To think that Resident Parents should have more rights than Non Resident Parents.

[Theemeperorsnewclothes]

I think we’ve gone too far into the patriarchy of the UK, political systems, family Courts, CMS. Non resident parents (over 90% male/fathers) have exactly the same rights as resident parents (over 90% female/mothers). A child centred approach is allowing the person who knows the child best to advocate for them. The resident parent should have more rights, with regards to making decisions/advocating for their child/children in the political/legal system in the UK. They, and their children should be protected in legislation.

I am therefore assuming you have never been in any tribunal involving your children.

Luckily no, but they're the child's rights not his. I think you have misunderstood. The children have a right to a relationship with the parents, not the other way around.

I completely agree. I think you have misunderstood. Most RP’s bend over backwards to maintain a relationship with the NRP’s. The NRP’s should also have a moral and legal responsibility to provide for their children. Sadly, the statistics tell us this is not the care, and the RP’s (resident mothers) are predominantly bringing these children up on their own.

How would this work when "NRP" is such a broad phrase? Could be 99:1, could be 50:50?

Are there any statistics out there to indicate the average split across two actively involved parents?

What rights are you talking about specifically?

No, i haven't misunderstood. They do have a responsibility to provide for their children. That's what the cms is for. And I know they're shit but they do exist. You cannot force someone to physically see or care for their children.

You don't want him to have any rights. But you want him to bring them up and provide for them. Which is it? You can't have both.

I don’t disagree with you at all, I think that the main parent, which is usually a woman takes on the vast majority of responsibilities and therefore is probably best informed to make decisions in the best interest of the child,

But this has to be a case by case basis, it can’t be a blanket “mum has kids 60/40 so they get the final say on everything” because unfortunately there are mums who don’t act in the best interest of the child and there are dads who are mostly powerless to stop it being the the NRP so giving away any influence they may currently have would make it a whole lot worse for those children. I personally have witnessed years and years of attempted parental alienation for no other reason that power and control (and spite).

Youre not wrong OP generally, but it wouldn’t make sense for it to be a blanket approach.

And lol most rps bend over backwards to keep in touch? Do they?

The evidence of watching them at work. My ex’s ex also was far more interested in hurting him than she was the welfare of her child. The evidence being disappearing with him to live with someone she met online and had never met in person before, who would lock my stepson in his room and not let him out for days. When we tracked them down he was 9 and weighed less than my then 3 year old, he had scabies and headlice and worms. He came to live with us at that point, but she cried domestic abuse, took him and disappeared again. Rinse and repeat with another man. Stepson came to us for good at that point. Her reason? She just didn’t want me to have him. Her own words. Without my ex’s parental rights we might never have found him.
your insistence that only female RP care about their kids is so short sighted and stupid.

@Ottervision So NRP’s do have responsibility to provide but by your own admission CMS are shit, so, as the statistics tell us most often than not, do not provide, as they are supported in this by the very government organisation set up to financially maintain the welfare of the child. “You cannot force someone to physically see or care for their children” I take it we are talking predominately about NRP/fathers here? Because if the RP/mother did this they would be in court for neglect and their children put in care. “You don’t want him to have any rights. But you want him to bring them up and provide for them. Which is it? You can’t have both.” I think you answered your own question. This thread is in no way directed at all the good single dads out there. I’m sure they are confident they are doing their very best just like the majority of the resident parent mothers.

The OP still hasn't managed to articulate what extra rights the RP should have, just that the NRP should somehow have less/none. I think the current system is pretty fair and reasonable, and possibly a bit biased in the RPs favour in some ways.

In real terms, my ex has pretty much zero rights over our children's lives. There's very little she can control (thankfully), and not without going to court to try and enforce it.

@cheshirebloke so in “real terms” in your own words your ex “pretty has pretty much zero rights” over your children’s lives. I’m sure that is how she feels too. It is interesting that you are thankful that “There’s very little she can control”. Particularly when you have just stated she has zero rights and therefore no control.

*”has pretty much zero rights”