DH not knowing obvious things he used to know

[Cheek2cheek]

Eg that fish are cold blooded and insects have 6 legs. (DH is very intelligent, degree from Oxford, science background).

He’s nearly 50. Is it normal just to forget things that you used to know? It’s worrying me as it reminds me of when my granny (with dementia) forgot that children lose their teeth and had a freak out about DS’s happy smile.

AIBU to be slightly worried?

Surely everyone will remember that fish are cold blooded and insects have 6 legs.
It isn't like forgetting metabolic pathways or something so yes I sadly would be worried. See a GP as soon as possible.

I would be very worried by this (I also studied a science subject at Oxford and am older than your husband and simply cannot imagine forgetting these things). I'd like to ask, did he remember these things when you reminded him? Can he remember them after you have reminded him, like a day later? Did he seem at all concerned that he had forgotten?

If he is not concerned by this lapse in memory, I'd like to point out that my mother has fronto-temporal dementia which is a) likely to have an earlier onset and b) one of the main features is a lack of self-awareness about the person's difficulties. It's very different from Alzheimer's and if you can get him to a doctor, perhaps you should raise the possibility of other types of dementia. The presentation of FTD can be very different indeed from more common types and there is a lack of awareness about it even among medical professionals.

I wish you lots of luck and hope that it's nothing serious.

Part of the definition of "insect" is having 6 legs. Millipedes are arthropods - related to insects but not actually insects.
You can thank the Year 4 Science curriculum for me knowing this! 😆

Dementia initially affects your short term memory not long term. Like another poster said you initially notice people starting repeating themselves a lot and they lose the ability to do difficult tasks such as managing finances. This doesn’t sound like dementia at all

It depends what type of dementia. What you describe is Alzheimer's. There are other kinds - and one of my mum's first identifiable symptoms was forgetting family stories from years back that she had told and laughed at often. It wasn't until some time later that she started forgetting how to do things or recent conversations.

You haven't provided enough information or context for this to be determined. Is he stressed or unwell? The first call should be the GP

I never knew that about fish tbh

OP not to worry you but my dad was diagnosed with a disease called CADASIL. It’s hereditary (cheers dad!) and was diagnosed at 49. It’s basically a form of dementia

That's not quite the same as forgetting that insects have six legs.

I think it depends on whether you’re interested or not.
I grew up in an aggressively musical (classical) family, but although I feigned interest and could recognise composers and pieces when young, since I’ve grown and made my own way, I can no longer tell someone what music they’re hearing, or who composed it, as I would have been able to when I was younger. It’s simply irrelevant to me now - as I’ve discovered what I’m interested in, and have discarded the irrelevant (pressed upon me) knowledge of my youth…

I have a very high IQ (it's relevant) and I'm prone to complete lapses in memory around stuff I should definitely know (and have known) e.g. the other day I couldn't remember if a whale is a mammal. I think for me it's because my brain works a bit fast and then I forget simple stuff (I wonder if I have some sort of ADHD). But the important thing is that once I think about it (and google if required) I think "oh yes, of course that is the case, I knew that and was being ridiculous". I can laugh at my own dopiness...and know it's just because I've got too much going on in my head. So I think his reaction is really important - if he's confused or disorientated or worried himself then it's likely much more serious than if he just thinks his "moment" is funny.

I have an Oxbridge degree and blame my occasional inability to remember things on the menopause. However, I'd say the examples you gave are pretty fundamental facts for someone with his sort of education (for me, that would be like forgetting that Shakespeare wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream). Definitely worth a visit to the GP.

My DH has realised how much of his degree he has forgotten...and often basics too. He tends to forget things the way most people forget a word - that momentary lack of recall. If it's a "yes of course" situation then it's probably fine. Anything else I'd get checked out. I'd probably not immediately remember the fish thing but decidedly the insect one.

Yes it is. Just because you dont know the current VAT rate, to an accountant this is similar to insects having 6 legs for a scientist

Thanks for all the replies on this thread and especially those who understood the sort of lapses I was describing- not saying that everyone should know X or Y but that X or Y are foundational knowledge for my DH so not like forgetting an address or a birthday.

I will keep an eye on him and maybe suggest the Gp if things continue.

there are other reasons for lapses in memory. Since having Covid my memory is awful. At one point i forgot how to tell the time, it was quite scary. I’ve forgotten loads of things I used to know. But it’s getting better. Now im approaching menopause though so it may all go wrong again.

Similarly, I forget obvious stuff, but I'm just generally quite ditzy. If it's a change from his normal way of behaving, that's concerning.

😂😂😂

Is he invested or interested in remembering these things?

Why have you abandoned the wonders of classical music?
Knowledge does not disappear - you do not forget it - it becomes part of the knowledge schema in your brain, and emerges when you need it, which is why most of us do not realise we are using that knowledge, we just know a barrel is for holding e.g. beer. If someone is forgetting things like insects having six legs that suggests something other than just not remembering stuff from long ago.

I’m 60 and have been momentarily forgetting things, names of books, films, where I put the keys, etc. for 2 or 3 years now. Very, very different to my mum’s dementia (I’m assured by my family) and I think pretty standard.

How does he react when you mention it? If my family had concerns I’d be more than happy to talk to the GP. Mum however was furious at the suggestion that anything was wrong and is still in complete denial even though it’s now crystal clear to everyone. I gather that’s quite common.

If he has a science background (forgot this) then forgetting insects have six legs is a major thing.

I'm 66 and find I really don't want to hold information in my head- I use Google as an extension of my brain. I no longer enjoy or thrill at my ability to store useless information. My exam passing days are long done with. It's a bit akin to decluttering my home and life in general in a bid to live as simply as possible. I remember important stuff to do with my daily life and my activities (I'm an artist). I suppose I live more in the moment than I used to.

If he's forgetting things that are fundamental basic knowledge for him (and those things are basic if you have good general knowledge and/or are a scientist), then I'd say he needs to be checked out medically.

@Cheek2cheek when you say you’re going to wait and see, what exactly are you waiting for?
If this isn’t a brief short term thing associated with a bump in the head or a bad bout of Covid etc then there’s nothing to be gained by waiting. Surely the earlier any issue is addressed the better?