Baby monitors/smart tech and anxiety

[PlumGoose]

We are due our first baby soon and I haven’t yet bought a baby monitor. I think I’d like to buy one that is a ‘basic’ camera rather than the new smart tech ones with socks/chest strap/breathing sensors but I don’t know if I’m being crazy or reasonable! Advice please…my main reason as follows.
Friends who have had newer tech eg Nanit and Owlet have both gone a bit crazy obsessive with it, both had a few false alarms in the middle of the night and really struggled once the baby outgrew it to relax without it. They had to use it every single night without fail to be able to function. They became entirely dependent and reliant on it and checking it eg breathing stats even if they had a babysitter so there really is 0 downtime. I don’t want to be like that and I think a lot of this smart tech type baby stuff is marketed towards anxious parents but actually causes the anxiety itself if that makes sense?!
My husband is relaxed either way about what type we go for but I know he is an anxious type and I think he would also become obsessive on the data if we get a smart camera.
YABU- you will regret not getting a smart camera, its worth it and I didn’t suffer those problems
YANBU- you don’t need to spend £200-300 on this, a basic camera is absolutely fine
Really keen to hear your views either way.

We had a basic monitor that picked up noise only, there was a colour change also so noticed a low noise if you had music or TV on. That's it. Baby went to sleep upstairs and we joined later but we went up and down to check regularly. I think the idea of a camera is madness let alone a breathing monitor.

Parents to be are massively manipulated into buying things they don't need under the guise of safety and being a better parent. It goes on through babyhood and it takes guts to say no. A baby 'needs' milk and warmth and clean clothing and human touch. That's it. Anything else is extra.

Almost a decade ago now, but we had one of those angel care breathing mats with the companion audio only monitor.

Unfortunately the system also gives off an "out of range" alarms, which of course went off one night. In my bleary sleep deprived state I simply responded to the alarm I heard and assumed baby had stopped breathing. I lept out of bed and out the door so fast I smashed my foot on the door frame an broke my toe.

Baby was fine asleep in cot and slept through the whole thing.

It's not just your mental health that can be affected by these fancy breathing monitors!

We have the owlet, it helps. We still practice all safe sleeping guidelines but with my firstborn I was setting alarms every hour for the first year of his life (insane!) I’ve not done this once with my second, rightly or wrongly it’s really given me peace of mind

We had a video one but didn't use it at all for DS2 because he was so loud we'd always know when he woke up

It's a bit chicken and egg.

I had a basic radio monitor, no video, before the birth. Post birth I went all out nuts, buying a special monitor and monitoring it religiously. In hindsight I'm sure I had some sort of post natal OCD/anxiety.

it took years to calm down and even now she is 7, if I'm especially stressed I will sleep poorly and wake up throughout the night checking her because I'm terrified she will stop breathing.

Sono it's possible your friend is struggling with mental heath and you aren't (yet) which I really hope you don't :)

Yes but that doesn't mean she can't spit up and choke on it or choke on some sick or whatever else might stop her breathing. Yes, that's more of a danger now. Pre-Ann-Diamond you let the baby sleep how they were most comfortable - on the side for one of mine, kneeling on their front for the other, so sick would just fall out and not be a choking hazard. Not that either were ever sick while they were asleep.

I imagine it's a lot more difficult to get babies to sleep now too. Great that we understand more about SIDS and can do more to ward against it, but motherhood is more difficult now.

Maybe. But when my DC has been hospitalised multiple signs for low SATs, I'm glad I had it rather than just standing by letting DC get more and more ill before taking action.

It’s worth noting that (by records at least), those smart function devices have never saved a baby from cot death.

It's worth noting that if the baby is revived the incident cannot be recorded as cot death as that only applies if it is permanent. So its entirely possible that a baby is revived due to the alarm and SIDS is prevented, but it will never be recorded as SIDS prevention because it doesn't fit the permanently dead definition. Statistics aren't always straightforward and all I'm saying I would rather sleep knowing if my baby stopped breathing or oxygen levels dropped I would be woken up to deal with it and have a chance of saving them.

To say these devices only cause anxiety is incorrect, they ease anxiety for a lot of people and have saved some babies like PP with dropping SATs she wouldn't have known about without it.

Do you NEED one? No

Do they help some people? Yes

By records I was referring to a newsworthy item, report from a user via a device provider or otherwise. I did a deep dive into this when my twins were born.

I didn’t say they don’t help some people. Nor did I say they only cause anxiety – you should be replying to others if you feel strongly about arguing that point.

@ImPunbelievable it emits very very extremely low levels of radiation. I KNOW that they are extremely low and lots of articles online say they won't harm the baby, but why do it? Given how many electronics they will be surrounded by, why attach one to their foot as soon as they're born? It instinctively didn't sit right with me.