Work cf stories. Anyone else work cheeky fuckers?

[PizzaFecker]

Our business has passed an important audit so we ordered dominos for lunch.
Enough dominos pizza to give everyone 1/2 a pizza each and sides and drinks.

Total cost was £450.

One of the senior managers just had to have a word with one of the other senior leadership team that putting 3 entire pizzas, sides and a drink in his car because 'he wanted to take it home for his family and would freeze the leftovers' isn't appropriate when the admin staff haven't even had chance to get any pizza yet.

Our work generally have No issues with people taking leftovers but not when other people haven't even had lunch yet!!

Anyone else work with cheeky bastards?

I bought a vegan pizza once it was inedible. Even my dog struggled but ate it anyway because she was a greedy devil 😅

And he knew it was free @AzureAnt 😂

Not tricky at all. She may do your PM review, however all you need to do is challenge that review if its bad, speak to your Union Rep. If they get involved and see that she gave you a bad review but can't proove why, then she is then in serious trouble. She would have to hvae tried to give you advice before giving you a bad review. That advice should be recorded. Get your union rep involved.

The only way to stop lunch stealers is to grind up some laxatives and conceal them in the food. The stealer with then be outed by the amount of toilet visits they make after the lunch break 🤣

Don't know how long ago this was, but now you'd get in much more trouble for not highlighting his behaviour.. Your boss should have been given the opportunity to tell the client it was bang out of order. We recently had the exact same thing happen except it wasn't the director of the client's company it was a person in procurement who was taken out to dinner. Our sales person informed our director and the client's employee lost their job when we spoke director to director. The client has remained woth us and we were told (unofficially) from the director, that they knew he did it, but had no proof, and had wanted to get rid of him before. He's now really happy with us, because we told the truth at the risk of loosing that contract. (Contract worth roughly 30 million for a 5 year service contract).

If this was a business related event and within the last 10 years at least, then her claim isn't for fuel, it's a set amount per mile including wear and tear. If she was taking you she would have got an extra 5p per mile and she had to have a policy which included business mileage.
If you want to get any revenge, speak to your HR team or the Director with that responsibility.

It definitely does seem to be the senior and better paid folk who are the most grabby for freebies! Since we started hybrid working, the office is like a ghost town on a Friday, so to encourage more people to come in management decided to provide free pastries on a Friday morning. It’s always the guys on six figure salaries hovering round the kitchen for ages before, and then piling their plates with 4 or 5 pastries when they arrive, whilst the lower paid admins who have to stay working at their desks until the pastries arrive end up with nothing!

Nor me.

The worst one I remember was a partner in a law firm stealing someone's packed lunch from the fridge.

I just absolutely boggled at it and it stuck with me.

Sadly far too many.
As the then marketing manager of a small retail chain one supplier, who I got on with really well, called in the new year and asked if I'd enjoyed the single malt she'd left for me as a Christmas gift. I knew nothing about this. On checking with receptionist turns out twatty company owner had bagged all the gifts that came in for me - several bottles and boxes of chocs. When she found out she made sure I got another bottle and gave it to me in front of the twat.
That same Christmas the owner helped himself to a lot of stock to use as presents. But he hadn't checked them out and come stock take the shit hit the fan and bag searches were instigated. He was the ugliest human being I've ever encountered - a real nasty piece of goods.

Another was when I was goods-in admin working on the warehouse floor. A supplier offered to get all of goods-in a good quality branded fleece each - it could be bloody freezing. Only they were delivered to the office and the bitch who's FiL owned the place nabbed them and gave them to the office girls to give to their partners to 'do the gardening in'. Luckily the rep clocked what had happened and handed them to us personally next time.

Both millionaires, I am so so tempted to name the pair of them.

So, I have a hip conditionand I used to work in the contact centre of a large, multi national company in a mixed role ( mainly PA to the manager, property and some finance )
As my condition progressed I was in a lot of pain due to the chair/ desk setup. My line manager got Occupational Health involved and they assessed me for the Gvmt scheme ( Help to Work maybe ? It was a long time ago ) where the Government will pay for specific equipment to enable people to stay in employment if they have a disability or health problem.
So a specialist came to my work place came out to assess my work station, chair, access to toilets and kitchen ect. I was approved for an adjustable desk , moved to the my own office on the ground floor and measured for a bespoke chair with a much deeper seat and an integral leg rest for each leg. Perfect and a great example of Occupational Health really making a difference. Until ........I had a hospital appointment one morning and when I got to work my chair was missing and a bog standard chair was in its place. I rang around the various offices to track it down and the new Team Lead of the outbound team had it - and told me in no uncertain terms that he was keeping it !
Daft sod hadnt realised that I was a direct report to the Centre manager who backed me up immediately, but this CF still refused to give it back, happily he stated this on email. I sent his reply on to Occy Health, HR, my manager and the director that my manager reported to, then as I had no safe working area Occy Health directed me to leave work until my chair was returned.
Apparently the director called my manager who took our security guard up with him and physically removed the chair from him. I was told later that he had also been creaming off money from his staff incentives AND helping himself to other peoples lunches from the kitchen.
Happily I was there as note taker during the meeting in which he was told that he had failed his probation and why 😃

There was a threshold for sick days, they took the maximum every year. When it changed to number of absences, their sick leave pattern changed too. That was just one example. They knew the HR policies by heart and took every scrap they could wing.

