Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH not knowing obvious things he used to know

87 replies

Cheek2cheek · 23/07/2024 11:10

Eg that fish are cold blooded and insects have 6 legs. (DH is very intelligent, degree from Oxford, science background).

He’s nearly 50. Is it normal just to forget things that you used to know? It’s worrying me as it reminds me of when my granny (with dementia) forgot that children lose their teeth and had a freak out about DS’s happy smile.

AIBU to be slightly worried?

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 25/07/2024 11:18

The thing about insects legs is that we see insects around, I'd have thought this was the sort of fact that once you know it there would be regular reminders of.

I'd be curious to know if the OPs DH would know that a spider wasn't an insect, and if he thought about how he knew for a second then would know 8 vs 6 legs.

MrHarleyQuin · 25/07/2024 11:27

I'm 48 and my brain forgets I made myself a coffee two minutes ago.

Quite often I take another cup out of the cupboard and go to the coffee machine...oh thank you two minutes ago me!

MrHarleyQuin · 25/07/2024 11:27

Either that or I didn't make the coffee and we have a helpful ghost.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 25/07/2024 11:54

BobbyBiscuits · 23/07/2024 13:13

I didn't know all insects had 6 legs, what about millipedes and stuff? Lol. And fish? I'd never been taught about what kind of blood they have.

I guess I'm not an Oxbridge Educated scientist. But is he forgetting people's names, placing objects in weird places, repeating himself a lot?

My MiL got dementia in her early 60s, it was very distressing. I hope it's not that. It's probably not. But would he see the GP?

Millipedes aren't true 'insects' but a different class of arthropods. Warm/cold blood is definitely taught Year 2 at school, possibly Year 1 too. I would tend to expect this stuff to be bread and butter to an Oxbridge scientist.

I do think it's a little concerning OP, although I thought dementia affected ST memory more and it may be this feature of memory loss called 'transcience' that PP mentioned - clearing out old facts not used in a while to make space for new. Here are some comparatives I found:

  • Normal Aging: The person complains of memory loss but can provide considerable detail regarding incidents of forgetfulness.
  • Dementia: The person complains of memory problems only if specifically asked and cannot recall instances when memory loss was noticeable.
  • Normal Aging: The individual is more concerned about perceived forgetfulness than close family members are.
  • Dementia: Close family members are much more concerned than the individual is about incidents of memory loss
  • Normal Aging: Recent memory for important events, affairs and conversations is not impaired.
  • Dementia: Recent memory for events and ability to converse are both noticeably impaired.
  • Normal Aging: The person has occasional difficulty finding words.
  • Dementia: The person makes frequent word-finding pauses and substitutions.
dizzydizzydizzy · 25/07/2024 11:56

It does sound concerning, OP. Are there any other changes in him? My aunt had early onset dementia and she became very self-centred. When we had phone calls with her she would talk only about herself and her dogs.

HeadNorth · 25/07/2024 12:08

Dementia doesn't always first show as memory loss, in the traditional sense, but as cognitive impairment. My mum's husband got lost following a familiar route. After a lifetime of DIY, he couldn't fix a hinge on a gate. It is irrelevant if other people could follow a route or hinge gates - this was out of character for him.

My mum voiced the same concerns as the OP, but was brushed off the way many posters are here - we all forget things as we age, I'm always forgetting names etc. But she knew this was not right for him. And she was right.

Sadly, it made no difference, it was very difficult to get the dementia diagnosis until he was much further advanced and there is no treatment in any case. I am so sorry, OP, but trust your instincts, you know him best.

Bin85 · 25/07/2024 12:18

This could be a cognitive stroke which can come on gradually.
Please see GP for mini mental test and probable referral to stroke department at hospital.
Do it urgently.

BeanCountingContinues · 25/07/2024 12:34

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 23/07/2024 13:04

Insects have too many legs, that’s the problem. How many too many is irrelevant.

😂

Huckleberries73 · 25/07/2024 12:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Anyotherdude · 25/07/2024 13:20

Grammarnut · 25/07/2024 10:05

Why have you abandoned the wonders of classical music?
Knowledge does not disappear - you do not forget it - it becomes part of the knowledge schema in your brain, and emerges when you need it, which is why most of us do not realise we are using that knowledge, we just know a barrel is for holding e.g. beer. If someone is forgetting things like insects having six legs that suggests something other than just not remembering stuff from long ago.

Edited

Because I prefer Rock and Pop music - which were frowned upon in my childhood household.
I do retain some of it, but knowledge of which symphony by Mozart is being played has… well, drifted, and I can only remember those that I actually liked as a child and teen.
I’m sure that when I start to experience Dementia, it will all come back!
In the meantime, the music round in Pub Quizzes remains a bit hit and miss… (unless, of course, it’s on Rock and Pop😝)

Grammarnut · 25/07/2024 13:26

Joystir59 · 25/07/2024 10:33

I'm 66 and find I really don't want to hold information in my head- I use Google as an extension of my brain. I no longer enjoy or thrill at my ability to store useless information. My exam passing days are long done with. It's a bit akin to decluttering my home and life in general in a bid to live as simply as possible. I remember important stuff to do with my daily life and my activities (I'm an artist). I suppose I live more in the moment than I used to.

How do you know when to consult Google? Your brain stores knowledge whether you tell it to or not, though the stuff that matters tends to be acquired by rehearsal and repetition. Information is not the same as knowledge btw. I can go and look up black holes, but I won't be able to say anything meaningful about them and may not understand what I read without a decent physics background (my brain will have all that information to pull forward when I need it). I can hold 4 ideas at a time in the front of my mind, but need the background knowledge I (we all) forget I have, to manipulate those ideas. We can only think about things we know - which is why my thoughts on black holes is useless (though I might refer to them when writing SciFi, and have a general understanding of what is implied if they turn up in a SciFi story I read).

Grammarnut · 25/07/2024 13:36

Anyotherdude · 25/07/2024 13:20

Because I prefer Rock and Pop music - which were frowned upon in my childhood household.
I do retain some of it, but knowledge of which symphony by Mozart is being played has… well, drifted, and I can only remember those that I actually liked as a child and teen.
I’m sure that when I start to experience Dementia, it will all come back!
In the meantime, the music round in Pub Quizzes remains a bit hit and miss… (unless, of course, it’s on Rock and Pop😝)

One can like both. I enjoy the Velvet Underground and Hildegarde of Bingen, the Rolling Stones and Monteverdi. My late DH introduced me to rock music but never got the hang of the classical music I liked - though he enjoyed the odd opera we saw before his hearing deteriorated and theatres, cinemas etc became impossible (hearing aids made the sound a bit tinny - expensive items, too).
My DM had been moving towards dementia when she died at 96. She remembered things that happened when she was a child and forgot recent events - even bits of the conversation currently ongoing. Her loss of short-term memory had a lot to do with the death of my youngest brother - she essentially forgot anything that had happened after that. It was disconcerting but we all persevered. I miss that I cannot talk to her about her trip to the Isle of Wight when she was ten and the ferry ran aground...

New posts on this thread. Refresh page