How old is the dog, and how big is it? Has the jumping up caused injuries before? Does the dog sometimes nip when jumping up?
If you've never had a big dog jump up and cause you a facial injury, it's really easy to say no one should lose their temper. Is it a dog that's jumping up is hazardous? Ie: it does it when you are trying to walk, carry something, anything?
I've also met a dog (small) that would repeatedly attempt to jump at your face (and wasn't far off succeeding) for several minutes after you entered the household. I'm talking a dog that was just bouncing up and down with no break inbetween - you couldn't step forwards for fear of hurting the dog as it was in the bloody way. Utterly ridiculous, but also completely owners fault as no training and ignoring the bad behaviour wasn't working months in...
For your original post, you're totally being unreasonable. He left the situation. He wasn't able to control his personal space or manage the behaviour of your dog, so he simply left - that's the 100% correct thing to do when losing your temper - and everyone has a temper, and everyone loses it at some point. It's how you behave in that moment of loss of control that's key - and he walked away. I couldn't get worked up by slamming a door because a dogs jumping at my face. Don't be so dramatic.
The pinning down - again, context, and from your update it sounds like you made it sound far worse in your original post. Nobody should be pinning a dog down. Your update make it sounds like he's asking the dog to lie down and gently holding her by the shoulder to direct some calmness. You'll get plenty of people freaking out about this, but if that's genuinely how it happens he's not hurting the dog - no different to using your hands to move a dog out the way. IF he's forcibly pinning her down though, yeah that's wrong and either way whether forcibly or not, it's not working, is it?
If it's a joint dog he needs to engage in actual training methods, as do you. People freak out about negative reinforcement all the time - but a negative reinforcement can simply be giving the dog a time out. Two birds one stone - it's a negative consequence of a behaviour, and secondly, the time out gives the dog the ability to chill its beans - without even needing to touch it, much less pin it down.
You need to assess the context of when and why the behaviour occurs. Training a dog not to jump up really should NOT be taking a long time, regardless of how incessant the dog is with it. It's really easy, even when you get the dogs as adult rescues.
I think this is a case of him not coping with the behaviour here, and I can't say I blame him. I cannot abide dogs that jump up (and I'm a dog owner). It's terrible behaviour. That being said, there's a lot of context missing. You both need to be on the same page with training and completely consistent. Not pinning the dog down, not ignoring it, you need to deal with it now, because it's clearly causing problems, and you both need to put actual effort into the training and dealing with it effectively, but sensibly. Time out sounds the best idea, gives everybody a break. Sometimes, you need personal space and a break from a dog.