Mums guilt ,pls no shaming

[ivise]

Hello, long story short, my little one is starting reception this year . She still doesn't recognise letters or can't spell or read ,same with numbers she can count and write by following dots but she doesn't really recognise them . I have started to teach her to recognise numbers ,but not sure if I will be able to do with letters as I don't know what is correct way to do so . Is this normal or she should know all this by now? She turned 4 in June . Pls don't shame me . We always read books and play, lots of outdoor activities. She doesn't really like sitting down and learning for long periods.I am not worried in her progression . Just thinking if I haven't neglected her learning skills :/

@Lmnop22 thank you so much for. Wow your son is doing well .
I am sure she will be fine . I just wanted to make sure if I am doing ok to make her life a bit easier at school , didn't want to neglect her on anything .

Hi OP. I have two kids that have been through reception fairly recently and I still remember what the reception teacher told us before they started, about getting them ready for school

Play games with them like snakes and ladders. This will get them counting, and more importantly get them used to winning and losing.

Once they can count start to work on place value in everyday life. Like 'I have ten sweets, you have nine, who's got more to eat'

It's good if they can recognise the letters in their name. See if you can write them down and cut them out, and get them to colour them in and stick them down in the right order. It doesn't matter much if they can't recognise their name as their pegs all had a picture of them or an animal or something so they could recognise theirs.

Bud up fine motor control for writing - this can be playdoh, colouring, threading beads onto string to make necklaces, lego, sticking sequins...anything 'fiddly' that they have to concentrate on.

Practice following instructions especially more than one at a time 'go to the toilet and then put your shoes on so we can go out'

Practice doing coats and shoes etc and all the rest of their clothes if they have to get changed for pe at school

Read to them, take them to the library etc

Sure your daughter will be fine, she is only 4 and lots of countries with better educational outcomes than the UK don't start formal education til later.

I knew a few kids who could read and write before reception who were bored. My daughters nursery taught her to write letters...in a different way to how she learned at school so they had to get her out of all her bad habits! As it's not just about how the letters look but about how you form them, to get used to joined up writing in the future

Honestly OP you will have a different child by Christmas. Don’t worry.

Oh also play a lot of 'I spy'...it teaches them to think about letters at the start of words so helps with spelling.

If you want to do letters then maybe do one or two letters a week, Google supersonic phonic friends. And make it fun, whoever spots the most 't' s at the shops gets a prize type of thing, rather than sitting and learning at a table

OP - don’t worry - she will be fine - she’s so little still, just get her ready for school she’s got 12-14 years of education ahead of her to get those things right.

mum guilt - my 17 yo (with no additional needs) is quite incapable of telling left from
right 🫣🤣

@DrinkFeckArseBrick thank you so much , this really helps .
I will try that game with her , so far she didn't like snake and ladders ,only memory games . Even puzzles she loves puzzles but not with numbers and letters 😁
And one big thing she really is bad at loosing , I really don't know how to change that . I don't know why but she literally will get upset if I say u lost . I tried read book about that and explain but still 😄

I have worked in many a reception class and your dd sounds very normal.

The best thing you can do in preparation for September is to try and make sure she can put her own coat on, change into her PE kit, and manage in the toilet by herself.

@DrinkFeckArseBrick and yes I am from European country and we only started school at age 6-7 . Some could obv read and wrote but not many . Till then it was kindergarten

I didn't know teaching your child letters and numbers before starting school was a thing. I certainly never taught my kids and my mother never taught me. We all learnt fine when we got to school

@AzureAnt I didn't know too till I saw on the internet. That is why Its best to not scroll on the internet,makes u crazy 😁

Teachers are there to teach. Load of bullocks all this teaching tiny tots how to read and write before they even start school.

Make her ‘school ready’ by teaching skills such as :

able to toilet / wipe own bottom alone

able to put own shoes / plimsoles on and off

able to put own coat on and off

able to change for P.E. independently

understands the concept of taking turns from playing board games etc.

able to use a knife / fork / spoon and/ or open containers in lunch box

able to listen and follow simple instructions 1 part ‘sit on the carpet’ and 2 part such as ‘collect your milk then sit on your chair’

when an adult speaks - you listen

teach them to love stories / books.

**
learning to read and write will happen at school if a child is ready to learn and has basic life skills. School is designed to teach reading writing arithmetic etc… but they can’t do this if children don’t have basic social / personal skills.

OP please don't worry. Prior to reception pre-phonics skills are more important than worrying about her recognising letters. Concentrate on her speech and language by talking about everything, singing nursery rhymes and reading stories to her. You can also play games with objects/images that rhyme and encourage her to name them and listen carefully to find which is the odd one out/doesnt rhyme- eg cat/ hat/mat/dog. She will then be ready to learn phonics with whatever programme the school use. Also don't panic if you get sent home her first reading book and it has no words to read. It is to strengthen pre-phonics skills by talking about what they can see. She will make great progress.

These things are not expected at her age it's most copying. Does she know some colours recognise animals able to put her Jacket on use a cup, this is the sort of things school will expect not whether she can read or write.

Please do not worry at all. My son had just finished reception and was one of the oldest in the year (September born) so was nearly 5 when he started. He was completely disinterested in reading, writing etc before school but by the end of the year has come on so well. I've another son starting in sept (August born) and he is exactly the same and a younger in the year like yours so I have barely even given it a second thought. My plan is to let him run around and enjoy the summer of play!
Our school actually said they prefer parents not to try and teach them as they may use different methods which are hard for the children to change once they have learnt them! Let the teachers do their magic!

My DD started Reception aged 4 and 4 weeks (not even 1 month) and couldn't even say her own name let alone spell it, she could count to 3 only.

She starts in Year 6 in September (just turned 10) and is working above expectations in Maths and can read and write at the level for her age.

Please don't worry, it has no affect on how they will progress through school! I couldn't believe how far DD came on in Reception.

I wouldn’t worry at all OP. To be ready for school it’s useful if your child can: eat and go to the toilet independently, find and put on their coat, get changed for PE. I’d not worry too much about letters and numbers because often parents are teaching their child differently, they have to undo some incorrect learning. Instill a love of reading if you can, it helps so much if a child can grasp reading.

That's why she's going to reception class! She's only just turned 4 you really don't need to worry about it. Just keep on reading to her, and counting up to 10 but as a game.

Concentrate more on practical things over the summer like going to the toilet and washing hands independently and taking shoes and coat on and off without help.

@BryanAdamsMuddyCassocks I hope so , I don't want it to be all about learning as they have plenty of years ahead of them to do that plus she loves her outdoor activities and different kind of games

I work in reception, it's absolutely fine, she sounds perfectly normal!
I'm grateful if they can -
Go to the toilet independently

Recognise and put on their own coat

Follow simple instructions

Play somewhat co-operatively .

If you want to do anything over summer I'd suggest rhyming games and counting things while you're out. Anything else we're going to probably teach differently anyway.

Enjoy the summer with her, I'd give a lot to have mine that age and home with me again.

Shame you for what? She's only 4!

@Kneeslikethese thank you so much teacher 😇
We still trying to learn on how to loose without being so upset . She is my only child and yes I will def try that