diamonds are so pointless

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why are they valued so highly? Because they look nice? Other things look nice without the price tag, and without the massive industrial scale mining, and human cost of lives spent in mines.

Do you wear them? Why? Do you think this is a sexist issue? men mostly mine them and women mostly wear them. Why do so many millions of man hours go into something to adorn women?

Honestly you’re making me cringe. I mean it’s great you wanted to be paid for and do the homestuff, but I wanted to do it myself and as part of a patnership. Equality.

All the diamonds I own I bought for myself. I don’t need DH choosing my jewellery for me.

(ha! Sounds like loads but it’s a solitaire and a cluster)

Okay, you settle for that struggle love.

I don't understand this as a response to someone saying "If dh were the kind of man who was looking for a 'a fulltime maid, cook, cleaner, secretary, nanny, surrogant, sex worker, chauffeur, cheerleader, and so much more',I would have given the engagement ring right back!"

How is that poster settling for any kind of struggle??

For the person who asked me why i wouldn't be interested in a lab grown diamond, it's because to me it's a fake. Sure it looks like the same thing mostly but I'd know. The same as I'd have zero interest in owning a fake designer handbag no matter how real it looked.

To some people it doesn't matter, to me it does.

I love good jewellery in general & I would choose a small, conflict free, certified, high grade for clarity, inclusions & cut any day over a large lab grown diamond

If diamonds were not within budget I'd choose a different stone.

Fair enough if you genuinely make a choice on that basis.

But you couldn’t possibly know what’s mined and what’s manufactured. You have only the dealer’s word for it, and even if that’s given honestly the dealer can’t be sure.

Thanks. It's weird. That poster seems to think that the two choices available to a woman are downtrodden drudge and pampered princess. I mean fgs, even Disney seem to have grown out of those stereotypes

You're not wrong there.

Absoloutely not.

What's interesting is that you all understand that money is synonymous with the value of something in every other context. You understand that when your boss says 'we're like a family here so I shouldn't have to pay you overtime or promote you' that the person is trying to bs you and take advantage, but when a man says it you all eat it up like candy. It's nonsense to me.

Whatever man convinced you all that poverty and struggle love was synonymous with true love, that man I hope is somewhere running a multinational public relations corporation because he is a genius. You all act like no one can be in true love if there's money involved and that's just not true.

It's not so much about the cost of the ring, it's about the thoughtfulness. It's about the investment in something you'll care about. Because people can comment what they want, but I have never seen a man who like "oh, I can't afford a nice ring' put together a thoughtful proposal. Those two things typically go hand in hand.

Every happily married man I know, I'm talking about men whose wives are in a good marriage where the husbands are caring equally for the children, they are dotting on their wives, giving them thoughtful gifts, don't have to be reminded about their anniversries. LOVE their wives tenderly and take care of them like wonderful men should -- all of those men tell me that they knew right away when they met the women that those would be their wives and so they started moving accordingly. They started saving and what not.

So if you are two years in and he's talking about how he can't afford a ring, you were never it. That's just the cold, hard truth. And I think women don't like when I say that because they think it means something about their worth. No. It means HE doesn't see your worth, that's a problem with his vision, it doesn't compremise your worth at all. But get out of there, don't let him waste your time.

Two years max, especially the older you get.

Nor me. You can see the difference. I love a real diamond. 👍

Are you sure you can see the difference? How?

@Boomer55 I agree with you & I think it's partly to do with the fact that because lab grown stones are so much cheaper people tend to go for overly big stones which is often out of keeping with the rest of their lifestyle so it looks fake.

Also some lab grown stones are definitely identifiable.

At the end of the day it doesn't make an iota of difference to me what anyone else has on their hands. Do whatever makes you happy.

I have always loved jewellery & work in a design related sector & there was no way that I would have been happy to be engaged or married without a decent ring

I agree with much of what @Meowzabubz says though I can see it's not popular on here.

As with any gemstones, there are also spiritual properties of diamonds - clarity, enlightenment, hope, love, endurance. You can connect with all this if you choose. I’m sure many people here will say that’s a load of nonsense and there’s no evidence. Well that’s up to them. But if you know, you know. Billions of people have killed each other throughout history in the name of this religion or this god or that god. Personally I’d rather meditate with my crystals. Natural citrine for the solar plexus - fantastic for depression. Pink amethyst is incredibly calming - try some around your home or next to your bed. Aquamarine for the throat chakra, helps you find you true voice, Different crystals resonate with different people. If you are among crystals, you will know what you need and be drawn to it. People do far more crazy things in this world.

I can understand the ‘authenticity’ argument about diamonds with stones that have known provenance - like inherited pieces, but that’s really about the people who came before, not the diamond.

