Would you feel embarrassed if a friend turned up right now?

[Sunshine22224]

A friend? Family? Colleague? How would you feel if someone you know just showed up randomly at your house? I leant an old colleague / friend some party bits for their kid, I leant it probably about 2 months ago and I didn’t want to chase it up as I’m not in need of it right now, no rush. Anyway, today she just shows up at my house unannounced with the bits to return, is it just me or would you not have dropped a text beforehand?! Or just popped it round the side of the house. We aren’t close friends and I leant the party bits to help but I feel really awkward as my house is a mess, I look a mess, it just caught me off guard and now I’m worrying what she will tell my other colleagues that she’s still friends with? She was dressed up super glam and there to chat, I just felt a bit thrown off guard. I don’t know, me personally I would never just show up, at least a quick 10 min warning text?

I'd probably just drop a text to let someone know. But I'd also like to think people can just drop in on me without having to worry about doing that. People always used to. Don't worry what anyone thinks, it's not the reality when you go round to someone's house and they know you're coming and cleaned etc! We all live in a shithole sometimes! (Me a lot of the time haha- blame kids)

I like people turning up - hate ones who make appointments

I wouldn't care so much about the tidiness even though I'm a bit messy but I just hate people turning up unannounced as I'm a massive introvert and I don't like being forced to socialise when I think I've got some alone time.

At the state of how I look...yes 😄

A colleague wouldn't get over the threshold.

And my house is fine and I'm washed and dressed.

House yes, it's usually fine. But I would most likely be in dog walking or gardening clothes...scraped back hair and no make up. Which on some people is a smashing look - but on me more Myra Hindley.

Our house is not a show home, but it is never ever messy and it is clean. We’re in Scandinavia so that sort of style I guess with no clutter. Everything has a place and things go in the dishwasher as soon as we’ve finished eating. We have a laundry room, as it’s standard here so no washing out.

I don’t care what other peoples houses look like, but we keep it like this because it’s the way we want it. I wouldn’t care if I was your friend, she was probably just happy to chat to you.

TLDR but honestly I would be embarrassed because I haven’t really cleaned all the rooms

😂😂

Yes it looks like a maniac lives here (she does) and I wouldn't let them in. Hate dropper inners.

I've had a day of housework today.

Other than mooching round in DP's basket ball shirt I'd be fine if a friend showed up!

Why would anyone giving back bits they'd borrowed do any more than hand them over at the door?

Do you expect the postman to send you a text 10 mins in advance if he needs a signature?

Why would you expect her to say anything to her colleagues?

No.

Even if it were a friend or family member and I were inviting them in, then they take me as they find me, but in your example, this was someone you don't know well, dropping something off, so she wouldn't even be coming in, surely ?

Honest question to you who says your house is a huge mess, not judging. Do you just leave things where you are after having used it instead of putting it back, is it dirty plates etc or what is the mess? Just curious.

No, because I don't work on a Thursday, and I have spent the entire day cleaning because I have book group here tonight. I would casually pretend it's just always like this.

Normally, absolutely yes. We have too much stuff and I don't like cleaning 🤣

I wouldn’t be embarrassed but other than very close friends I would not like dropper inners. Not something I would ever do to anyone else either.
A text or a call before visiting is just good manners.

Not really, not embarrassed about my house. But pissed off to be caught off guard. I'd be inclined just to chat briefly on the doorstep. If they looked like they were angling for an invite in for tea, drinks etc I'd be annoyed.
I would know that if you don't give people notice, they can't expect your home to be spotless, or that you'll be allowed inside!
If I really wanted to see them I'd probably just say, let me grab my coat, we'll go to the pub/caff across the road for a quick one. If there's nowhere like that nearby then I guess it could be awkward!

Usually:
Five of us live here, four just leave dirty dishes, mugs, plates etc either in or by the sink.
Teens make lunch and don't wipe surfaces.
Teens and kids bring stuff back from school/college/town and just leave it lying about.
Post gets opened and then left on the side.
Nobody does anything about used batteries except me, so they stay on the side until I go mad and take them to the shop.
Teens and kids take hoodies/jumpers off and just leave them wherever they took them off.

It is HARD WORK to get anyone to put away the things they have used.

But is this assuming everyone is a SAHP? Surely people wouldn’t just show up and ring the doorbell of someone WFH! and if they don’t WFH, they’d usually not be there during the working day, unless you know them well enough to know they work four long days or something and are always in on Thursdays? No one would show up at my house unannounced because they would know it’s unlikely I’d be at home.

It's going to vary hugely.

I wouldn't mind. If I wasn't in a state to receive guests (dunno...just had a sad phone call, blazing row with teenager, fallen asleep), I'd ignore the door.
Otherwise I'd answer and either be quick if I was doing something or ask them in for a cuppa.

Friends should know each other well enough to know what they're OK with.

House is messy but reasonably clean, I have young kids so I don’t think anyone would expect it to be spotless. I would feel uncomfortable though if someone just landed unannounced

I'm just about to leave to drop something off at a friend's house. It has been prearranged for today, but I have just messaged her to let her know what sort of time we will be there.

Ok I see. We wouldn’t leave opened post and batteries etc get emptied by the bin men once a month from one of our recycling compartments. When ours were teens they would be reminded swiftly to pick up their jumper or whatever but there has rarely been any nagging. But I get that teens can be messy.

Why on earth would you be embarrassed? You were gardening - why would you be dressed up? Surely it would be embarrassing if were wearing full evening regalia to do your gardening in??

I would also be embarrassed if someone showed up now. Nothing terrible, just a normal, lived in state with washing hanging up, a few dishes and some bits and bobs that need putting away but I like the place to be clean and tidy before anyone enters.

Having said that I always think when we make our homes perfect for people visiting then they think 'X's house is always perfect, I need to make mine perfect before they visit' and so the panic-tidy cycle continues when no one actual lives like that all the time.