Neighbour issue. What to do next?

[redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry]

Hi ladies. We live in a quiet, short road. Around 30 houses, all which open straight onto the pavement. 7 months ago our neighbour was having his house painted. Ooh says I......let's ask them to do ours too. Price was agreed and off they went.
A couple of days later they were good to start. We chose the paint and off they set. Myself and my husband were out at work and returned to a lovely great paint job.
Around 4 weeks following this a neighbour from down the road knocked to say the painters had got paint sprinkles on his car (it was parked outside our house when the painting was done). The painters had clearly not covered the close cars with a cloth. We didn't have direct contact details for the painters but we were sure our NDN would as they had initially engaged them.
We asked NDN to get in touch with them or pass us their contact details.
NDN did none of these things despite us asking several times. Neighbour with the car got his car polished, removing the paint. He said it cost £150 and is looking for reimbursement of this from either the painters or ourselves.
On Sunday 'down the road' neighbour confronted DH, effing and jeffing and threatening him. Like zero to 100. Prior to this DH was going to offer to pay half as we can't get hold of the painters and NDN are definitely not going to help with contact. Anyway, down the road neighbour storms off threatening DH and allsorts. DH didn't react to his aggressive approach (retired police).
Planned to leave it a few days for him to calm down and pop over to resolve.
Just now I went to take the bins out and down the road neighbour is walking to our house with a glare. I ask him is he is OK? 'Not really' he growls. 'Just wait till I see your husband' and off he goes giving me the evils.
Whilst I don't feel threatened by the dick swinging, I am feeling huge resistance to helping him meet the cost of the car polish now. But equally I don't need this drama so close to my home.
Any suggestions for the next step?
Should we be the bigger person and pop the cash through his letter box or let the angry man stew in his juices?
Sorry no diagram

I asked him if he was OK as he was glaring at me.

Exactly this. Neighbour probably thought you were trying to get out of paying.

after 4 conversations your neighbour with the splattered car is understandable losing patience at being fobbed off. It is clear you have no intention of paying him and the whole situation is in a death spiral.

Pay your neighbour for the damage. Your NDN is probably mates with the painters and does not want the trouble. You were lax in not getting details of the painters for your house.

This. I’m not sure if even paying him the £150 is going to solve the problem now. He’s always going to be bitter that he had to chase you for so long.

@ButterCrackers

how is he meant to contact the painters exactly??

@redlorryyellowlorryredlorryyellowlorry

how can you have a big job like this done & not have the painters details? What if you hadn't been happy with the job? How did you pay them. How much did you pay them?

how do you know (other than his day so) that this actually happened?

this paint smells off to me..

4 conversations and he still is out of pocket? No wonder he's lost his shit with you both! I would have too!

Surely the conversation could've been as simple as:

Him: your painter got paint all over my car. I've sent it to be polished and it cost £150.

You: so sorry about that. Send me the receipt and your bank details/paypal and I'll transfer it to you.

So so simple and would've saved all this hassle.

I don't think you're legally or 'morally' responsible for the damage to his car - it was parked on a public road and damaged by a third party. That the third party was being contracted by you at the time is a bit of a red herring - if they were backing their van up to your drive and scraped his door he probably wouldn't see you as liable.

OP has the ‘angry car neighbour’ confronted your adjoining neighbours who originally arranged the painters or (is he a body builder or thug) or have they just got off scott free or told angry man to get lost? If not and your adjoining neighbours can’t come up with the contact details which sounds absolutely bizarre and unlikely then the correct solution to keep the peace would be give angry car man £150 (ideally split the cost with your adjoining neighbours or just pay it) a sorry card and bottle of something. Life is miserable if you don’t have civil neighbours.

I asked him if he was OK as he was glaring at me.

But you knew he wasn't OK.

You had had numerous conversations with him and he told you what the problem was.

The perspective is good. Thank you all. I'll put the money through his door (draw the line at a bottle of something nice though).
We've never ever had an issue with anyone let alone a neighbour. We didn't realise it was a big issue until he blew his top on Sunday.

As I said, it was an attempted to engage with words.

So after four civilised conversations you've done exactly nothing to resolve the issue? Did you expect him to just keep having fruitless civilised conversations with you? I think I'd have had a few choice words for the pair of you as well.

Pay the man and stop being a "petty bitch" (your words not mine). You not retaining the contact information of your own tradies is not his issue.

Good that you're going to pay up, that's absolutely the right thing to do here and not be passive-aggressively asking someone if they're okay when they're not and justifiably so. As for this:

We've never ever had an issue with anyone let alone a neighbour. We didn't realise it was a big issue until he blew his top on Sunday.

Makes me think you could have had lots of issues with people if you don't even realise it until they're pushed so far that they have to blow their top!

The crucial point you have missed out here is that you don't even know who the painters are or have any contact details for them. It's not on for him to act aggressively, but I think he has every right to feel aggrieved by this and how it has been handled.

In your shoes, I would pay the neighbour and make sure not to use workers where I don't know who they are or how to contact them in future.

He shouldn't have to blow his top for you to realise it though. It didn't need to be a big deal if the paint polished off, but if you just kept saying "oh, well, we'll contact the painters, but we don't have their info, leave it with us" etc etc etc through THREE conversations he will have thought you had no intention of paying.

Do t put it through the door.

Hand it to him directly (so he can't say he didn't receive it) and APOLOGISE for the delay.

I don't get how or why NDN is refusing to give painters details. Either he knows them or he doesn't. Just ask him again, do you have them? Please can I have them as I urgently need to contact them.
Then I'd give the details to the other neighbour. As you say, there's no proof now it's even the same paint. He sounds horrible anyway so I don't think he should be able to menace you into paying him.

Doesn't household insurance policy usually cover Public Liability ?

It's really not! Liability lies with the house painters

These are the types of things that happen when you pay cash in hand cowboys just to save a few £££. No sympathy, apart from for the legit painters who contribute to the running of the country….

And no, we never use cash in hand contractors for anything!

My neighbour did the same to me. I had to threaten them with court before their contractor paid up.
This was the second time their work had damaged our cars. First time they didn’t even apologise.

why can’t you just do the decent thing? Ultimately they are your neighbours you have to live with.

I am surprised at my reaction to this as I am normally someone who tries to be fair and keep the peace with neighbours at all costs.

Do you think he would feel that you are liable if a Tesco deliver van hit his vehicle on the way to delivering your shopping?

Did you see the damage to his car? Do you know why it took 4 weeks for him to mention it to you?

How long is your front garden? If you feel it is plausible for paint to have splashed so far then ideally you would spoken to the painters, or at least passed on their details. I doubt that they would have been interested 4 weeks after the event though.

It’s complicated by you not knowing the identity of the painters, and your neighbour may think you were being obstructive. I don’t think you have a legal obligation to pay but can understand the moral one. If you agreed that you should pay it would have been better to sort this out as soon as possible. It was also incumbent on your neighbour to discuss the proposed work to his car before getting it done.

If you have already told him you will pay I think you should honour that, otherwise I think the price of his rudeness and aggression is £150.

NDN does know them. They are part of their extended family. Every time we ask for the contact details they say they will try to get them. NDN definitely does not want to help. I know the responsibility is on us to sort this out now but we were trying to get the painters to rectify this.

Have you explained this to car guy at any point?