Baby monitors/smart tech and anxiety

[PlumGoose]

We are due our first baby soon and I haven’t yet bought a baby monitor. I think I’d like to buy one that is a ‘basic’ camera rather than the new smart tech ones with socks/chest strap/breathing sensors but I don’t know if I’m being crazy or reasonable! Advice please…my main reason as follows.
Friends who have had newer tech eg Nanit and Owlet have both gone a bit crazy obsessive with it, both had a few false alarms in the middle of the night and really struggled once the baby outgrew it to relax without it. They had to use it every single night without fail to be able to function. They became entirely dependent and reliant on it and checking it eg breathing stats even if they had a babysitter so there really is 0 downtime. I don’t want to be like that and I think a lot of this smart tech type baby stuff is marketed towards anxious parents but actually causes the anxiety itself if that makes sense?!
My husband is relaxed either way about what type we go for but I know he is an anxious type and I think he would also become obsessive on the data if we get a smart camera.
YABU- you will regret not getting a smart camera, its worth it and I didn’t suffer those problems
YANBU- you don’t need to spend £200-300 on this, a basic camera is absolutely fine
Really keen to hear your views either way.

I wouldn't say that's ideal at all really.

Yes but that doesn't mean she can't spit up and choke on it or choke on some sick or whatever else might stop her breathing.

I also worried about her suffocating if she managed to wriggle under the blanket when she was still too small for a sleeping bag even though the blanket was well tucked in following safe sleep guidelines.

Anyway whether its SIDS suffocation or choking it made me feel better and sleep easier knowing if my baby stopped breathing I would be alerted immediately.

Owlet is awesome. Has helped my DC numerous times when they needed hospital stays due to low SATs, without the owlet I'd imagine most parents would either not seek treatment or have it delayed, resulting in potentially worse outcomes.

We got a video one but as others said it was pretty redundant for the first six months! But after that it was handy when DD was in her own room for naps and night time - if she cried out I could check to see if she was actually awake or settling herself back to sleep (which they often do - babies are noiser than you think when asleep!)

Dont bother buying one yet. Baby won’t be aware from you for at least the 1st few months and will just sleep in the muses basket which you can carry up to bed when you go up.

once baby outgrows the noses basket and is at the stage of being in a cot instead and more easily disturbed by you / the TV and therefore you take them up to bed earlier than you go up. Then but one, save your mo ey for now.

but ultimately no I didn’t need anything more than a video one with sound.

Everyone I know has a camera monitor but we have an old audio-only one and we've stopped using it. We can hear when she's awake. Perhaps not a popular opinion these days, but works for us.

@MereDintofPandiculation that's what we did, she was in the living room with us until about 10pm when we went to bed. She didn't start with a 'normal' bedtime until around 5 months and at that point we just went to bed with her, then started leaving her with a simple monitor after 6 months.

I wasn't a fan, I was given one secondhand. My view was that whilst they're really tiny, they're basically on/next to you all the time anyway. I used it a bit, but I noticed I kept checking it so it was making me anxious. It was easier just to go in and check if they cried out.

If you do get one, don't bother with getting any sort of intercom where you can talk to them - the sound isn't clear and it seems to unnerve them.

I’ve been a nanny for over 15 years, ime video monitor is imperative. Seeing if baby is stirring, resettling, playing etc is SO helpful. And being able to check in when they’re bigger and more independent is so useful!

jury’s out on the more breathing related smart options though, like anything- some love it and some hate it!

being able to talk through it has helped with a few of mine, and being able to move the camera remotely too would be other ‘musts’ for me.

I have a standard Vtec that has a separate video monitor. I didn't want a WiFi camera as there's a risk those types can be hacked. My baby has napped in her cot since she was around 3 months. I've never stayed in the room with her when she's sleeping unless I'm sleeping too.

How big is the house you live in?

I stopped using my baby monitor, because I was so stressed with it (was it on, was it charged/plugged in/working) waking at all times if the night as our baby turned over.

Then I realised...I can hear him when he needs me…I don't live in a mansion, he is in the next room/ top of the stairs with the door open. He makes a noise, I hear him, without any monitor.

