Would you feel embarrassed if a friend turned up right now?

[Sunshine22224]

A friend? Family? Colleague? How would you feel if someone you know just showed up randomly at your house? I leant an old colleague / friend some party bits for their kid, I leant it probably about 2 months ago and I didn’t want to chase it up as I’m not in need of it right now, no rush. Anyway, today she just shows up at my house unannounced with the bits to return, is it just me or would you not have dropped a text beforehand?! Or just popped it round the side of the house. We aren’t close friends and I leant the party bits to help but I feel really awkward as my house is a mess, I look a mess, it just caught me off guard and now I’m worrying what she will tell my other colleagues that she’s still friends with? She was dressed up super glam and there to chat, I just felt a bit thrown off guard. I don’t know, me personally I would never just show up, at least a quick 10 min warning text?

I’d be fine, the kitchen is relatively tidy and that’s the room
yiu come into first … and if the sitting room is a toddler induced mess, they can stay in the kitchen! I don’t really care what people think. My house is generally pretty clean, sometimes a bit messy, like probably the majority of other homes with small kids I’d say.

Well jel of your battery recycling! To be fair we live across the road from two shops with battery recycling - I just don't always remember.

Doesn't help that at least one of the teens is ND which impacts his executive functioning. Given that neurodivergence runs in families, he's almost certainly got it from one or both of us! I was tidy when I lived alone, but find it hard to manage the tidiness (or lack thereof) of others.

When they move out it will be tidy again, and you can go and mess up their place. 🙂
Before we had the recycling system (10 different compartments in 3 bins) batteries was the one thing that would just sit in our laundry room for months..agree with annoying.

Quite.

I don't get this concept of 'being embarrassed' to be doing normal things in your own home. Why would that make anyone feel 'embarrassed' ?

I absolutely cannot stand turner-uppers. People who know me know never to turn up unannounced.
I have politely turned people away if they have turned up at a bad time. Once the MIL (now ex) rang the buzzer when I had just put DD down for a nap. I did not let her in!!

I would also personally never just show up at someone's house, always check before hand.

My house is always clean and tidy for us, therefore suitable for visitors too

I prefer a bit of prior notice, but that's more so I can arrange work appointments around visitors, rather than for cleaning

I hate people just walking in.. no matter how I look! BIL does this, last week the front door was unlocked locked as dh had taken the bins out and he just walks into the kitchen! I could've been in my undies.. so rude imo.

Did she come in?

I'd be a bit caught off gaurd because I've just had my legs waxed and walking around in a nightie and sudocrem!

If the hall/entrance area is reasonably tidy and the lounge isn't a disaster, why would you feel embarrassed?

If I dropped in on someone unannounced I'd expect to see their home in it's normal lived in state.

Obviously if you haven't cleaned for months or have toys/washing/binbags piling up on floor it's bit different.

Right now? No, I'd be grand. Some days? Mortified!

I’d absolutely hate it.
I hate it when my partner turns up unannounced, let alone a random connection.
But I am glad that you’ve wrote this post, it gives me the feeling of solidarity.
Once I hid under my own windowsill until a neighbour stopped knocking, but I am aware that this isn’t healthy behaviour 😂😂😂

I don't have friends who would care or judge me on the state of my home.

People who would do that are... not friends.

No, not dishwasher stuff. Usually lots of books/newspaper scattered, shoes abandoned, bags of stuff in the hall that have come home from work/school, post on the side in the hall, Marmite/butter etc left out in the side, few bit of recycling in the kitchen waiting to be put out, pile of shopping from Tesco at the foot of the stairs waiting to go up, basket of ironing that needs putting away. Just stuff. Stuff stuff stuff.

I prefer a text or call first myself. Funny how people never seem to show up when my house is clean and tidy and I look half decent! It’s always when I’m in hair- scraped-back, sweaty-from-doing-housework, haven’t -brushed-my-teeth-yet mode!

No.

Yes. I'm always embarrassed by my house as one of my children has destroyed it. Think broken doors and scribbles on the wall. It's an uphill battle to keep it looking vaguely civilised.

It says a lot about you if you cannnot forgive yourself for having a slouch day . This is real me warts an all. This is truth in plain authentic sight. Authentic is cool AND a good test. If people see authentic and run, theyre not a real friend . You eliminated a fake person from your life.

Yes, but mainly because I am bra and prosthesis-less and have one side with no boob and one with very saggy boob, in a T-shirt so very obvious! We have the remains of our evening snack still on the coffee table and the throws and cushions on the sofa could do with a tidy, but otherwise it's not too bad.

I wouldn’t care. If ppl turn up to visit me without advance warning, they take it as they find it. Never ever had an issue with unexpected visitors.

I would expect a text at least 15 minutes before they arrived. I'd pick up a few things in my sitting room and make sure any dishes loaded into the dishwasher and check the loo is clean.

Any ppl that have turned up to visit, without any advanced notice, just turn up.
It’s fine by me, I don’t really care. I’d prefer a heads up, but it’s not essential!!!