightly so.

I do it and I buy them a gift as well, normally tickets for a show or dinner so they can do something nice to celebrate! They would never expect it but I think it's nice and they really appreciate it

I don't personally do that, but if he wants to do it and it makes his parents happy, what's the issue? Are you usually this judgmental about anything anybody does that is different from what you do?

Always did it for my parents, but no one did it for my PiL. It was just what both families were used to.

I really hope when my kids are older that they at least send us an anniversary card. Cards mean a lot to me probably more than presents. I think your husband is thoughtful for doing so.

My parents live too far to send post, but I know my 3 siblings and I (ages 30-50) still message or ring to text Happy Anniversary! It's half along the lines of 'well done on not throttling each other by now', to be fair.

When I was younger and still at home we'd make them cards and breakfast in bed etc. We aren't an overtly celebratory family, either - no fancy or big dos, or even what others may consider 'proper gifts'.

Off topic but where is too far away to send post? You can post literally anywhere in the world surely?

I think it's weird and I'd find it weird to receive an anniversary card from anyone but DH. Exceptions for if someone is hosting a party.

@Changingplace It's a rural location in SE Asia, the post rarely gets to their house so they usually have to go to the city to collect it (and it arrives 1 month later, unless you pay DHL an exorbitant amount!)

I've never done it

My DM would think it was cringe if I did because it's hers and my Dads special day

I don't think it's odd. I buy my mum one every year and I'll buy a gift on her big ones. I only do it for my Mum, dhs side we don't buy they don't want or value cards. My mum loves them and gets joy from them, so I make an effort for her, I don't think it's odd to do these thing for people you care about if it's something they value.

It's not weird either way, just different expectations / traditions. I don't expect anyone other than DH to remember our anniversary by sending a card/present because it's a day to celebrate our relationship, commitment to each other etc. However, my dad recently told me I had to send them an anniversary card this year because mum was upset I never do. Apparently she makes a comment on it every year but neither if them said anything before...... So I can definitely see that it can matter more to some people than others and now I know it's important to my DM I'll try to remember to send them a card next year cos it makes her happy...