Getting rid of the monitor was a real breakthrough.

like most things in parenting there’s a huge spectrum of choices and differences in what people do. Some people literally never let their baby sleep away from them until at least 6 months or older. Some people put babies in their own rooms very early and so need a monitor asap. Some people use the all singing, all dancing ones that give you breathing data, EEG output and all sorts. Other people use audio only or in some cases don’t use a monitor at all if their house is small.

In general with most things I go for the middle ground, which in this case would be a) following lullaby trust guidance about safe sleep and b) getting a video monitor for once they’re sleeping alone for short stints. If in doubt this is a good approach for most things I think!

Dts are older now but they were prem and in NICU for 6 weeks. The nurses advised us not to get the angel care mat at the time as it just increases anxiety and they gave off false alarms. Video monitors weren't a thing then and you won't need
One for first six months anyway as baby should always sleep with you.

Thanks so much that’s really helpful. Funny as I hadn’t even considered that a camera isn’t the minimum - feel a bit silly now but that makes a camera feel more like a middle ground with nothing/audio as the basic!
totally get everything around being in the same room and we intend to follow the lullaby trust guidelines, I was thinking more of the socks/chest straps when we are all (hopefully) asleep!

It was 20 years ago.......... but with my two we had the cheapest option that was available at the time (£15-20). It was a plug in (the babys room and which ever room I was in) and worked perfectly at letting me know baby was awake etc (if I wasnt close enough to automatically know.
The ones with cameras........... waaaaaaay OTT and not something Id consider.

Oh yeah I think those socks etc just cause anxiety.

I was similarly anxious. My husband did loads of research on this. I really wanted to get the owlet but he found the reviews said it had too many false alarms. The problem with false alarms is they not only cause anxiety over the alarming but can also cause “alarm fatigue” so when something concerning is actually happening you don’t react as quickly.

The nanit however was well reviewed and isn’t known to false alarm so we got that. Have been using it now for about three months (from when baby was around three months). We’ve only used the breathing monitoring extensively recently as we had the snoo so it couldn’t work with the motion. However, a couple of times when he’s been sick with a cold I’ve opted to not use the snoo motion and use the breathing tech instead and it’s probably the only way I’ve felt reassured enough to sleep, otherwise would genuinely just be watching his little breaths all night.

Baby is still in the same room as us but getting ready to move into his own room. The camera has lots of other good features too, can view from anywhere (even computer at work), white noise, night light, can talk to baby. The notifications are pretty accurate too. If you get the travel stand (cheaper to buy on Amazon) then it’s great for travelling with too, or for us where he’s moving between trying to get him used to his room for naps, but still sleeping overnight with us.

Happy to answer any specifics but we like it.

Should warn though you have to pay a subscription (starts around £100/year) which is annoying 🫠

In my view of you have a healthy term baby no need for a gizmo. Keep baby in the same room until 6 months, then get a basic monitor. If you have a baby with additional or complex health needs a fancier stats monitor is useful then.

The Nanit has other features like a night light, music etc which I liked. I also have to go back to work (I'm not in the UK) when baby is 4 months so I wanted proper cameras throughout the house. I don't think it makes a massive difference, you'll be in with them for the first 3 months anyway.

I didn't want the owlet sock as I didn't want electronics on my baby.

How big is your house?
We could hear if our babies needed us.
You don't need a monitor at all.

We had audio only and only used it in the daytime as at night I could hear if the baby cried through the bedroom wall. Also useful if baby sleeping in pram in shed!

I do think a video one would have been useful with my second child who was a terrible sleeper, just to see what they were doing or whether they were actually asleep, as I couldn't risk going in there in case it stopped them settling. I would get a basic video one if you have the money. Definitely wouldn't bother with the extra gizmos though.

Why?

We found the camera way more useful than audio baby monitors.
It means we can see when they are awake before they start crying, it usually gives us a 5-10 min headstart to have a coffee or finish whatever we are doing.
And if they wake up at night we can see if they are lying back down on their own before we go in.
For our toddler, we use it now to check on him when he is playing alone on his room.