I’m very dubious that anyone could tell what was lab-made though. Dealers admit they can’t.

I think that's a myth that dealers can't tell lab grown diamonds. Natural diamonds have inclusions which in a good quality stone can only be seen under magnification. It's an incredibly rare & enormously expensive natural diamond that has absolutely no inclusions.

Lab grown diamonds don't have them so they're identifiable by dealers / jewellers who look

That’s not what dealers and jewellers say.

A diamond is graded by its colour, clarity and cut. The best white diamond will have a bluish tint, but if you look into the facets, you will see every colour around you reflected in there. I think ‘D’ is the best colour grade? In terms of clarity, it’s a rare diamond indeed that has no inclusions, even under a microscope. I think that would be classed as VS1 or VVS1? A diamond expert must know the difference surely, if lab diamonds have no natural microscopic inclusions?

Different people have different values and different views over what is important in life. Diamonds may have materialistic value, but if that is all anyone values; if that is how they measure 'love', they may be materialistically rich, but there is also a sense of poverty.

What's interesting is that you all understand that money is synonymous with the value of something in every other context. You understand that when your boss says 'we're like a family here so I shouldn't have to pay you overtime or promote you' that the person is trying to bs you and take advantage, but when a man says it you all eat it up like candy. It's nonsense to me.

Whatever man convinced you all that poverty and struggle love was synonymous with true love, that man I hope is somewhere running a multinational public relations corporation because he is a genius. You all act like no one can be in true love if there's money involved and that's just not true.

No we're not acting like that at all! I haven't 'eaten up' some PR bollocks. What on earth is making you think that those of us who don't agree with your 'It's important to purchase a woman by giving her a big ring' theory are living in poverty? Do you really think that men who buy very expensive rings necessarily treat their wives better? Do you really not understand that lots of women have careers they enjoy and husbands who are happy to be equal partners? Your attitude is baffling.

It's not so much about the cost of the ring, it's about the thoughtfulness. It's about the investment in something you'll care about. Because people can comment what they want, but I have never seen a man who like "oh, I can't afford a nice ring' put together a thoughtful proposal. Those two things typically go hand in hand.

But this is saying that someone who is poor, and therefore quite literally cannot afford an expensive ring, is not capable of being a good partner.
He may not be a partner you would want (fine, fair enough), but he's not automatically incapable of being thoughtful.
I've also seen some very thoughtless men chuck a big diamond around because in their head that meant they didn't have to put any thoughtful effort in - she had the diamond, what else does she want??

I don't need a man to pay for me as, like many women, I take pride in being able to earn enough money to buy my own jewellery isn't there a word for women who service men for money?

I buy myself jewellery on a regular basis, but have got into the habit of buying a special piece for big events in my life. My antique art nouveau diamond ring was bought when I was given the all clear from cancer. It is now my engagement ring, not because my partner is cheap, but because I love that ring and don't want another on that finger.
I also have a large and utterly gorgeous opal ring that my partner bought me for my 50th and when I was promoted to consultant I bought myself a pair of diamond earrings.
I don't come from the sort of family where jewellery is inherited, but that's fine because I like being able to buy my own and love the fact that there is a very personal story behind every piece.

Haven't read all the posts all though tbf some are rather long 🤔

I absolutely LOVE my diamonds. Most are 100% ethical diamonds and I know where they were mined. The other ones were sold as ethical diamonds but I can't know for sure that they are. Hopefully they are. I haven't any lab grown diamonds but I might get one. It would be a great big solitaire. If they were around when I bought my diamonds then I would have chosen Lab grown ones I think.

My diamonds have continually given me pleasure ever since I bought them. I keep them sparkling clean so they always look beautiful. I love it when I'm driving and the sunshine catches in my ring or pendant and the car is filled with little rainbows. I love other types of gem stones too.

I also love the fact my diamonds are so strong. I rarely take them off and will garden and DIY with them on.

@DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace. What else do you consider pointless? Art? fashion? having a nice hair cut or getting your nails done? Do you wear any jewellery?

Did you mean to quote me? I said that criticism of diamonds as "pointless" was odd, because so many things are ultimately pointless if you're going to look at it that way. There's no more of a point to sapphire or emeralds, or any jewellery really, beyond beauty and sentiment, but that applies to diamonds as well.
My point was that if you think diamonds are pointless, why single them out above anything else that has similar qualities.

My engagement and wedding ring are both black diamond. To me they are beautiful, I chose them both.

@anothervoice

I love my crystals too, have them all over the house, as well as on jewellery.

I do have a diamond ring that my mother gave me. I treasure it as she's passed over.

I think you’re a hypocrite. The minerals needed for whatever device you’re using to post this crap is far more harmful to the planet than the mining of diamonds. And your post reeks of sour grapes !!