To wonder if white furniture is feminine or girly.

[PippyLongstocking79]

Need to get some storage in ds1 bedroom and he is 12.5.
Am tempted to buy white furniture as I can swap it out into the other rooms if it doesn’t work.

DS1 is on the spectrum and probably won’t process this conversation. I don’t want to spend money building, buying and getting it delivered, and then realise.

aibu to buy white chest of drawers/tallboy etc for a boy’s room? Perhaps I can paint a dark wall or something and have a contrast.

I don’t think white is girly. It’s just neutral.

It will be fine!

White is neutral and will match whatever the rest of the ‘theme’ is - if it is in a pink room it will look girly.

Does it matter? DD's stuff was all sharks and dinosaurs which is 'boy' and it just doesn't matter.

My sons have white drawers and white bedroom doors. They’ve never mentioned it as their rooms are accessorised with stuff that’s more to their taste like grey duvet covers.

It will matter to me, if he says get that stuff out of here and it cost me £300/400. I would be gutted!!

Are they teenagers too?

They are teen and young adult

It’s quite disconcerting with a child on the spectrum. They often just decide they don’t like something when you have shelled out. It’s impossible to have that conversation before the furniture has arrived and set up.

White furniture isn't girly or famine. It is very much boring but not girly. I can't believe this is an actual thought.

Their rooms are furnished with IKEA/Argos furniture. If your son is likely to say get the stuff out then can you show him photos on a website ? Many furniture ranges have a black variant.

Furniture is inanimate and possesses neither sex nor gender.

My boys had white furniture, the Ikea Malm stuff, in their rooms all through their teens right up until they moved out. It's not girly, or feminine , it's a good choice because it goes with everything

It's completely neutral. Ds1's furniture is all Ikea white - a mixture of Malm and Smastad. He's 17.

No he is currently not interesting in looking or discussing. When it is all bought and built, he will definitely tell it like it is and expect me to wave a magic wand.

I personally think white furniture is ugly and don't like the way it looks, but I don't think it's feminine/girly.

You say you're worried about him rejecting it and wanting it gone, but why is that only a concern in terms of it being "too girly" for him?

Show him what you plan on buying to see if he likes it?
Whether it's 'girly' or not isn't relevant. It's if he likes it

unless that's the only "colour" in the room, then definitely not

DS1 (18) has white ikea malm drawers, and a white built-in wardrobe but grey/red bedding/curtains/wallpaper, with a big cityscape picture

DS2 (14) has white and grey furniture, with grey/navy bedding/curtains/wallpaper, and his favourite football team flag/pictures up

neither room is at all girly

white can be entirely neutral, and you bring the "boy" colours with your bedding, curtains and other accessories

DS has had a bedroom kitted out with the white ikea stuff for years. He's 15 and not bothered at all by it. Chest of drawers, locker, desk and shelving unit (kallax I think). We have a huge walk in wardrobe where all our hanging stuff goes so didn't bother with a wardrobe for him.

But he's not your child and as you say his reaction could be very different. Can you show him pictures before you order it? Or just order 1 item first and see if he's OK with it.

Because it’s the sort of thing he would say. And I’ve spent loads on various things which have been just dismissed out of hand as too feminine or too childish.

I have tried this. It’s impossible to get him to engage. Ikea charge £40 delivery as well so I would like to get it all delivered in one fell swoop.

My 18 year old son has white furniture and a pine bed. The walls are also white. Sheets are lilac!

Thank you. Feeling much better about this now. I will bite the bullet and order it!

in fact thinking back, both our DS have exclusively had white beds and furniture, since they came out of nursery furniture, with the exception of 1 red racing car bed (but even then, still white malm drawers)...

Go to IKEA and look about?
If he won't give an opinion then you might just need to say tough to him if he doesn't like it then.

I have adhd and possibly autistic.

I actually don't like huge amounts of white. It's visually quite difficult on my eyes. Not sure why. It's like nothing to process and can be painful.

However smaller amounts of white are fine and really nice. A white duvet with grey and cream throw and pink cushion. Some white boxes on a grey cupboard etc. I also prefer tonal than high contrast.

Maybe you could get a large framed picture. That's a pretty easy way to introduce colour and can be changed.