I invited MIL round for dinner a few months ago. She'd been having a tough time so I felt it was a nice thing to do. She was rude as hell all evening, snappy, standoffish, judgemental etc but I ignored it thinking she's just in a bad place and that was likely it. The evening ended when she snapped at my 3 year old and I pulled her up on it. I was polite but firm. She burst into tears, i apologised for upsetting her but she immediately left without saying a word to us.
Since then, I've messaged her to apologise again and explained why i was cross at the time. She sent a pithy, childish response along the lines of 'it's ok I just won't speak to him anymore then', so i've not responded.
She's since called DH in tears and said it's not about this incident, but that she feels like I don't invite her to places, I don't contact her etc etc. She then apologised to DH. She has not contacted me since her pithy message.
I work 5 days a week. DH works one day at the weekend and sometimes two so we have exactly 1 day a week as a family about twice a month. On those days, we like to go out to places together and this appears to be what she wants to be invited to. She's also upset we see more of my parents than her - baring in mind my parents ask all the time to see DS, come over to help us out regularly etc. She has never once in 2 years offered proactively to have DS, we always ask her to see him.
Anyway, since then I've stopped reminding DH to contact her and stopped contact with her myself. I've made it clear to DH that his relationship with his mother is now his responsibility, and if he'd like to invite her round that's absolutely fine, I'll cook, I'll be completely polite and act like nothing has ever happened but I absolutely won't be organising it or taking responsibility for her relationship with our DS.
Predictably, DH has not invited her round, asked her how she is, contacted her or asked to take DS to see her a single time without me prompting him. She has now told the entire family I'm 'keeping her DS and DGS from her' because all contact has stopped. SHe still hasnt apologised to me for not accepting my apology, and also has not proactively contacted DH or myself.
WIBU to continue putting the responsibility for the relationship in DH's hands and not accept that this is in any way my doing? If MIL wants to see her DS and DGS she just has to ask - equally DH isnt reaching out to her because he never does without me asking him to. I don't see how that's me 'keeping them away from her'.
Answers on a postcard, I'm more than happy to be told I'm wrong here and I need to pick the reigns back up, but I'm genuinely not sure I am.