Neighbours kids playing outside early…

[FooFightersFan]

It’s the school holidays and I appreciate that by starting this thread I’m going to sound like a right grump, but here goes…

Our garden backs onto two houses, both of which are owned by couples with young kids. All four parents work from home full time.

The kids (youngest 3, all primary school aged) regularly play outside in the gardens. The houses are new build with literally no plants or shrubs. Just lawn surrounded by fence / brick walls. The noise just bounces around as there is nothing to ‘absorb’ it.

I accept that they are noisy when they play because they are young, energetic and kids!

Now that the school summer holidays are well under way, it’s become apparent that getting up and out into the garden at 8am is their routine. And they shout. A lot.
Then at 10am they go inside and there is silence for a while.

I can deal with it, I have 2 kids and I appreciate that’s what kids are like.

and here’s the “but”…

My son works full time and his room overlooks our back garden. He works 12 hour shifts a lot of days, in hospitality. Most shifts mean he is home around 11pm and in bed by midnight. He’s getting increasingly fed up with the neighbour kids’ morning routine.

During term time, the outside playing is just at the weekend. But now it’s a daily occurrence due to the holidays, I really feel for my son, because being woken up 90 mins before he needs to be up for his next shift is pretty miserable.

WIBU to message or pop round to my neighbours and see if they can encourage their kids to be quieter (a big ask) or to not let them out before 9:00.

I’ve become that grumpy neighbour 😩

It is early but legally you have no leg to stand on I'm afraid.
I wouldn't let my son out until 10am but that's because he makes a lot of noise..
All you can do is politely ask the neighbours (but risk alienating them) or suck it up and move rooms/put earplugs in.
Sounds like he is getting enough sleep though.

Surely they can play without screaming and shouting though.

I do agree that it's not worth the OP saying anything though. They are obviously happy to let their kids scream and shout in the garden at 8am.

Good job nobody on MN lives in a large metropolis. I am always surprised at the expectation that others living in an urban setting know or care about your personal issues. WFH , shift workers are the ones that have to adapt , not the rest of the population. There is a reason that 7am to 11pm are considered the noise boundaries. The entitled behaviour these days are crazy . Nineteen? Pleeeze

I'm ok with kids making a noise, that is what they tend to do if they are playing especially if they are outdoors. The ones on my road tend to be out in the early evening playing on the pavement one lot with a football and the other is a little girl who goes up and down the street for hours on her bike ringing the bell every other minute! It is a terraced street with houses that open straight out onto the pavement so the noise is very audible., they are nice kids and always pleasant if I speak to them. What I cannot stand is adults who really should know better who make endless noise with yelling, music, endless visitors who all yell too. That is what I have on one side of me, the noise starts at 11am and goes on to the early hours of the morning, every single day of the year. I have had two years of it and it has reduced me to tears at times. Ear plugs do help, but I resent having to wear ear plugs when I am cooking at 6pm.

This. Parenting has gone downhill something awful this past 15-20 years, I have 2 children (now mid-20s) and they NEVER screamed and squealed, Nope, they really didn't. They giggled and played and had a good time in the garden in the nice weather - but they NEVER screamed and squealed. And there was never a single complaint about them. Yet this seems to be a thing now with some children, SCREAMING! And the parents let them do it. It's absolutely terrible parenting.

Woman across the road from me has 3 children - aged 2 and a half, 4, and 6, and they scream incessantly some days. Some screams go on for a solid minute without the child taking a breath. And I have known a full 30 minutes of screaming from all the children, with hardly a break. Actually horrific. The 3 of them try to out-scream one another, and the mother is really brutish and coarse, and never speaks to the children properly. She just barks and shouts and snaps. So it's no surprise that the children are feral. She also does fuck-all about the screaming. I don't get it!

We are in the house opposite - some 125 feet away (around 40 yards,) including the 2 driveways and the road, and we can hear her kids screaming from our back garden, when they are inside the house with the windows closed! We can also hear them in their back garden - from inside our house with OUR windows closed. They are soooooo LOUD!

I pity their next door neighbours either side. One is joined on, one is not. The ones who are joined on live in the kitchen diner at the side, because the noise from the family is so unbearable (they are a couple in their early 60s, and one son aged 25.)

The other family - not joined on - can't go in their back garden now to relax/sunbathe/read etc, because of the noise from the 3 feral children, and often 4 other children - as the woman's 2 sisters bring their children around sometimes!

They are often in the garden from 7.30am to 9pm. (on and off mostly on!) Sometimes 3 children, sometimes 7, aged 2.5 to 8, screaming blue murder, bouncing up and down on the trampoline, splashing in the blow-up pool, playing on the bouncy castle, using the big plastic slide, and playing on the swings. Whilst SCREAMING 40-50% of the time they are out.

