DH doesn't want to go out for dinner

[Fruitbatfruitcake]

So we have miraculously been offered overnight childcare for 2 of our DC 4 and 2 yo. We have a DC3 who is 2 months who will be staying with us as EBF. MIL has kindly offered to take the older 2 off our hands for a sleepover, amazing. I said to DH let's go out for dinner somewhere whilst we have the chance in the newborn stage when they are portable and have no routine (never did for first two because of covid and no offer after second). DH has said no because he wouldn't enjoy sitting across the table watching me eat and BF at the same time like he does at home every night, and thinks it would be awful if they were unsettled and cried upsetting other dinner goers.
My opinion is we have never tried so we will never know and I'd like to give it a try as this is our last DC and see other people out with newborns all the time. Let me know your opinions please.
YABU, DH is correct why bother
YANBU, go for it, you only live once and deserve not to cook or wash up for one night

I'm with DH, I'd much rather get a really good deliveroo/takeaway and enjoy it at home not having to worry about BFing discretely or if the baby cries etc.

But you're not unreasonable to want to go out if that's what you prefer. It's just different preferences.

'He wouldn't enjoy sitting across from you eating and BF at the same time'
Well, that's nice, he's acting as though you are doing something distasteful.
And how about what YOU want. He sounds selfish.

Stay home, get a takeaway. DH has said he wouldn't enjoy it, so why expect someone to go do something they don't want to on a rare night off?

I'm with him that it will be stressful if the baby cries, and it will annoy other diners if it does. Nobody wants to eat a restaurant meal with a crying baby in there.

It doesn’t really matter who’s BU. He doesnt want to go out to dinner with a BF newborn which is fine. If you want to get out more with the baby though you should.

You want to he doesn't, you've both good reasons (altho I'm not keen on the bf comment!).

Is there any halfway house? Can you grab an hour in a beer garden then get a takeaway, or go to a really relaxed gastro pub or even somewhere child friendly?

We took newborn DS out to eat loads. He wasn’t much of a crier, especially not with me there. We’d never have got out if we didn’t; we don’t have any childcare options.

We had no bad newborn visits out. From my experience; he’s being silly, but I’d agree with the comment above about a compromise so that you get to do something.

I think if you go out now, knowing that he doesn't want to go, you'll both be on edge anyway. I also think that if you do go, and the baby cries, it'll likely end up causing a row between you, as he'll say he told you so, etc. I think I'd just have a nice takeaway and maybe have an evening at home doing something you don't usually do, ie, if you normally spend an evening just plonked on the sofa watching telly, try having some music on, and chatting like you hopefully would if out for a meal.

DH has said no because he wouldn't enjoy sitting across the table watching me eat and BF at the same time like he does at home every night

Bizarre choice to have three kids with such an arsehole but everyone is entitled to their own life I guess.

well he can cook and wash up for a change then. You shouldn't be doing it with a BF newborn every night anyway.

What a vile thing to say.

He says he doesn’t enjoy eating dinner while his wife feeds their baby, and leaves her to cook and wash up every night with a newborn.
Someone in this scenario is vile and it’s not me.

If DH doesn't want to and won't feel relaxed, then it won't really be what you're hoping.

And you don't need to take this one opportunity to have been to dinner with a newborn - you act like it's on a list of things you must do and haven't been/won't be able to.

DH has said no because he wouldn't enjoy sitting across the table watching me eat and BF at the same time like he does at home every night

What a vile comment.

What has he offered as an alternative, is he going to do a food shop, cook for you and clean up afterwards?

I think you could try somewhere fairly casual and local but be prepared to come home if DC is unsettled.
I wouldn’t go somewhere special though. Far too easy for it to go wrong

I wouldn't want to go either. A good takeaway and child free night watching a series is what I would prefer. He's right about the big faff if the baby doesn't settle too.

It was your obvious contempt for the OP I was referring to. Your judgement of her was vile.

I think he's being a bit mean. As an option, could you stay overnight in a hotel and get some room service? You'd still have a lovely night away and instead of paying for expensive dinner, you could have a hotel room. That way you'd not be 'upsetting' other diners? And DH can watch the bloody TV instead of you and the baby 🙄

Go on your own with the baby ....

Oh dear god!! How fucking OTT!

OP, stay in get a takeaway!

If I'm going to a good restaurant I don't want your baby there. End of.

I can see your point, surely you could have a takeaway and watch TV any night! We took our newborns out all of the time while they were so portable, most of the time they just fed or slept in their pram next to us.

Going out with a newborn isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Neither of you are wrong.

I would have a take away night in and then go out for breakfast in the morning.

Same

He sounds fed up. I wouldn’t enjoy a meal out with a baby either though to be fair. My dc are 12 and 21 now and I remember the stressy stage of them being tiny and trying to have some sort of enjoyment when you eat out and it just being hell.