Is this just OTT?

[jugglesandspins]

DD has just finished Year 1 at school. Earlier in the week a card arrived in the post. I knew it was from SIL because I immediately recognised the handwriting. It was addressed to 6 year old DD.

The card was a "congratulations" card and read along the lines of well done for completing another year of school. SIL then writes I know you will have done AMAZING in every aspect of her learning journey. She then writes in capital letters how PROUD I AM OF YOU and signs it off with lots of love, hugs and a zillion kisses.

Inside the card are photos of SIL with messages on the back saying love you lots etc.

Now, for context, I have a very strained relationship with SIL. I do not instigate contact with her as she has been incredibly rude to me. I just feel that the message in this card was a tad inappropriate and her trying, yet again, to get one over on me. We haven't got DD a card, but have told her we are very proud of her school report she got. When DD opened it, she asked where her card was from us.

I'm probably being unreasonable in this instance and perhaps reading into something that isn't there, but just feel the message and card is way over the top?

I just feel that the message in this card was a tad inappropriate and her trying, yet again, to get one over on me.
If this is the sort of thing that you take issue with then there’s every chance the problem is you not SIL. There is nothing inappropriate about the message or the card.
A card addressed to DD saying congratulations sounds absolutely fine, I’m sure she was delighted to receive grown up post.

She’s previously told DD that she’s her mum so yeah the problem is me!

I’d say it’s OTT. It’s year one - not graduating from university!!

Cringe worthy, SIL is OTT.

OTT. One of my sisters did stuff like this, my DD initially thought Aunty MissionRose was great but now she’s a teenager she finds her completely fake and far prefers her other Aunts. It’s tiresome but just ignore and try not to let it get to you.

Slightly OTT
However, sounds more like a you problem, I'm sure your daughter would have been happy to receive such a nice card in the post
Why not leave it at that?

She’s previously told DD that she’s her mum so yeah the problem is me!

I'm sure if you'd put that in your post you'd get a very different answer from people.

Here’s hoping.

Drip drip drip...

Upon first reading the post, I thought what a lovely thing to do! How thoughtful and caring. The fact you have little or no contact yet she's had the forethought to do this is lovely..

You are going to have to explain why she has told DD she's her mum?

Does SIL have any kids? If so, I’d do the same for her kids but make sure the card is even larger, has a few more kisses in it.

I’d wait, but what I’d hope happens at the end of next year is that SIL responds to your daughter with an even bigger card, then you repeat again with a bigger card, etc.

Really, what I’m trying to do is just see how large a card you can push her into sending, or whether at some point she’ll just accept defeat.

It’s the long game.

Yes 1.

You are being unreasonable. She was writing a card to a six year old, so it's natural to use more effusive language.

You are just annoyed because you felt she showed you up.

Ofcourse it's OTT.

Who sends a card to a child congratulating them on something 1/ that is compulsory & 2/ every other child does to!

Maybe if you graduate high school or university as valedictorian or top of the class, but bog standard school..... no-one sends a card! It's batshit.

Precisely. Batshit indeed.

I think it's lovely and I do similar and so does my family. The language used is always emphasised when they are younger. One of my sister's always has something inside the card like millions of stars or love hearts , usually all glittery and shiny 🥰

Yes, it is OTT. If you send cards and gushing messages for every small event, it dilutes the impact when you want to send them for genuine achievements and celebrations.

Tbh if I’d have seen it was her handwriting I would’ve binned it. I mean because you clearly dont like her.

It is definitely OTT.

I would have to laugh and still be happy for my child and the enjoyment they got from it though 🤷 I'd always be happy for my child to have family that think about them, even if I think their delivery it OTT. How nice for your DD and hopefully she'll grow to have a good relationship with her auntie. They will have a relationship separate to yours and I wouldn't be threatened by that.

That's a lovely thing for her to have done. As a child it's aways exciting to receive a letter addressed to you!

How in any shape or form you think that's her getting one over on you is beyond me.

Yes it’s completely OTT. How old is her child?

Don’t tell Hallmark they’ll make it into a thing

What an utterly bizarre thing to do.

Sounds like she's trying to wind you up. Don't let her.

12

Exactly. It's lovely for your daughter, put her before yourself. Its her Aunty.

That’s quite the drip feed!

. When DD opened it, she asked where her card was from us.

well if I was 6yo and asked my mum where the card from her was my mum would’ve told me straight that I wasn’t getting one and why.

it’s OTT to send a card for completing the school year no matter who it’s from, you just tell your child to say thanks to her auntie but not to expect this from you or other people