I want to be as tidy as my friend but it seems impossible!

[Mamabear04]

Just been round to my friend's house for a play date with the kids. We both have x2 young children under 5. Her house is spotless! No clutter, everything neat and tidy even the bath toys all ordered by colour or toy type. How is this even possible??? I don't have an untidy house but I feel my house is just cluttered with toys, x47488484949 kids drawings, piles of washing constantly on rotation, endless dishes on the rack. I clean all the time and try to keep things tidy but the clutter always wins. How is she doing this??? How can I make my house like this??? I try to put everything back in it's place but somehow with DH and the kids it's always so chaotic...

Reducing clutter makes an enormous impact. If it takes more than a minute or so to put things away in a room, there’s too much in there.

When there’s less, it’s easier to find the will time to line it up prettily. It’s also easier to arrange things nicely if you’ve been ruthless and thrown away the empty shampoo bottle and paintbrush your toddler loves in the bath, and only kept the stylish toys.

I’m bad at the second one and allow my dh and dc to accumulate too much sentimental nonsense so my house is doomed to eternal messiness.

Less stuff. Tidy as you go

For example Ds bath toys all fit in a lidded plastic basket with drainage at end of bath. He takes toys out bath whilst the water is being let out, so all toys out, and lid on tidy before he’s even out the bath.

I store shampoo etc in Bathroom drawer under sink. I take out, use bubble bath when running and back in drawer. Use the shampoo on his hair and then back. Only the soap live on view in dish.

It’s from having small spaces. I can’t above clutter so do have much, and use and away straight after. If I have to return and tidy it won’t get done as then I have other distractions.

Every drawer from clothes to toys to kitchen I only ever fill at 50% capacity. It’s it’s fuller stuff gets rammed in and a mess

It sounds like she just keeps on top of things. I find when I do this I can fly around and have a pretty clean house in a couple of hours, there's 7 of us here so that's good for me and I clean all my bathrooms daily. If I leave things for a few days it builds up, I get to the stage then of not knowing where to start.

Clutter makes a place look untidy dust makes it look dirty. Dishes left in/on sink makes a kitchen look messy.

When I had kids I did a ten-minute cleaning blitzes with my partner on a timer after the kids went to bed.

I limited the number of toys by removing those they weren't using and putting them in the attic - if they noticed, I'd bring them out again.

And as horribly painful as it is to enforce, and depending on age, putting away becomes an essential part of play.

Toys go in containers out of sight at the end of the day. Life is too short to sort them by colour.

I’d be like that if I lived alone.

Between DH and the kids, it feels almost pointless because the cleaning doesn’t even last a full day. My dream if we won the lottery is to buy a house where I have my own wing
and no one can go in it.

Having less stuff is always the answer.

I know a couple like this. Their secret is to do everything that needs doing straight away. Everything has a place. The children help to keep their rooms tidy. They never leave the house without making sure it's tidy and clean. I'm nothing like them.

Bit defensive? Each to their own. Also

I don’t tend to come on these threads to say things like this as it’s not fair on people who it doesn’t come naturally to, I just do it

Why is it not fair..? You obviously think there's a superiority in living this way. Everyone's different, I wouldn't choose to spend my evenings the way you do.

Declutter declutter declutter!

Its the only way I promise, otherwise you’re fighting a losing battle.

So many great videos on YT and I also recommend The Minimalists podcast.

I'm tidy, but I clean as I go, and try never to handle things more than once. For instance, if I take washing off the line, I fold it as I go, and immediately put it away. When preparing food, I have the food waste bin in the sink, and the peelings go straight in as they are generated. Shopping gets put away almost before I take my coat off.
I do it like this because I'm fundamentally lazy, and doing a thing in the moment removes it from my to do list!

I've been surprised how much easier it's been to keep the house after clearing away most of left out items pre house selling.
I might never go back tbh .Its been so much quicker even if some rooms did feel empty.
I'm now in rented accommodation and what I've really found out is I/ we keep a clean place .A bit of clutter but wow the filth was an eye opener when we moved in

Cleaning every single day of your life is dull, even if only short jobs.

@greenpolarbear

Each to their own, I guess

I tidy as I go along, so clutter never builds up and the house is always clean and tidy. If unexpected visitors arrived to stay, I'd only have to throw bleach down the WC. I don't find this dull. I like to feel under control

I thought you were going to say you enjoyed it and it was a hobby to you, spending every day cleaning on the off chance unexpected visitors came to stay, what, once a year, sounds like a massive waste of time.

Do you live in a shithole?

My mum was your friend. I would just say - I have ZERO memories of playing with her, as a child. None. Not one. She spent all her time cleaning.

I don't live in a shit hole, but I live in a house where I have memories. With my actual kids. My childhood house was show home spotless. But I have zero happy memories of me being with my mum, because she cleaned non-stop. We might be a bit messy now, but we hang out together rather than wasting our years being spotless.

My db’s house is like this. They both treat tidying and cleaning as a hobby really. So organised but I suppose working ft in stressful jobs with two boys that are full of fantastically full of beans means they have to be!!! Eg evening time the kids help tidy then they clean floors etc when kids go to bed, Friday night watching tv they’d iron and organise toys while watching. Saturday morning is clean up time etc etc. I’ve tried to get to where they are but I just fall by the wayside. Fair fecks to all the really clean people out there!!

My house is slightly tidier than average thinking of the hundreds of houses over a lifetime I have been in. But I have two friends who are like your friend I have known them for 35 plus years both cannot stand a thing out of place at all. No one knows the number of hours people clean and tidy, we don’t know our own but theirs would be hundreds more than mine.I will ask have you seen x on tv, they never have time as they are both being very perfect with their houses.

I think this is your true reason for posting coming out here - you’d prioritise doing something with your kids or making a meal from scratch- and what? Your friend doesn’t do the same @Mamabear04

my house is very clean and tidy and I give my full attention to the kids and I cook from scratch. I am a clean person, I am organised and to be honest it’s takes me 15 mins after the kids go to bed to have the playroom spotless and all toys in their correct places - it’s not that difficult.

I have a friend who used to be like this. Turns out an immaculate house was a coping mechanism for a less than perfect marriage, child with SEN and demanding job. She would choose to tidy and clean rather than sleep because she couldn't relax if the house wasn't perfect. She was miserable tbh.

A decade or so on, the kids are older and less hectic, she's a SAHP and her anxiety is medicated. Her husband is still a dick. But overall she's much happier and much calmer - and her house is nowhere near as immaculate as it used to be!

Ha, no I don't enjoy cleaning any more than the next person

But, I do find that "little and often" works better for me than "house in terrible state, must spend hours on it"

As I said, each to their own

My house looks fabulous when people visit. I achieve this illusion by:

1. tidying and cleaning the day before they come much more than usual.
2. having an upstairs spare room where all the junk/washing etc gets hidden during the visit.

Her hobby is cleaning obviously!!

I have tried a few times to "keep on top of it"... nah. Bored to tears. Exhausted. And frustrated because within 30 seconds the place is a tip again! And I certainly don't want to be hovering over my family lest they put a cup down or leave a toy out!!!

So fair play to people who have an immaculate house. I cba and I am honest with myself!

There's no trick imo. Everyone I know who has a tidier house than me spends more time tidying/cleaning/decluttering.

They put in the work so they reap the benefits.

Every now and then I give it a go for a couple of weeks but I can't keep it up. Maybe if I lived on my own, but I grow insanely resentful of everyone mucking it up so it's better for family relations to let a lot of it go. No-one who needed a tidy environment would ever have married my dh.