To ask why you live in the UK?

[Hungryhippo12]

I will start off by saying I love the English countryside, the beaches, most of the people but I’m having a hard time deciding if it’s worth living here anymore. We’ve got the opportunity now to move abroad and I know the grass is not greener and I’ll be incredibly sad to leave but….

We pay a huge amount of tax (top tax band) and it’s not spent on tangible things we benefit from- for example I have no problem if it goes into the NHS or to people who can’t work etc but it’s not; millions of pounds gets spent on things that do not improve the lives of people in our country and then they wonder why people become resentful of paying all the taxes we do.

My children can’t just go out and play as knife crime is rife where we are , as is bullying, fighting and uploading the video etc

Everything seems disproportionately expensive as compared to earnings- for example, rent, mortgage , bills etc out disposable income is a lot smaller than say ten years ago despite earning a lot more.

I love our community, I strangely love the English weather but I’m finding things hard. There were riots in the city near where we live last week. The country just seems abit broken and a lot of unrest.

I read posts on here - especially ones about private school VAT - and people seem angry, hateful of those with more and kindness
seems to have been lost.

Is this just what England is now?

Oh here we go the UK is dreadful compared to the rest of the world as our citizens we must have a least one of these threads weekly 🙄🙄

Doesn't New Zealand have a record high crime and drugs problem? Unaffordable housing and high cost of living?

All my family and friends are here and I speak the language I guess?

DH would like to move somewhere else because yes, the country is very fucked up, but I won't because my mum is not going to live to a ripe old age. Also I wouldn't move anywhere south of the Equator (drought and extreme weather is only going to get worse) and I'm not moving to the USA which is even more fucked up than we are. I don't want to learn a new language and I'm not fluent in anything else, so that leaves Ireland and Canada, which everyone wants to move to. We're Jewish so could move to Israel, but we hate the current government, feel much safer here thanks (even if it were not in the situation it is right now), and it's also going to become unlivably hot and dry in the foreseeable future.

Also, I do like England and don't actually want to leave, especially London - the arts, culture, history, it's pretty awesome. I am feeling a bit bouyed by new government.

FWIW, I feel my kids are pretty safe - sometimes in London it's what you make it. There's some knife crime around here but honestly, unless your kids are directly mates with the kids who are carrying those knives, they're unlikely to be affected. I dare say there are such kids at my children's school - but they are not hanging out with those kids and won't get caught up in that. Yes, they may have to hand over money or a phone if they were mugged kind of affected by knife crime - but they will never be caught up in a grudge match and stabbed.

So no plans to leave, though I find myself sadly in agreement with DH that we might want to advise kids to seek their fortunes outside UK when they finish their education. If so, maybe I'd move to follow them. Would also consider it if my fear happens that after this government, we get a hard swing back next election to awful, populist Conservatism that might decide to follow the Trump trajectory, which I think is a possibility.

Don't post in AIBU if you are actually after helpful advice!

If you're interested in NZ in particular then you need advice from people who have emigrated there with similar jobs and see what advice they'd have for you.

I have never seen that in England either and I live in a fairly deprived area.

I live in the UK for the same reasons that you do I suspect OP. I was born and raised here and my family is here.

It's not as easy for most people to just up and go - you are lucky in that respect - and so they stay.

I agree a different area might be a good start - your area doesn't sound great!

Maybe give the new government a chance first before you leave though OP - we need your skills here!

Neither does my area @ByFlakyHazelTiger

I live here because I was born here

This, for us. We would LOVE to leave the UK but we cannot transfer our qualifications and I have a pretty expensive medical condition so I doubt other places would want me (which is fair enough). If somebody offered me a visa to Canada or USA along with a well paying job I would bite their hand off.

Married a British man. I'm from South East Asia. I want to move to an EU country but the grass isn't always greener.

One thing I've noticed working in a lot of other countries is that few are as open to foreigners as the UK.

OP if you have skills in demand elsewhere I'd just leave, you can always return indeed for many professions an international career isn't unusual.

I don't really like the US, salaries may be higher but it's massive and takes ages to travel between places.

It’s been pointed out I’ve written on the wrong page-

Thank you for those replies that have been really helpful.

Off I pop now. 👋

Be fair, riots is overstating it a bit. It was a horrible disturbance in Harehills for one night, but not exactly violence and looting and prolonged disorder.