If they're not screaming, they're talking loudly, or shouting, OR the mum or one of the sisters is screaming or shouting. Awful family, badly behaved children, NO discipline. The mums never do anything with the children - just shove them in the garden, and no, it is NOT normal, or acceptable 'playing!'

I thank the Lord I don't live next door to them. I would have moved!

Anyone justifying this behaviour needs to give their head a wobble, and go on some kind of parenting course.

Honestly don't think you are being unreasonable. I think 8 am is early and I certainly wouldn't have let my child scream outside at that time, or indeed scream at all. When I'm out and about and there are shouty kids I can hear my mother's voice, 'Stop shouting'. She would have been right. We seem to have forgotten basic courtesy. Outside at 8 am, maybe. Outside shouting isn't acceptable at all.
My DP has a house like this where gardens back on to gardens. On of his neighbours has shouty children and a yappy dog. No-one seems to control them at all. Grim.

Literally sat here now. Inside the house with windows open listening to shouting, screeching and screaming and it's not even next door. It's up the road somewhere. Drives me mental. Love children playing. Love living in an area with children and young families but seriously if my DS had made that much noise... well they just wouldn't have.

Soonenough · Today 12:39
Good job nobody on MN lives in a large metropolis”

Our flat’s in a city centre. People don’t tend to walk about screaming.

Why should I adapt to your children's poor behaviour?

You sound rather defensive.

Screaming doesn't have to come with the territory. This constant screaming that some parents don't seem able to do anything about is a relatively new thing tbh. (Not necessarily saying your child screams constantly pp, I'm talking generally.)

I wasn't allowed to scream in the garden when I was little, and definitely wouldn't have been allowed to do it at an hour which is early for some people, regardless of the sanctimony on this thread. I still managed to have loads of fun playing outside and don't remember this being affected at all by not being allowed to scream. From what I can remember, my friends didn't run around the garden screaming either. Excited/noisy chatter, loud laughter, the occasional boisterous shout, yes of course. But not that ear-piercing shriek which imo should only happen when someone is hurt or frightened.

Why on earth should OP's son have to move bedrooms because his neighbours refuse to impose any discipline or limits on their children?

Yeah, that's an easy fix. 🙄

The point is a garden isn't a school playground or park. People's need to be considerate. High pitched screaming is NOT acceptable at any hour. And certainly not at 8 am.

Sounds more like you are.

Ear plugs and a white noise machine/fan to help create some background noise while he sleeps. I'm a light sleeper and this helps immensely with sleeping through noise.

He gets 8 hours sleep if he is home by midnight; surely if he is doing 12 hour shifts he needs to get up not that long after 8am anyway.
If you're that concerned swap rooms so he is one that doesn't overlook the garden.

I do think 8am is early and it would piss me off. However, unless they're making excessive noise (such as screaming competitions like my neighbours kids used to) you can't really do anything. It is just one off those things that you have to suffer through, complain about the little shits under your breath and pray they grow out of it.

8 am is hardly early.

@Sharptonguedwoman Kids playing outside at 8sm in the summer is normal NOT poor behaviour.

Hate mornings. Have had a lot of night shifts over the years.

Not neighbours' problem at 8 am.
Black curtains and earplugs.

Playing outside at 8 am, fine. Screaming-not fine. If these children were just playing, no-one would have a problem.

Kids are fully entitled to enjoy the use of their own gardens at 8am.

OP's son needs to move room, or use earplugs, or get a white noise machine.

Op what about people who work night shifts?

Shall they ask their neighbours to keep quiet the whole day because of that?

This. No way on earth would my parents let me do this as a child. We would also get told off for shouting in the middle of the day. I don’t let my children go out super early. Yeah it gets a bit much when they wake up early as it’s light and get bored of being in the house but as a parent it’s your job to manage that

I have a 3.5 year old. I think 8am is very early despite him getting up at 6.30am everyday. 9am would be the earliest we'd go in the garden.

And he makes noise, but not the screaming. If he gets a bit loudly repetitive I ask him to take it down a notch or two - and despite him being 3, I am teaching him about our neighbours and being respectful.

My Bengal, on the other hand, just will not be taught. She doesn't care about the neighbours. No respect at all that one.

Sorry but rules about neighbour noise all state that it should be kept to a minimum from 11pm to 7am and that construction work should not start before 7.30am.

If your son is bothered by it, he’ll need to get ear plugs because the fact that he does shiftwork, I’m afraid, cannot be used to dictate how others use their homes and gardens. So long as he is getting 7-8 hours sleep, he really doesn’t need to sleep past 8am.