DH doesn't want to go out for dinner

[Fruitbatfruitcake]

So we have miraculously been offered overnight childcare for 2 of our DC 4 and 2 yo. We have a DC3 who is 2 months who will be staying with us as EBF. MIL has kindly offered to take the older 2 off our hands for a sleepover, amazing. I said to DH let's go out for dinner somewhere whilst we have the chance in the newborn stage when they are portable and have no routine (never did for first two because of covid and no offer after second). DH has said no because he wouldn't enjoy sitting across the table watching me eat and BF at the same time like he does at home every night, and thinks it would be awful if they were unsettled and cried upsetting other dinner goers.
My opinion is we have never tried so we will never know and I'd like to give it a try as this is our last DC and see other people out with newborns all the time. Let me know your opinions please.
YABU, DH is correct why bother
YANBU, go for it, you only live once and deserve not to cook or wash up for one night

It's not that enjoyable having a meal out with a baby, if they just sleep in a pram then it would be, but the chances are that won't happen. We did it quite a lot and I think you should settle in with a takeaway and a film!

Takeaway seems much better. I’ve got a 6 month old and 7 o clock every night we did bath and bed routine so going out was always out of the question. But if you think you’d be okay then maybe something to try but I think if you aren’t both on board then it maybe isn’t a good idea.

If your baby is generally settled by bf then I’m with you OP, why not enjoy an evening out?! He sounds like a grumpy twat! If other diners are miffed there’s a newborn in the restaurant then that’s their bloody problem, women shouldn’t be shamed for having a life after giving birth. Go with a mate and leave the husband at home if you think he’ll have a neb on all night.

But what's the point in doing that? That can be done any night, the point is that the other two are not home.

We had our son and when I was discharged from hospital a week later, DH asked what I wanted to eat. "Indian!" I declared.

We drove to the Curry Mile and chuckled when they asked if we needed a high chair.
DS slept and it was the best bloody curry and pint of Cobra that I'd ever had 😂

I’m so surprised by these comments.

There is absolutely nothing wrong or difficult about going out to eat with a newborn. I absolutely understand why you would want to take this rare opportunity to go out.

I am completely confused by your ‘D’H comment that seeing you breastfeed would put him off his dinner… is he a child?!?

And to all the PPs saying that you should stay in a get a take away- that’s not exactly a special treat is it, nor should you be expected to hide away because you’re breastfeeding.

As I see it, you are the one doing all the hard work right now and therefore your DH should be willing to do whatever it is you would like to do.

Your world can get very small when you have a newborn and other children to raise. You'd think he'd make the effort to give you the opportunity to get out of the house and see and do something different.

@RomeoRivers same! Around here it’s so normal to go out for dinner and a drink with a newborn. It’s the best age for it until they are like 4+! Why not make the most of it when you can?
Some of these posters must live in such a bubble.

My contempt is very much for the husband, thanks very much.

I'd rather find a pub with a nice beer garden and get a takeaway on the way home.

You accused the OP of making a bizarre choice.

Yes, you' re it's her fault. If she had made a better choice, she wouldn't be in this situation

Go away!

OK

He sounds rude for saying he wouldn't want to look at you feeding yourself and his child at the same time. Like as if you have a choice?!
But I would probably stay home with a takeaway if he was going to look like he might spoil the vibe if the baby cries or whatever.
He's paying for the meal though!

Really? Or maybe he does not want the usual routine at home played out in a restaurant. They may as well stay at home, and order a takeaway. It will be cheaper for a start!

My husband has never been into eating out until recently when he started chillaxing a bit more...not sure, he is not ND but was very shy when younger. Never mind, still the best man I could ever meet

I wouldn’t want to go for dinner either in these circumstances as I’d be happy to have chance to relax/ be too tired.

But to say he doesn’t want to watch you eat and BF is awful of him.

Took baby out for meals loads at the newborn stage. Pretty sure they mostly slept. Has he any alternative suggestion?

What a jerk. The whole point of eating out is that you are waited on and treated nicely. You get your choice if food and drink and you get up and leave the mess.

Its fine if he doesn’t get the same thrill that you do. He gets waited on hand and foot anyway at home. But the fucking gall of being bored watching you feed his baby?

Pump a bottle and go out to dinner with a gf. Leave him to feed the baby and eat beans on toast.

He does sound fed up and could be a lot more positive, but personally I’d prefer a drink in a pub garden than a takeaway in your circumstances. There’s something “date” like about going out for dinner, which I imagine having a newborn with you when your parents of 3 will just highlight that it’s not a fancy date night. But hope he’s open to communicating about making it nice and not just being an arse!

Just go out by yourself. Suggest he sits on a bench outside and then he can take the baby and push them around in the pram if they're unsettled.

We all knew what you meant. It was bizarre but funny when you backtracked.

Op, your needs come first, he should compromise his stance

I agree with this. Presumably by baby no
3 you know exactly who he is.

What exactly am I back tracking on?
It’s clear from such a limited post that OP is married to a prick, it’s weird that this seems a surprise to her. I’m by no means backtracking on that.
Even the fact that her issue is not going out to dinner, rather than the fact that her husband disrespects her by saying he doesn’t want to have to see her breastfeeding while he eats his dinner, and the only alternative is for her to cook and clean like every other night, no offer from the ‘D’H to cook for her considering she’s looking after a newborn.
She’s missing the wood for the trees here.