To stop breastfeeding when DD loves it . Mum guilt

[Sparkleypants]

I was not able to breasted DS due to tongue tie. He is happy and fine ! Fed is best.

I was so shocked when DD arrived and I could feed her . After a bulky start we got there . DD is now 13 months. I work full time and she breastfeeds as soon as I’m back at 5 then at 7 then from about 9 she will feed all night if I let her . We co sleep so she sucks all night: She goes mad if I take her off after what seems like hours. I’m not sleeping and I’m exhausted. I don’t know if it is time to stop feeding her or not ?
Or do I try and get her into her own bed but keep feeding. I feel awful guilt as I am working all day and so feel feeding keeps our bond but she is now drinking all night and it’s become exhausting.

Thanks all.

p.s - will I stop craving chocolate when I stop feeding ! Hahaah

If you feel you're ready to stop, then I don't think you should feel guilty. My dd was 2 in March and still breastfeeds when she wakes up and before bed, and I am honestly so ready to stop now, I'm just trying to figure out how best to do it, so seeing some helpful advice on here is great! But definitely don't feel guilty, you've done amazing.

I did the grumpy-bear technique at that age. I had a gro clock thing that had a bear on it. I set it so it was 'awake' about 10 mins after DC would wake up for a feed. I explained that we can't have the milk until the bear is awake. It's not me making the rules here, it's the bloody bear! Bear would wake up, and baby gets a feed. The wake time got extended more and more. First few days we had tears, very upset about the fucking bear being such a complete cunt about it all, but lots of cuddles and by day 3-4 there was acceptance of the bear's shitty ways and by a week or so we got to not wanting milk. It didn't solve night waking though, but no more tears or wanting milk. DC still had evening and morning feeds though.

breastfeeding is different than bottle feeding in this respect - nature really is amazing the way our bodies function. No need to worry about this although of course you can wean at any point you wish to but no need for dental reasons!

Exactly - I mean a dummy is just a fake boob and no one has an issue with that (apart from dentists!)

The OP doesn’t want to be having to comfort her child with her breast for the vast majority of the night, that’s very apparent from her post.

This is genius! Wish I’d had this info with my ds (although to be fair he always liked to keep me on my toes with no normal wake up times!).

OP, definitely don’t feel guilty. I fed my oldest till he was just under 2 and wish I’d stopped earlier tbh, I felt really tired all the time and was also back at work. You might find it works to do 5 pm, 7pm and morning feeds but not overnight. Offer cuddles and maybe water from a sippy cup or bottle instead.

The only thing I’d say is that I thought ds wasn’t really drinking much at age 2, my boobs never felt full. But it was hard going for a bit when we stopped with engorgement and I went into a really weird hormonal numbness/depression for a few weeks (I know it was hormonal as it was exactly the same feeling as when I took the Celeste pill!). I also had random bleeding despite not being due my period. So I’d try and cut out the night feeds then drop the others one by one if you can. Good luck, it’s such a hard decision to make.

I always recommend looking on social media Olivia Lactation Consultant and Lucy Webber Lactation Consultant. They are both professionals and have lots of useful and realistic advice about work / breastfeeding / possibly might weaning. More useful than random posts on here from. Breastfeeding and work is really difficult to balance. My now 21 month old took 3 months to settle at childcare. It was a rough time.

Plenty of people have issues with dummies too. Just look at all the “dummies are common/ chavy/ lazy parenting” comments on those posts.

It’s not about what other people do or don’t have issues with anyway, it’s OP’s opinion that matters.

Only happens with bottle feeding.

OP just start reducing the feeds, perhaps at night try water instead?

I haven’t seen any of those posts but lots about being used as soother. Like I said in my ordinal post, it’s up to OP and she can stop any time she wishes, but she shouldn’t feel the need to stop because of false scaremongering comments re teeth. FWIW I used soother with one child and not with one so I’m not anti soothers, just anti women being made to feel they are doing something wrong by responding to their child.

I stopped at around 18 months by going cold turkey. I just explained that now he's a big boy, he has milk in a cup. You've done very well feeding for a year, time to reclaim your sleep!

. I think you can just night wean and carry on at other times? Look up Jay Gordon's method it's for cosleeping

I love that grumpy bear suggestion- wish I had known that one! I night weaned both of mine at 15 months in similar circumstances to you OP, although kids always started the night in their own room, so that helped. We just sent in daddy! Had a few nights of tears and not much sleep (No daddy! Want mummmmmmyyyyy!) But it worked, and then I carried on day feeding until 2 and 3. Good luck!

So much misinformation on this post. Its been disproven that breastfeeding can cause tooth decay. Also dummy is a replacement for breast not other way around.

Other than that its up to you. If you are ready it is ok to stop. I have read booby moon to my toddler for a month maybe and we stopped with no tears or anything.
You could also night wean only and replace it with water for example?

Kelly Mom is a good resource about breastfeeding, here is what I found on night weaning.
kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/weaning-night/

Choose a time when you can focus on this (weekend/few days off work, ideally partner or other support around)

You pick times when you feed - say after dinner, 11pm, 3am, breakfast. Offer water and a cuddle outside this. Stick to it at least a week even if there are lots of protests. Then cut night feeds to one, then progressively drop others as far as you want. I wouldn't stop right away or you'll risk mastitis if nothing else.

Dd used to drive me nuts, saying no milk til after dinner etc used to help.