Neighbours kids playing outside early…

[FooFightersFan]

It’s the school holidays and I appreciate that by starting this thread I’m going to sound like a right grump, but here goes…

Our garden backs onto two houses, both of which are owned by couples with young kids. All four parents work from home full time.

The kids (youngest 3, all primary school aged) regularly play outside in the gardens. The houses are new build with literally no plants or shrubs. Just lawn surrounded by fence / brick walls. The noise just bounces around as there is nothing to ‘absorb’ it.

I accept that they are noisy when they play because they are young, energetic and kids!

Now that the school summer holidays are well under way, it’s become apparent that getting up and out into the garden at 8am is their routine. And they shout. A lot.
Then at 10am they go inside and there is silence for a while.

I can deal with it, I have 2 kids and I appreciate that’s what kids are like.

and here’s the “but”…

My son works full time and his room overlooks our back garden. He works 12 hour shifts a lot of days, in hospitality. Most shifts mean he is home around 11pm and in bed by midnight. He’s getting increasingly fed up with the neighbour kids’ morning routine.

During term time, the outside playing is just at the weekend. But now it’s a daily occurrence due to the holidays, I really feel for my son, because being woken up 90 mins before he needs to be up for his next shift is pretty miserable.

WIBU to message or pop round to my neighbours and see if they can encourage their kids to be quieter (a big ask) or to not let them out before 9:00.

I’ve become that grumpy neighbour 😩

Oh, Bengals are a law unto themselves. Mine was the same. 😹

Are some people on here being deliberately obtuse?

NO-ONE minds children playing and having fun. Screaming blue murder, and shrill squealing, is NOT children 'playing and having fun.'

It sounds like a few posters on here would be DREADFUL neighbours! The level of entitlement coming across from some posters is just shocking! No-one should be having to use white noise machines, or earplugs, or 'move bedrooms' because some people CBA to parent their own children properly.

Their next door neighbours have my utmost sympathy.

Why does he need more than 8 hours sleep? Working 11 hours shifts does not make it essential to have ten hours sleep. What about him moving to a room at the front of the house for a further snooze at 8am if he wants it.

Children playing out in the summer at 8am is not unreasonable. For all you know they have been up since 6am running laps around the house.

So in other words, kids are 'fully entitled to enjoy the use of their own gardens' but OP's DS isn't entitled to get the rest he needs. Nice.

My DC were up at the crack of dawn, every fecking day.

They were not allowed in the garden until 10am and we're brought in at 7pm. They were not allowed to screech and shout, ever.

YANBU, 9am is a more reasonable time to make noise.

In the garden playing 8am quietly as in not screaming fine. It's the screaming and shouting that's just too much at that time.

I think that at 19, more than 8 hours sleep is pretty common.

Regardless, I don't think you can say much about the noisy play. Maybe ask if it can wait till 9am on Sunday, but they are within their rights.

On the plus side, you don't have to worry about any noise you want to make on your side.

I wouldn’t speak to your neighbours until your son has tried earplugs/white noise. I have the opposite problem where it’s the summer and lots of bbqs and parties happening around me. All normal noises and finishing around 11pm so nothing to complain about but my youngest has decided a 4am start is what’s going to happen so I’m shattered and heading to bed at 8.30pm every night. I borrow the kids white noise machine and sleep with earplugs and an eye mask because otherwise there’s no way I’ll be able to sleep.

Screaming kids in general are awful to listen to though so YANBU with that but equally a good relationship with the neighbours is priceless so it would take a lot to raise this as an issue with them.

Our house became amazingly silent inside when we got new double glazing. It was actually pin drop quiet. Could you get your son a new window and maybe also some really thick curtains with thermal blackout lining from John Lewis? He's be soundproofed in then.

With this outlook, what do you suggest for family's with children that live next door to people that work through the night and sleep during the day? That they shouldn't be able to play outside at all?

Your son can get good earplugs - problem solved.
I used to work nights, snd would’t dream of asking neighbours to be quiet during my sleep time.
Enjoying the garden at 8am is not unreasonable al all, asking your neighbours to stop would be

I understand your sons upset, OP, but I had this problem and simply bought some earplugs.
I tried a few types but the ones I prefer are made of silicon and mold to your ears like a wax. Trial and error a bit but there are earplugs for all out there.

OP white noise can work wonders. I’ve slept with a fan on for years. Take it with me when I go away now!

Of course not. Ideally a compromise would be worked out but in that scenario it would be more reasonable to suggest the night worker try earplugs, white noise etc.

Similarly I think OP's neighbours should be willing to work out some sort of compromise. It's the summer holidays, the DC have got all day to play out, and not making noise at 8 isn't a massive ask.

All of those solutions are very expensive when OP's neighbours could simply ask their kids to play quietly or indoors first thing in the morning.

8am is fine but I’m assuming you are talking about children playing, not screaming

Unfortunately there's not much you can do, I'd hate this as well though! Having breakfast in the garden or playing but not making a huge amount of noise is alright, but loud shrieking at 8am or enough noise to disturb someone next door is selfish. Plenty of selfish parents about though so not surprising!

Not unreasonable it's because they are shrieking I expect and not just playing. No one teaches their kids not to scream anymore. White noise is great

Move to a rural area for peace and quiet in the morning is the silliest advice ever. Wildlife, farmers, and farm animals all get up and start making noise a lot earlier than 8 am. At some times of the year farmers might be working in the fields well into the night too.

You literally love the sound of them screaming? As opposed to the sound of them simply playing? Although it seems to me that a lot of people don't distinguish between the two these days...

Because they can't be arsed to parent.

Yes she can, they need to be as considerate as other people should be late at night because they've got kids. Its swings and roundabouts.

I'd go and talk to them op.

I have the same detest for the morning screams. I am unsure why people think it's unreasonable to put boundaries in place for children who's parents think their children screaming off the top of their lungs non-stop is acceptable behaviour. Especially in the morning hours.

I used to work shifts too, I didnt live in a great neighbourhood, talking to kid's parents made things worse so I used those foamy earplugs which worked surprisingly well.

I disagree with the majority by the looks of it. I do think 8am is too early to be running outside screaming. Anyone who was remotely considerate of neighbours would keep them inside until a more reasonable time. Our neighbours are the same so any chance of a lie in on a weekend has disappeared. However, I wouldn’t go around and ask them to keep them inside as it is likely to lead to sour relations.