My FIL rang me a few days ago several times, I was out and answered the 4th call - he asked if I was home I said no I had just left as out with kids. He said to tell him when he's home so he can collect our lawn mower.
i returned few hours later and told him I was home he came and collected.
found out through SIL few hours later he had broken it.
I messaged him teasing him saying I hear you're going to buy me a new mower. He just told me the blade needs replacing and B&Q can replace. I replied please don't make me chase you to fix this (he is notoriously lazy) as we have grass that needs cutting next weekend.
The next day I see ILS in person and the last mower is discussed with SIL myself and FIL. FIL
initially says MIL will replace it (I say no it should be you surely as they have somewhat seperate finances)
fil tells me to get my husband to buy a replacement. I say no it should be you as me or husband is the same thing. He said whenever he broke things as a child I replaced it. I said no it should be you (for me it's the principle, if it was offered initially without me getting involved I would have refused it and replaced it myself we have the money it's more the principle of borrowing without asking and no accountability whatsoever ever in anything. ) in any case I left and shortly after I recieved a WhatsApp message with the pictures of the new lawmower saying I will have the replacement tomrow.
my SIL has told me he is upset with me in how I spoke to him and shocked how I expected him to replace it. I expect there was some rudeness from my part but it's from a place of annoyance, frustration and genuine anger at the things my FIL has previously done regarding money with my husband and the general lack of taking responsibility.
i would say the shock comes from the fact I am genuinely a giver and always taking things and treating my in-laws and and generous in nature but it stings to hear that when I actually speak up on principle my FIL says he didn't like the way I spoke to him and I guess that's why he ordered the replacement.
i feel embarrassed that he thinks that and my husband is of the thinking I shouldn't have asked him to replace it he would have. But he told me this after it had happened.
AIBU or my FIL?
I feel like I have ruined my relationship with him. I think some of this is to do with culture too where the DIL is expected to oblige and the son should always provide for the parents.
i don't disagree but I do think someone should speak up. But now I think it has cost me how they view me.
any advice?