University results - u certicate

[getrunningirl]

Found out this week offspring got a u certificate for degree. Got good Alevels though - covid version, but went to good grammar school.Knew it existed, never heard of anyone that actually got a U. ABU to feel more worried than cross,which is how I feel and am struggling to think how I 'should' feel. Perhaps expectations managed by failing 2nd year, but believed it when told knuckled down and turned round. Thoughts?

@heronwatcher am indeed focusing on priority to earn money. I don't understand why I'm not more pissed off though.Disappointed. Sad. Bit embarrassed. Worried.But not pissed off or cross. And that's why I was asking what others think about how they would feel. Hope others don't have to feel it though.

If he’s passed 240 or more credits (full 3 year is 360) he might be entitled to a Diploma in HE. If so, his results message should make that clear.

Thanks @aligirlbear I do think Covid had an impact, but that also feels like a bit of an excuse too.

Unclassified so an ordinary degree I think.

In Scotland its different.

That's worth looking into thanks @Maray1967

@mojomoon surprisingly the career's advice from the uni have said can't have an appointment as not a student. I expected them to be more helpful. I might check this myself.

What he has got is better than a diploma.

Did you fund them OP? I would be cross if so otherwise just feel sorry for them

OK so disappointing. What does dc want to do as a career or job? I'd be focusing on that

Well it shows he stuck it out and completed 3 years study. So not all lost. Can he talk about how he learned something from the 3xyears?
He needs to apply for jobs and take it from there. Maybe degree apprenticeship and redo some modules?

Only if the U is a pass degree. Ours are reported as ‘pass’ not U. He needs to check.

It’s a lot of money to repay to not even have a degree. My son dropped out after year 2, I tried to help him but he ended up not rejoining for year 3 (after initially pretending to go). 10yrs on he regrets it and is starting open Uni degree whilst working full time. Things have turned out ok, and he’s a lot more mature now, certainly capable of getting a degree

Unclassified. Which is basically a fail. No degree.

I don't think you're wrong not to be cross, it wouldn't help anything and I expect DC feels worse with your disappointment than they would with anger!

I expect they're feeling a fair bit of shame already. Clearly Uni just wasn't a fit at the moment, definitely the priority is to support DCs MH and begin gently to help with planning next steps.

If I were you then I’d probably feel similar.

How is he feeling about things ? Maybe you’re not angry because you can see that he’s angry at himself so it’s pretty pointless adding to that.

At the end of the day he’s an adult who will be reminded about this every time he looks at his payslip and sees the student loan deduction.

Not having a degree isn’t the end of the world and there’s lots of young people who made the wrong decision because of Covid. I have a slightly younger child who made the wrong decision in terms of education path but I’ve told him not to worry, it’s better that this happens as a teen rather than when there’s responsibility like children who are dependent on him financially.

I think that your son should get a job in order to keep busy and learn about the working world. He may discover something that is more suited to him and being older may mean that he finds some motivation.

It’s tough but it’s going to be ok. 💐 He needs to keep plodding along until he realises what he wants his new future to look like.

Thanks all, one of the lessons not learnt at uni was how much better problems feel if you share them/ ask for help etc. Just reading everyone's responses has made me feel better. Huge thanks everyone.

@zanatdy thanks for sharing. I wondered whether I would have encouraged him to drop out if I'd realised. Not sure I would have. As always thought he might/could turn things round. A good person, just hope MH doesn't become an issue. Seems am not so good at spotting the signs!

OP you're probably more worried than cross because a) you know your child is capable
b) he's probably already very cross with themselves and c) at least he's still alive and presumably well.
c) Is not cavalierly said every university has those students who take their own lives after failing.

Yes he'd gotten into debt and wasted your hard earned cash. But all isn't lost.

He's only failed 3 modules... So is very likely to be able to finish off elsewhere if he can fund it. If not there are other options to get into work.

Our working lives these days are long, there's scope to recover from mistakes.

This happened to a friend of mine, she left it a few years then contacted the uni as she was wanting to go back and start again with a new degree. They looked at the modules she'd passed and they awarded her a HND based on that.

She never did go back to Uni, the HND has not stopped her getting jobs or anything, even though it listed her ungraded/unawarded modules on the certificate, she says sometimes at interview she's asked about it but it never seems to put them off she's not been unemployed at all from 2 years after leaving uni until now (nearly 15 years).

It’s not the end of the world. Same happened to someone close to me. They worked for a few years then used the credits for the modules they’d passed to finish their degree at a university closer to home while working part time. Ended up with a first and gone on to do postgrad degrees since.

I read earlier but didn’t comment fully, my step son retook his final year and this year had some work to do plus a dissertation, he did his other modules but failed in submitting he dissertation, had a total melt down (autistic) and after 4 years has been awarded a HND (I think) the uni let him down, not details relevant to this thread, but I think you need to see if your daughter has come away with anything, and either way, they have to move out into the world, earn money and find their path. It’s very disappointing but degrees are net as valuable as they used to be. But getting a foot in the door somewhere to progress is probably the priority now. Look forward not backwards.

Maybe a conversation is needed about what they would like to do, any interests or doing some work experience alongside working.
I have two undergraduate degrees and a master's and in my late 30s have only been working in a job I really enjoy for a few years. It can be difficult to find where you fit. It's a hard lesson but sometimes these things can lead to other opportunities. University isn't for everyone and plenty of people don't have degrees. It's not everything. Try not to think of it as wasted time and money and just a learning opportunity.

I think being worried rather than cross is valid OP. I don’t suppose he feels great about it and covid was brutal for so many life and study skills for young people.

I’d focus on helping him find a job for now, not forever, just for now. He might need a year to think. There’s no rush. I’d take a no pressure approach as long as he was working 3/4 days a week for his self worth and some cash. These kids will probably be working until they’re 74. A hiccup at his age won’t mean anything in a decade.

As for academic success, I didn’t stay on for A levels. I did professional quals along the way, was accepted onto a masters course in my 40s (no undergrad degree) and carried on to do a PhD. Anything is possible.

Well I was the same, definitely MH relayed for my son and I hadn’t picked up. He made some questionable choices when living away, he was just not mature enough really. But it has worked out ok, he’s got a good career, recent promotion and he’s happy, that’s the main thing. Good luck to your son

Just to say OP, I knew someone who dropped out of uni after failing exams but omitted to tell his parents. Managed two years living as a student without actually being one. Eventually he confessed to his parents, went back home and built his life from there. He’s still in touch with his uni friends and has caught up with them career wise. He just went about it a different way.