I chose to live in the U.K. because of the EU - travel was easy, study or work in many different countries was east, it made the whole country more cosmopolitan. It gave me and my family more opportunities than the other countries we were citizens of.

Obviously I regret the loss of all those benefits, and the U.K. is pretty shite now. But there’s a new government, so perhaps the decline of the last decade and a half will stop.

Can you rent out your house for a couple of years and move, see how it goes, OP?

You need to find the Living Overseas board

My family in Sydney and Brisbane certainly see their fair share of crime

YABU to put UK in your title when you mean England...

Indeed. I live in the Scotland part of the UK. I love living here because:

All my family and friends live here
Its very beautiful
I live in a lovely town with a great community
All the schools are good.
Loads of great facilities, culture, history, etc all close by
There is very little crime
My children have gone out to play since they were 6 including travelling to school by themselves.

But

I pay more tax than you do in England thanks to the Scottish Government
Your weather in England is far better than Scotland

Hopefully we will get a new government in few years but I will have to put up with the weather.

PS there are lots of areas of England I would happily live in too.

Yes we could move within the UK but we need to be near a hospital for our work.

And………. you haven’t been able to find other hospitals because……..?

I left London years ago and probably won’t move back permanently because of a number of factors but I haven’t moved far and I do go back frequently. God, London in the summer, can not be beaten. Greenwich, I’ll see you in ten days!!!

OP run … you’ll be slated for wanting an honest discussion. They will pull you apart for saying the UK not England, for questioning if other countries are better and every word you write will be scrutinised on a word by word basis . Run whilst you can 🤣

I have lived in Africa and Asia and people don’t realise how lucky they are. Laws relating to equality for women, employment law etc just don’t exist in lots of countries. Also, being able to vote is a big bonus for me and also habeus corpus. Things here aren’t perfect but both places I have lived before didn’t have great human rights records. Living abroad is great until something bad happens like you get raped or your kid gets cancer or there’s a regime change and your family is on the wrong side. I love the UK, I wasn’t born here but I feel privileged to be allowed to call it my home. I am a high rate tax payer and I contribute willingly because I really appreciate what I’m buying for myself and for my child.

I think you need to move area not country, if you possibly can. I don’t recognise what is ‘normal’ for where you are (and feel very glad for that).

I’ve lived in other countries and always felt ridiculously homesick and so happy to come back again at the end.

I live here because my family do (both mine and husbands). If they lived elsewhere we'd probably move. I'd go anywhere, but I know I couldn't leave them.

Without that restraint I'd definitely move. I would probably retrain in something that can be done anywhere rather than having to be near a city. Not too far from a city to visit though.

I also quite like the weather. I know that sounds nuts. But generally not too hot or too cold, and the seasons are nice.

I live here because it's my home and the grass really isn't greener everywhere else.Other countries also have violent crime including a lot of gun crime.
I also strongly believe that things will start to get better over time now that we have a new government.
New Zealand does sound nice but it is a very long way from everywhere else so more difficult to travel anywhere else, the UK has the whole of Europe on it's doorstep.

Why not?

I live in the U.K.,

As a family we were offered the option to move to America (didn't because of guns) and Switzerland (rejected but only after much thought)

I have also done short stints in Africa and parts of Asia.

I wouldn't want to live in most of Africa and Asia for both weather and development related reasons. I don't cope with heat well, you can't take malaria tablets long term (risk of heart problems) so you have to balance risk of malaria with risk of heart problems. I've worked in countries that didn't have a hospital in the whole country.

I prefer the developed world. It has its problems but they're nothing by comparison.

The UK is great. London is one of the best cities in the world. Your face doesn’t have to fit to have opportunities in life. You don’t have to conform to a narrow margin of social acceptance. You can take a train a relatively short distance from anywhere and be in some of the most beautiful scenery in the world. Everything is moderate, including the weather. We assimilate our incomers well and adopt many of the things they bring with them. And the approx 50% of my friends who come from elsewhere in the world, including countries which are supposedly paradise (but actually have most of the same problems the UK does) such as Australia, NZ, Norway and Canada agree - because that’s why they stay here, too.

I’d want to move if I were you too. I also live in England and it isn’t like you describe, definitely no riots and it’s not too dangerous for kids to play out! Can you move elsewhere in the country?