Mums guilt ,pls no shaming

[ivise]

Hello, long story short, my little one is starting reception this year . She still doesn't recognise letters or can't spell or read ,same with numbers she can count and write by following dots but she doesn't really recognise them . I have started to teach her to recognise numbers ,but not sure if I will be able to do with letters as I don't know what is correct way to do so . Is this normal or she should know all this by now? She turned 4 in June . Pls don't shame me . We always read books and play, lots of outdoor activities. She doesn't really like sitting down and learning for long periods.I am not worried in her progression . Just thinking if I haven't neglected her learning skills :/

OP, your DD sounds perfect and amazing, just like her momma!

You will come across people claiming their children are geniuses- reading Charles dickens novels and solving long multiplication at age 3 🙄 it’s generally made up nonsense!!

As others have said, it’s far more important for them to be ready to learn when they go to school than know it all. Being able to sit, listen, follow instructions, ask for help, dress and undress themselves, go to the toilet, open their own lunch, etc is FAR more important.

You will encounter some children who can’t do any of this but have been taught to write in capital letters so the teacher then has double the job of teaching all of this and undoing their way of writing. Usually the parents of children above! And a school nursery is no different to any other- they all have the same guidance!

If you are worried, this might be helpful to have a look at. It’s a document nursery and school use to assess children. Have a look at the pages for children aged 3-4 and if you are concerned there are ideas of how to help your DD. Please focus on the first 3 areas of learning. They are known as the prime areas. The following 4 specific areas will follow, but if they don’t have the prime areas embedded then children aren’t ready to learn the specific x

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/64e6002a20ae890014f26cbc/DfE_Development_Matters_Report_Sep2023.pdf

When our May born son started reception in September, the very first comment in his reading journal on day 1, was that he ‘struggled to read words out of context’. I was genuinely shocked as although he knew his letters, he definitely could not yet read. Fast forward a year or 2, and he was on the school’s ’gifted and talented’ track. (another nonsense)

When his younger brother started nursery at 3, he could read fluently. The same school refused to give him books with words in to read as he was ‘too young’ 🥴

My DS is a few months older but he is going to do another year of nursery (Scotland so it is very much encouraged) and I would say he is a bit more interested in letters but only because he sees all us writing. However his speech is very delayed and he has no confidence in a crowd at all. My eldest refused to write a thing before school, even his own name and he is thriving now 4 years later.

They all develop at their own rates and the focus before school is much more on independent toileting, putting jackets on, listening to teachers, being able to choose lunch.

Honestly OP you have nothing to worry about.

Just the fact that you are worrying about this, shows what a great mum you are.

My best advice, which was given to me too, was to read to your child.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a kids book, magazine, car manual, book of works records etc. it’s whatever your kid enjoys and if they enjoy listening to you, they will find learning to read easier and more enjoyable.

Even when they can read, continue to keep reading to them too.

Honestly, I wish I hadn't worried as much as I did when mine were at that stage.

DS started YR unable to recognise letters, barely able to count - and he's September born, so almost 5 when he started.

DD started YR one year later - reading pretty fluently, and able to complete simple sums.
She'd just turned 4.

They're now 16 and 15.
DS has just done his GCSEs, very high predictions, and very high achieving.

DD is middling, and really needs to up her game!

How they are at 4yo bears absolutely no resemblance to how they turn out in the long term.
Please don't worry.

I wouldn’t worry my 20 yo couldn’t sit still - his first target in reception was to sit on the carpet for 2 mins! He spent most of reception dressed up as either a policeman or fireman (from the dressing up box!) Could count to 20 and sing the alphabet - but was fascinated by animals and being outside so that what we did before he started school lots of art using leaves, making little houses in the garden for creatures, collecting sticks and rocks!! Lots of what colour is that flower? silly stuff like what noise do you think a worm makes??

Fast forward 16 years post reception he did brilliantly at alevel and is now at uni training to be a teacher (primary school). The point is most children will get where they need to be in their own way at their own time. If there is some issue then let the experts tell us if there is a barrier to learning or something is not quite right - enjoy the time you have now, and don’t stress 😀.

Keep doing what you are doing and don’t worry! The most important thing at this age is reading with your child. You sound like a very caring mum who wants the best for her child. My dd couldn’t really read before she started school but she progressed quickly. I used to go in and help with reading. The difference across the class was huge in the autumn term but had really narrowed by summer.

My child doesn't know this either and he is turning 5 in October and I'm a foundation stage teacher! 😂 He hasn't learned it yet in preschool so why would I teach him. He starts P1 in September (reception). He will learn all of this in school and if he is struggling to grasp new concepts then I will of course help & support him. As a teacher I always recommend lots of shared reading at home and learning through play. Talking to your child and sharing lots of experiences. Encouraging independence as well as learning how to share and take turns. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. Children are little sponges, they are soaking up knowledge all the time. They are so young, definitely no need to stress about learning at this stage.