My dad told me that he went to work at a local authority in the early 1970s. The sick policy was one week of paid sick leave for every completed year of employment. His first year was completed, and the boss, (the Chief Finance Officer), dropped by his desk and said 'You've done a year, let me know when you want to take your week'. Dad said 'Er, you want to know when I'll be ill?' Boss said 'Well, kind of, everybody has their weeks'. One woman had accumulated 26 weeks, and she took them!

am part of a team organising a massive sports event with hundreds of volunteers and only 3 or 4 paid people involved - guess who is ALWAYS first to appear when the lunch delivery is made, before it is bagged up for volunteers. Don't even get me started on thank you treats for volunteers ...

Years ago when moving from a flat to somewhere else we put all our big stuff in storage.

The first storage manager was a woman and she was a brilliant manager and well liked and respected by staff and customers. Lovely lady with an hilarious sense of humour but she was also tough. She then left to become cabin crew for a well-known airline.

Then we got this dickhead in, male, totally in love with himself, thought he was a gift to Mankind. Treated his hard working staff ... the same ones that were treated well by the woman manager ... like filth.

We had our storage unit for almost 2 years but while Mr Dickhead was awkward with us, the staff continued to stick with us so once it was time for us to leave the unit we bought 7 bottles of champagne, 1 each for the staff and the manager but we found out later, thanks to one of the lady staff quietly telling us, he nabbed all 7 for himself before the other staff could even see the bottles!

Arsehole!

There was an equity partner at our firm (he was later removed from the partnership for not doing enough work but that's another issue) who was an absolute greedy gannet with food. Oddly he was quite a nice chap otherwise.

If anyone brought in cakes for their birthday they'd try and let everyone else know before he noticed as he was like a human hoover. One time someone had brought in a Victoria sponge cake and a coffee cake which would have been plenty for our department (about 12 of us). Gannet unfortunately spotted them as soon as they were put out and came over and cut a huge piece of Victoria sponge, almost a third of the cake! One of the secretaries exclaimed "oi, you can't do that" and he just pulled a sulky face and said "but I don't like coffee cake and I was worried there wouldn't be enough of the other one" and trotted off to fill his piggy face. He never brought in cake when it was his birthday though!

If we can client meetings that went over lunchtime, there would be a sandwich platter. This cost usually went onto the client's bill as a disbursement. It was customary to offer the platter to the clients first. However, Gannet would watch the platter coming in and as soon as it was on the table he would stand and lunge for his favourite (tuna) and pick up all four triangles at once, removing all of that option. The first time I saw it I was so shocked. On later occasions I witnessed the shock on the client's faces. This was a bloke earning drawings of £250k a year ago could have afforded to buy as many tuna sandwiches as he wanted!

While I know you are joking, spiking food as a trap for a thief is a criminal offence for which people have been prosecuted in the past.

Far safer to stick to chili sauce - if you can say you actually intended to eat the item, there’s no case.

urgh - i have so many - One colleague always got 'signed' off sick when on holiday to extend holiday by weeks - the last one he 'broke his leg' - all lies as he actually just told me he didn't want to come back and has a dr friend who helps him, i know some who steal toilet paper and soaps, quite a few who 'pretend' their Christmas gift never arrived so will get an extra one (our company is generous with gifts - most cost over £100), and a few who oder more food at company do's to take home.

If they were any good as a Medium they should have seen it coming!

How would it ever be proved that you got the squits from food nicked from your work colleagues? Who would have the balls to complain?!

And could be risky too! I wouldn't go and shove my hands in someone else's lunch anyway because I'm not a dirty fucking scrote, but I especially wouldn't if I knew very well they had serious, dangerous allergic reactions.

Generally the cross over between the sort of person who has the balls to steal from colleagues and the sort of person who then has the balls to complain about the food is not zero.

Also, if the person has a bad reaction and ends up in hospital, it may all come out.

There are perfectly legal ways to alter food. It just seems silly to to use a way that could result in the victim of the theft being sacked for gross misconduct / prosecuted but you do you.

Yes, that makes sense.

Yes I think.hot chilli sauce is the way to go. It's not illegal and you couldn't be prosecuted for bringing it in to work. An old favourite saying of my mothers and one that doesn't seem be relevant nowadays is "on your own head be it"
I say it's not relevant because yoi read so many stories of people claiming compo for doing stupid things off their own back

There is ALWAYS someone like that in every workplace. Ethically & morally bereft, constantly on the take. This is a big part of why I prefer WFH, not having to witness that type of behaviour.

@DoorPath This was in 1995. And I assure you the chair was £7.99 and the plant pot (no plant) was plastic and £1.99. All from Sainsbury's Superstore.